Collection of One Shot's

The grass is always greener right?

As I lay panting and exhausted from yet another hot sex session, I looked to my lover and he smiled at me with passion in his eyes. He grabbed my hand and kissed it before I could pull away and sit up. I smiled at him and stood moving to pull my clothes on, in the heat of the moment they had ended up in all corners of the room. Once I was dressed I began the goodbyes and with him it took over fifteen minutes to get out of the door, so I kissed him quick and promised I would be back as soon as I could.

I left his flat and it was like I had left a special bubble because as soon as the fresh air hit me so did the guilt but not like a gentle breeze, like a bloody freight train. I walked away and climbed into my car, I pulled my bag out from the back seat and pulled down the shade to look in the driver's mirror. He knew better but I checked for hickies anyway and when I couldn't find any I pulled out some body spray from my bag and doused myself in it.

I shoved the bag into the back, turned my engine on and drove home.

When I arrived I was welcomed home with a big kiss and a nice cup of coffee, my tea followed soon after and the guilt just kept growing. It never stopped me though, I wasn't sure why I had done it in the beginning but now I knew I had fallen hard for two people. My husband finished work a few hours before me or so he thought and that is why he always plays housewife and has my tea ready.

He spoils me because he is under the impression that I am slaving away in an office ten hours a day when in reality I am with my lover for the last two hours each day. My husband Louis works just as hard if not harder than I do, he is a male nurse and spends at least eight hours a day in the hospital then while I go and participate in a sordid affair he cooks for me. What kind of person does that? A despicable one.

I love my husband so much it's unreal, he treats me perfectly and the sex is amazing. I wouldn't ever get tired of him and what made it worse was if I did get tired of him and wanted to leave him, he would probably still support me as I broke down telling him instead of looking after himself.

I met my husband at university we hit it straight off and have been together ever since, we didn't rush into marriage either it took us ten years before we agreed to it. He is my other half and I am sure without him I would be completely lost, so why do I feel the need to do this to him?

I met William through work, he came in as a partner on a project and when it was over we never parted. No one knows about us, we don't go out in public and I always use protection and forbid him from marking me in any way. He knows about Louis and he has gone through the usual begging, asking me to leave him and stay with him instead but I told him it wouldn't happen. I offered to walk away at that point, warning him no matter how deep we got I wouldn't leave Louis but he decided he would rather have me like this than not at all.

So we continued and eventually I fell for him too and it became too hard to walk away from either man, I lived two lives and something had to give and soon. My only problem was deciding, after all of the years with Louis I couldn't see myself living without him but was that just because he was so perfect and spoiled me or did I still love him. With William I wasn't sure if I loved him or if it was just pure infatuation because the sex was so good and there was my dilemma.

Louis my husband and soul mate of thirteen years or William my perfect lover and secret affair of two years?

If I did decide to end it with William would I tell Louis what I have been doing, should I be a man and admit everything risking all that we have? Or shall I choose the cowards way out and leave it, what he doesn't know won't hurt him right? If I am already a contemptible human being then maybe I should tell him and if he decided he couldn't forgive me I could move in with William then I have someone to fall back on?

Oh my god what am I thinking of... I love these men and I am talking about playing them off against each other. Whoever will have me will win me, I am disgusting and I can't believe that I am even contemplating leaving Louis for anyone. Tom you are a disgusting piece of work and you deserve neither of them!

As Louis cuddled up to me in bed I tried to think of any reason why I would have done this to him in the first place. What was missing from this picture, what had he done to deserve this? I couldn't think of anything, he didn't yell at me for being messy or when I stayed out late, he never withheld sex from me and we still went at it like rabbits even after all these years. He always bought me gifts and he was spontaneous, keeping things exciting in our marriage so no I had no real reason.

Except...well there was no spark of passion like there was with William. I couldn't really put my finger on what it was exactly but with William I felt like a teenager again and with Louis I felt like a married man approaching forty. It wasn't exactly a comfortable feeling but at the same time it was safe and I liked feeling safe and wanted, I wasn't so sure that William would be able to provide the same kind of security.

I hated making decisions, Louis had always took control of everything allowing me to put my feet up and sail effortlessly through life. The one decision I ever made ended in me being in this current predicament and now I was facing a multitude of decisions that would need to be made and soon. I didn't want to hurt either of them but I knew it would happen, I just hoped if I chose to stay with my husband William would respect that.

If he decided he wasn't ready to let go he would tell Louis everything and I didn't want that, if he was going to find out I didn't want it to be from the other man. I am not sure I could deal with the look of disappointment and hurt from him if that were to happen, he would cope if I told him but no one else.

I think I have spent my life misunderstanding the phrase the grass is always greener on the other side. I have truly made a mess of everything but I am not sure that I am ready to fix it all just yet, I am not sure I am ready to let go of either of them. As I lay looking at my husband sleeping a barrage of memories flies through my mind and despite the fact that I love William I will always be in love with my Louis.

Louis my beautiful husband who gives me the world every time he smiles at me, how could I want more than that?

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A short one shot based on Jamie Lynn Spears- How could I want more.

Dedicated to @Kathyyjane for the song choice :0)

If you would like to read more on these three my story Duplicity is the full story :0)