Trouble

Cry

"We live in Daegu," My mind instantly travels to someone I have been trying to ignore. Focus on the person in front of you, I mentally chastise myself. 

"...and my son wants to be a musician, so we decided to travel and meet some agencies before going back." The woman continues, looking amicably at her son, who was busy devouring the dish in front of him. I couldn't see him, I could only see dark brown hair, instead of the lighter, chocolate. I choked on the some of the food and sipped delicately from the glass of water in front of me. Taehyung looked up, finally done with the dish, and stared openly at me. 

"Why didn't you want to sign with bigger record deals?" I asked brazenly, my manners flying out of the window. My dad clears his throat, elbowing me and shooting me a glare. I ignore him, continuing to look at Taehyung. This was not myself, but Yoongi's behaviour...it stuck to me more than my dad's glare. 

"I didn't get accepted; village boys rarely do," He folds his hands on his chest, leans back in the chair, and looks at me in a condescending manner. It was the woman's chance to clear her throat then. I sighed, looking away and hiding a ghost of a smile. 

"We are really grateful that you decided to sign with us," Dad told the woman, as they both feasted on their jjukkumi. I folded my hands on my lap, trying to block out my father and the woman, trying to think of what had passed between Yoongi and me. 

I was sure, now, that it had never happened. He wouldn't treat me like that. I knew he liked me, I knew he did, but...he didn't hold my hand. I sighed, looking at my empty plate, but not feeling full inside. What if he didn't like me? I felt my hand rise up to my throat, wrapping around it in response. I liked him too much for this to happen. Maybe...maybe he had a bad day. 

"What do you want to do when you grow older?" Taehyung's deep, oddly comforting, voice seeps into my reverie and I look at him, the hand still around my throat. 

"I want to own a business some day," I said, suddenly moving my hand away, and taking in a deep breath. Do not think about Yoongi. Do not. Do not. 

"No music for you?" His eyebrows rise in surprise. I let out a dry laugh and nodded. He moved his head in an impressed manner and settled on looking at our respective parent talk with each other and eat their food. 

-

"Yoongi!" I scream as I race out of the library, out of breath by the time I reach the end of the stairs. He stops, his shoulders tense, and turns to face me with the most closed off expression ever. 

"Yoongi," I said, as I came to a stop in front of me, and breathed heavily. My bag's zip was open, and I was clutching 4 other books in my hand. I had never looked this disorganized. 

"You should go back to studying," He said, pointing to the library doors and turning to leave. I huff, shifting the books to one hand, and reach for his sweater's sleeve to pull him back. He stops, shooting me a glare with a sidelong glance. 

"I want to talk to you," I said, dropping his hoodie, and holding onto my books again. Calm down, calm down, calm down. 

"About what?" He turns to face me, his gray hoodie low on his face, covering the wound I had patched up a few days ago. 

"Us...?" I hesitated, looking at him from under my eyelashes. He clears his throat, looking away, but continuing to maintain a cold demeanor. 

"I like you," I say, trying not to falter over the three simple words. Why did they hold so much meaning? They seemed awfully heavy on my tongue. 

 "I know," He said. I blinked, once, twice. I wasn't expecting that. I bit my lower lip and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. 

"I don't think you're in the right mood right now. Maybe...maybe we can talk later." I said, nodding my head and turning away. I didn't ask for him to come into the library. I knew he was looking for me, he didn't study there anyway. Why come all the way to my table, and then run away when I look at you? I rolled my eyes in frustration and had begun to walk in the direction of the library when I felt him pull me back with a sharp tug on the elbow. 

I spun around, coming face to face with his upper chest. I immediately moved away. 

"You don't want to date me," He said with finality in his voice. I scoffed. 

"How do you know?" I asked, arching my eyebrows, and snatching my elbow away from his grip. He hisses, as if he was expecting me to fight, and looks away. 

"I'm not a nice person," He starts. I interject, "I know." 

"You don't want to date me," He repeats, his voice getting a panicky edge to it. I looked at his gray jacket, and his white tee shirt, and spoke more to them, than him,"I can decide for myself, do don't decide for me. Not today, not ever." I spoke with a tone I did not know I could manage. I sighed deeply, moving away from him, and my bag higher above my shoulder. The movement causes something to tumble out of my backpack and land with a loud thud on the pavement below. 

"Shit," I spin around quickly to inspect the damage. Yoongi was already on the spot, picking up the textbook and wiping it with his hands. 

"I can't date you, Eun In." He said, extending the Psychology textbook toward me. 

"Why? Give me a valid reason," I said, taking the textbook, and placing it and all the books in my bag as he thought of a reason. 

"I don't...I don't want to." I stop my actions, look at him, and feel a redness creeping over my neck and toward my face. I look down again and being to slowly zip my bag. 

"Oh, it's okay then," He probably had eight other women fawning over him. Why would he need a 20-year-old college going women to give him any of her time? Why? 

I bit back tears and turned too quickly. 

Away. 

I needed to get away from him. 

I needed to breathe. 

But most of all, I needed to cry. 

-

"Maybe he has his own issues to deal with, before he wants to date you," Lee reassures me at the lunch table. I was holding up my end of the bargain with my friends: tell them about everything. They were trying to hold up theirs. Bora took in a sharp breath and got a steely edge in her eyes. 

"That sekya is going to die if he hurts you anymore," Na Ri says as she squishes the can of soda in one of her hand. Hye Ri chokes on the noodles she had been slurping as she notices this. I wasn't hurt, in fact, I was still trying to process what had happened. Sure, I had spent the better part of yesterday crying in the library while doing my homework, but I still hadn't understood what exactly had happened. 

"Stay away from him. He doesn't deserve you, anyway." Seong says in a small voice, already done with her lunch, and packing up to leave for class. I tell her to wait as I excuse myself and follow her to class as well. 

"What happened with you and Jae?" I asked, turning to face her as we walked out of the canteen. 

"I...I haven't told anyone but you. I don't even think I have ever talked to him properly, but..." I nod as she talks about her problems. If I can't deal with mine, I could help her sort out her's.

-

"I'm home," I said to no one in particular as I entered my house, and threw my shoes to the floor after I removed them. 

"Welcome home, Eun." I see Taehyung as soon as I walked into my home, sprawled on the floor, in my room, on of my older bed sheets, a pencil tucked behind his ear, a notepad in front of him, and Dubu sitting beside him as if he was the rightful owner. 

"What are you doing here?" I sighed, as I turned away from him and walked towards the kitchen. 

"I'm going to live here, now. Temporarily, till I find a good place, and have money." He says. I sigh. The list of troubles just keeps getting longer.