All I See is Red

chapter 44

Saying goodbye was the hardest thing of my life. I didn't know if he was going to come back. He could die out there. This might be the last time I ever see him again.

Maria bawled her eyes out, along with Jenny. It gave me a sense of comfort knowing that Chad was going to be with him though. They would be fine. I just have to keep reminding my self that.

Maria stayed with me at the house for the first month. I couldn't seem to sleep in the house alone. Jenny started staying over as well, I didn't mind though. I had to stay busy, talk to people, do something so that my mind didn't wander.

Jenny became my best friend, my only friend. The only thing getting me through.

1 year later

There's an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that will not go away. He's supposed to come home today, but what if he doesn't? I know he will but I can't help but wonder. A part of me has practically died in the time he has been gone. If he died out there I don't know what I would do. But he didn't. He's coming home.

I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down. He's coming home.

Maria came to the house to watch Sammy and Carmine while I went to the airport. I know that she was just as nervous and anxious as I was to see him, but she understood that I needed to know he was okay. I offered to have her come with me, but she declined.

Pulling up to the airport I was a nervous wreck. What if he's different? What if he's changed? A tear escaped my eye just thinking about it.

He's in there. Right through those doors. All I have to do is get out of the car and he will be in my arms again.

I wiped under my eyes and reluctantly opened the door. Going through security took forever, just like it always does. I looked at the board, his plane has landed. That means he will be getting off in a matter of seconds.

And then I saw him. My heart actually stopped beating in my chest. He dropped his bag and ran to me, before I knew it he had me in his arms.

"Red," he said breathlessly. Tears were pouring down my face so fast I couldn't even speak. He grabbed my face with both of his hands and kissed me harshly. I forgot the way his lips felt against mine. "I missed you so much," he said. I just turned myself further into his chest. He laughed. "Let's go home."

I nodded and he grabbed his bag from the floor and laced his hand through mine.

It felt so foreign to be holding his hand after all this time.

"Are you okay?" I asked him once we were in the car.

"I think I should be asking you that," he laughed and reached over the center console to wipe my face.

"I'm serious," I said, and wiped my tears away.

"I'll be fine. Just glad to be home."

"You can talk to me, you know?"

"I know," he sighed. "It's just going to take time."

And it did.

Maria was so excited to see him, she bawled her eyes out. We all did. She told us that his grandmother was throwing a welcome home party and that we needed to be there tomorrow at twelve sharp.

He took Carmine into his arms with tears in his eyes. She just stared at him, having absolutely no clue who the man in front of her was. I know it probably broke him. They had been so close and now she was so big and had no memory of him.