Hey Sunshine

You Too, Are a Giant

"OH MY GOD HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR FOOD TO SMELL THIS GOOD?"

Wylan turned his head (and shifted his body from behind countless ovens that were not taller than he was dammit) to see Jesper come in from the doorway he had arrived in, and pause to stare at the glory that was forty cakes Wylan had absolutely no hand in baking.

The man who had actually baked them was currently sleeping (in a hippie-like coloured hammock that was hidden behind some ovens??? What did this mafia even do?) and snoring very loudly, so Jesper arched an eyebrow and stared at all the cakes Wylan had in front of him.

"So either you managed to bake all fifty of these cakes with absolutely no help and no previous experience," Jesper said with the smallest smirk on his face, "or you didn't help at all and the guy who actually did it is snoring from exhaustion and sleep deprivation because he had to make all of these."

Wylan pretended to sniff pretentiously. "Obviously the first one, " he said calmly. "Because I happen to know for a fact that the baker of all these cakes is actually sleeping in a hammock for another reason."

If possible, Jesper's eyebrow raised even higher. "Merchling," Jesper said with the slightest bit of a laugh in his voice. "That could have sounded very different if I didn't know that you were saving your heart for me." He finished the sentence with an obtrusive wink and Wylan's cheeks flushed his trademark red.

He crossed his arms and tried to look like he wasn't the shade of a regular forest fire. "And how do you know that I am?"

Jesper sent Wylan another smirk before saying in a low voice, "Because if you weren't I'd have to punish you."

"No." Wylan turned around and began to walk away, heading for the other door. "No."

Jesper burst into bright laughter at him before following him, leaving no distance between them as he slung an arm around his waist. Wylan tried not to lean into him too much and failed. "Well, the fake ceremony starts soon," he told Wylan, "and we're going to need to wake up a giant and get to the ceremony."

"Ugh, yeah," Wylan muttered. Poor Sergie. It wasn't his fault he was in love with two people that weren't poly. "And you have literally no right to call Sergie a giant. You too, are a giant."

"Ah but I'm a hot giant," Jesper said winking, "and that automatically gives me a get-out-of-jail free card."

Wylan raised his eyebrow. "In what world?"
"The world where you're the police officer in," he wriggled his eyebrows, "charge of me."

"No."

Trying to ignore the warm arm around his waist, he shifted to his side so he could head toward Sergie. Jesper matched his steps (which had to be a feat because he knew for a fact that Jesper had a much longer stride) and they headed toward the multicolored hippie hammock he was on. Staring dubiously at his figure, Wylan looked at Jesper. "You want to wake him up?"

Jesper shrugged before shaking his shoulder lightly. "Up you go mate."

Nothing happened.

Wylan gave Jesper a questionable look before trying himself. "Up," he said shaking Sergie's shoulder. "C'mon Sergie, let's go."

Nothing.

Jesper threw his hands up in exasperation before looking around and disappearing from view. Wylan bit his lip before refraining from questioning it and just kept shaking Sergie's shoulder uselessly. Steadily he got a little more violent until Sergie's entire body was shaking.

Nope, still nothing.

"Head's up!"
Wylan turned his head quickly to see Jesper carrying two massive metal bowls in a cymbal like position. Quickly realizing what he was going to do, Wylan clutched his ears tightly.

"Bang!"
The crash was ear-splitting and Wylan winced, sinking a little away from Sergie. He turned to see Jesper grimacing himself. They looked at Sergie.

Who was still motionless.

It was official, the man had died in his sleep.

"Maybe try again?" Wylan suggested reluctantly and Jesper hid his grimace before crashing the two bowls against themselves loudly again.

"Bang!"

Several bowls fell out of their positions and Wylan swore he heard the floor shake. Wylan looked at Sergie. Nothing.

He threw his hands up in the air with exasperation. "Jesus Christ!" he said loudly, "what wakes this man up?"
Jesper put the two massive metal bowls on the floor before stepping up next to Wylan. "Maybe we can suffocate him into waking up?" he suggested, though Wylan suspected it was more of a strategy to murder him than anything else.

"No, Jesper, we're not killing him."

Jesper pouted and looked ridiculously adorable.

"No."

"Alright then," he finally decided. "You grab his.... hold on!"

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he dug through them before finding the prototype of the flash bomb he had finally officially put together. "Here, Jesper close your eyes and ears."

Wylan directed himself near Sergie yet not exactly there and closed his eyes himself before throwing his flash bomb high into the air. Hitting the ground with a loud crack, it suddenly exploded into a massive cloud of light and smoke. Covering himself with his arms, he turned to see Jesper doing the same.

"Here," Jesper muttered, covering Wylan with his arms effectively. Then he hid his face into Wylan's back. He tried not to shiver from the close exposure to him, but he was pretty sure he had failed. Jesper was so ho...

.... and he was not going there when he was pressed so tightly against the taller boy.

"What the fuck!?!"

Wylan and Jesper slowly pulled apart to see Sergie's figure almost jump out of the hammock. He yawned sleepily and looked at the flash bomb cloud of smoke before covering his own face. "What the fuck happened here?"

Wylan bit his lip sheepishly. "We were trying to wake you up."

"Why what time is it?"

"Almost time for the fake ceremony," Jesper informed them. "We really have to go - I'm the ring bearer."

"Wait, what?"

*

a/n: this was a struggle. i promised to update 'tomorrow' yesterday, and i'm exactly an hour and eleven minutes away from my deadline. though knowing me, i'm a little surprised i didn't try to update this at eleven fifty-nine. my sister and i excel at mad procrastination - side effects include worrying about terrible grades, reading excessive nonsense on phones, and mass sleep deprivation. bonus' include satisfaction when your math homework is done exactly six and a half minutes before you have to visit your math tutor and turn in said homework.

thanks for reading,

mercy