All I See is Red

chapter 10

I woke up feeling completely and utterly awful. It's Christmas and i'm alone. I have no family. I have no idea where my mother is. What child doesn't know where their mother is? My heart ached for them.

I only let myself feel sorry for myself for a few minutes before pushing it to the deepest part of my mind.

As soon as I stood up my stomach churned and I raced to the bathroom, spilling the contents of my dinner into the toilet. Fuck.

Merry Christmas to me.

I stood up and looked into the mirror, my face was flushed and my eyes bloodshot. I splashed my face with cold water and brushed my teeth.

I probably just worried myself so much I actually became sick, seems like something I would get blessed with this fine morning.

I made my way downstairs and grabbed something to cure Boston's hangover. Today is Christmas, today is a happy day, we are all supposed to be happy.

"Merry Christmas!" I said jumping onto Boston's bed. He groaned, but didn't wake up. "Drink this," I said handing him a cup of orange juice and an Advil.

He groaned again but sat up, taking the cup from me. "Thank you."

"It's Christmas! You have to be more excited!" I squealed, shaking his shoulders.

"Why did you let me drink so much," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "How did I even get home?"

"You were that drunk? I brought you back." Worry swam it's way throughout my veins. He shouldn't be drinking at all let alone that much.

"I don't know, Uncle Bryan kept giving me shit. I think I did shots at one point too."

"I thought you had this under control?" My heart literally dropped thinking back to the time when his dad left, almost four years ago. He's gonna go back into his old ways of drinking every night, this is how it starts. Even when he was only fifteen he still found a way to get alcohol. Thinking about it now it could very well have been his uncle Bryan supplying him with it. No, that's wrong of me to accuse him, but I couldn't help it.

"It's not like before. It was just one night, I haven't drank that much since," he trailed off.

"It's Christmas, lets talk about this later, okay?"

His shoulders visibly relaxed. "Okay, you're right. Thank you for being the best girlfriend ever, I love you." He leaned forward, closing off the gap between us, pressing his lips to mine.

"I love you too," I smiled. "Let's go see if Santa came!" I stood and grabbed his arm, pulling him up off his bed.

He shook his head laughing. "Wait," his tone suddenly turned serious. "I know that this is kind of a sucky Christmas for you, but I want you to tell me if you feel, I don't know," he trailed off. "Just talk to me, okay? You can tell me anything."

"I know," I smiled. "I'm great, honestly. I was feeling sorry for myself for a while there, but—"

"But you just bury it," he cut me off. I nodded. "I don't want you to just bury it."

"We can talk about this later, it's Christmas!" I said excitedly.

He laughed. "Okay, okay, lets go!"