Engineering Moon Forth and Doctor Beam

Chapter 10

My muse, my sense of humor, my gender has changed. Okay, not gender. But still, if this works, I'll see if I can go along for a little while longer. If not, well, that was that... In the least, I hope this is okay.

Warning: Characters are entirely OOC.

Someone somewhere once said that life is short, so we must all live as if each moment was our last. I suppose that means that I'm supposed to live an exciting, extraordinary, fun life – the kind you can write about when you're ninety and breathing and eating out of a tube. Well, the way my life has been going lately, I don't want to live that life. I long for a quiet, normal, boring existence where I can relax for a goddamned minute.

See, lately, everything has been way too exciting. My best friend has probably put out a contract for my life for all the stuff I did to him. My crush, the sexy but tundra cold Beam, thinks I'm about as awesome as having a blistering case of herpes. The entire faculty has been laughing at me, because of the most colossal misunderstanding of this millennium. But more than all those combined, I am being stalked. That's right. Stalked. By two dudes. (Please don't remind me)

Let me explain.

Dude number one hot on my tail is P'victor. P'victor of the not terrifying facial hair has been chasing me through the hallways in what he probably thinks is in a discrete fashion. I don't think that guy understands the meaning of the word 'subtle.' How successful are you as a stalker if your prey notices every single time you're there? I see him as I'm walking to class. I see him pretending to admire the water fountain as I scurry past him. These things could all be considered weird and creepy coincidences if it weren't for the fact that I see him every time I go to take a piss. Take that fact, digest it, and vomit profusely.

Doesn't P'victor comprehend the unwritten rules of the public toilet? One, you do not, under any fucking circumstances, take the urinal next to another guy! I mean, the bathroom would be empty, except for me and P'victor, and he will invariably and inevitably take the open urinal right next to me. Then he'd whip it out, just like that, and let it go, while I'm trying desperately to look at the interesting mold stain in the corner and not pee all over my shoes and the floor.

Two, as important if not as apparent as rule one, is that you do not try to talk to the dude next to you as he is tending to his business. So, of course, as I'm standing there, my dick (sorry guys).. in my hand, he tries to strike up a conversation. I swear to all the gods in heaven and hell, that if I had the ability, I'd stop peeing in mid-stream and run the hell out of the bathroom, but unfortunately, I'm just not built that way. So for two weeks (Jesus, I tried not to piss at uni anymore, but I just can't hold the shit in, no pun intended), I had to endure P'victor standing next to me in the boy's room, asking me if I thought it might rain later, what did I think of the latest episode of god-knows-what-awful-reality-show, do I think Angelina Jolie's boobs are slamming (exact quote there, much to my shuddering chagrin). Hahaha...

So yeah, stress. Lots of stress. Enough to give me an ulcer and make Nicky hand me a bottle of Percoset (where the fuck did he acquire this?). Enough so that P'wan suggested that I take a day off class and relax – P'wan, my strict guardian who threatened to ship me off to a third world country if I ever skipped class without dying from Influenza strain B. Their concern was touching, but I couldn't tell them what was screwing my head. The explanation would be bizarre and in the end, I'd have to confess that I'm in love with a boy. That is not really an option now, or really, ever, if I have my way.

So two weeks of P'victor, you'd think the powers that be would sympathize with my plight and cut me some fucking slack, but no. Apparently, I don't suffer enough, not at all, so they gave me stalker number two. His name?

Sir Bright. Yes. That's him.

He's likely been stalking me longer than P'victor, but he's familiar with the concept of subtle. I think he's had extensive experience in stalking – either that, or he was trained by the CIA. Anyhow, the only reason I noticed that he was after my (awesome) ass was through pure accident. I had just run out of the bathroom on the second floor after P'victor had invaded my private space and began a lecture on the joys of being young and filled with various and sexful hormones, and smashed right into Sir Bright.

No way in hell that he was just walking by, or even loitering aimlessly as he was wont to do. No. That'd be just.. I mean, what kind of a pervert hangs out in front of the boy's room in a fucking top university? The kind that need to go to jail and get special treatment from an inmate by the name of Jim-Bob who likes to lift weights and rub his junk into your ass! 

Anyway, off topic, let us get back to the story at hand. So yeah, I ran into Sir Bright after running, I mean, sauntering off with all sorts of dignity, away from P"victor. My nose smooshed into his chest and when I looked up, his eyes crinkled into a smile, the kind you only see if you've turned on the wrong channel at two in the morning.

"Forth, right?" He began, his voice laced with glee and terrifying anticipation, "find anything.. worth your time in the boy's room?"

I just gaped. My jaw separated from my body and thudded into the damned floor. How am I supposed to answer that shit?

"I've done some research on you since our last meeting," he continued blithely, ignoring my state of absolute horror, " and I apologize for thinking you were someone else."

I was hoping that he had forgotten about me, but no, why would I be that lucky?

Wait, research? Are you kidding me? Really?

"You are an interesting person all around. People like you make be glad I chose my profession."

Sir Bright should just shut the hell up and let me slither away in shock and shame, but that would be just too good for my sanity. So he continued on, and I stood frozen before him, much like a mouse contemplating its final moments before a vicious and venom dripping cobra.

"You're so complex, and yet, so simple." I could see Sir Bright's single eye glowing, as if he had found the Fountain of Youth occupied by a bevy of porn stars. "I want to help you become comfortable in your skin, as a man, as a gay-"

That's when I shrieked like the girl I am not and high-tailed it, because come on, who the fuck would let him finish that sentence in a hallway filled with people? People who have the facilities of the five senses – hell, fuck the five senses, just the one would ruin me!

Since then, I've been rather twitchy, and Sir Bright was everywhere. If P'victor had stressed me out by following me and breaking the rules of the bathroom, Sir Bright just overrode all the rules of human interaction and drove me into becoming a drooling, paranoid sack of nerves. I was so damned vigilant of his stalking (and to a lesser part, P'victor's, but he was so fucking obvious), that I didn't even get to enjoy Beam viewing like usual. In fact, I actually stuttered past him one day and didn't notice his presence until he bumped into me and raised his erotic eyebrow (yeah, he can do the erotic eyebrow, wanna fight about it?) at me. Just go ahead.

So, you must see what I mean about wanting a less exciting life. Too much of this 'live as if you're gonna die in five minutes', and you really will. Or at least, suicide becomes so attractive that you start wondering why the hell it's the worst sin in the religious world.

I really thought two guys stalking me for a reason I could not fathom was as worst as it could get, besides everyone finding out that I had the hots for Beam and lynching me. I really did, but I'm an idiot, so how could I have known something god-fucking-awful was just around the corner?

Because, after a month of this shit, of Sir Bright and P'victor, of Nicky and Beam, I met a nightmare that turned my world from frenzied crazy into frightening psychosis.

I met Prem Arpornsutinan. (Yes, Prem's from the Sotus the series)

To be continue...