Trouble

54

"And did the doctor change her medicine?" I asked, twirling my finger around the saran wrap that I had carried a sandwich in. I had eaten it whilst speaking to him on the phone. I hadn't realized till now that I had been choosing to eat separately, rather than with my friends. And this was only because Yoongi usually called me around this time. 

I had been sneaking out to the courtyard area on the college campus, and sitting under a reddening tree every day for lunch. 

"Yeah, he said this one was more effective than the earlier.  It should thicken the blood enough to lessen bleeding," He said, sighing and presumably running a hand through his hair. I nodded, even though I knew well enough that he was too far to know it. He didn't say anything much after that. 

"Is she getting better, Yoongi?" I ask, looking at the tips of my shoes. I trace the pattern created by the tiles and wait for his response. 

"I think so," He said in a small voice. It was in direct contrast to his usual, mundane, bored voice. It felt like something had fractured the mask of boredom he always wore, showing his genuine worry. 

"Is Seong okay?" He perked up. I look to my right, at the 'Faculty of  Music' building. She had been hiding there the entire week. Yoongi had sent her back saying that their mother was stable enough that she shouldn't just hover in the hospital. She also had college to attend to. I had been visiting her every day for the past week after my classes were over. It was just Monday, so I was going to meet her directly after lunch since my classes were over. Hopefully, she didn't have any class either. 

"She's been burying herself in work lately, but apart from that, she's doing okay," I tell him. I had been giving him in-depth information about his sister's state. He sighs and clicks his tongue. "She worries too much," He said. 

I laugh, but the noise instantly dies in my throat. This is no time to laugh. 

"I miss you," He says suddenly. I smile and place the phone between my ear and shoulder, to get up to throw the rubbish in the bin. I begin my walk to the music building as I tell him, "You have been contemplating whether or not to tell me that since the beginning of the phone call, haven't you?" 

He laughs then says," Yes," 

"I miss you too," I say, climbing up the stairs to reach the doors that would lead me to the inside of the building. I admire the ivy running on the edges of the old, stony building before I walk in. 

"I think I'll be coming down to Seoul on Saturday, so we'll be able to meet then," He suggests. 

"Why do you have to come here, is everything okay?" I ask both hurriedly and worriedly. 

"I need to add the finishing touch to the song I have been working on," He says. 

"How can you think of work at this time?" I chastise him. He lets out a small laugh. 

"I'll see you on Saturday," He says, and cuts the phone. I lower the phone and look at how long we had been talking for: 54 minutes and 39 seconds. It wasn't enough. 

I navigate myself to Seong's hideout, the Instrument Room, and knock on the door before entering. I poke my head into the room when I don't hear a response. I look in and find Seong sitting on the piano bench, not alone, but with someone else. I clear my throat to garner her attention. 

"Oh, Eun In," She says, smiling and waving me forward. I inspect the back of the person's head as I timidly walk forward. Something felt eerily familiar. 

The person turned around I did a double take. Jae? 

"What are you doing here?" I ask in a confused tone. Was he now wearing glasses?  Why was his hair colored? Why-? 

My thoughts run dry as I instantly realize how futile I was being. He did have a life to lead, and I shouldn't hold onto a school girl crush that had been plaguing me for so long. He had, on multiple occasions, chosen to ignore me, and choose people over me, and I should respect that decision. And if he was now with Seong, so be it. She deserved someone better, and if he did anything to Seong, he would be facing a lifetime of torture and sorrow. 

"I'm Seong's partner for a project," He said, pointing to the girl. Seong smiled happily, genuine mirth shining in her eyes. I stopped short, halting all the criticisms. If she was content, especially given the circumstances, I should let her be. 

"I was just checking up on you," I said, walking closer to her and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I'm okay," She says, not meeting my concerned gaze. I give her a tight-lipped smile and decide to leave her. 

I give Jae a knowing glare, and he shrugs, turning around to start talking to Seong. 

I wasn't sure if leaving or staying was the worse idea. 

- 

"How come you're home early?" I hear Tae ask me as I drop my bag on the floor of the living room. I am startled by his voice breaking the silence. 

"I don't have anything to do," I said, sitting down on my bed and crossing my legs. Maybe sitting like this will give me some direction for what I am supposed to do. 

"Is this because Yoongi isn't here, or are you done with your homework?" He asks, sitting on the chair near my desk. I look at him, and my shoulders slump. 

"I don't meet Yoongi every day even though he's in Seoul, but this is too hard," I said, lying down on my back, and stretching my legs onto the wall behind my bed. This is how I usually sat when I needed to think. I turn my head to look at Tae and find him smirking.

"You're in love," He said, saying the last word with mirth dancing in his eyes. I laughed out loud and nodded. 

"Don't be so childish about it," I said, as he began giggling like a kid on his birthday. I was glad our relationship was returning back to normal, and that he was increasingly okay with me not liking him. I thanked the lords that I at least had him to talk whilst Yoongi wasn't here. 

"Do you miss him a lot?" He asks in a mocking tone. I nod and look at the ceiling. 

"Is his mother doing okay?" He asked, his voice acquiring a sudden, worrisome tone. I nod again. 

"I miss hyung, too." He said, and that's where we leave it. Sitting in silence, and contemplating how one person had begun to affect our lives in so many ways. I hope Saturday came soon.