Texas DayDream

Chapter Twenty-Five Mixed Feelings

Texas 25

4 days in counting

I sat in the living room of Adam's small house, on the couch. I was waiting. It was what I had been doing most of the day. Adam had left me at his mother's house while he went into town to buy some food. He didn't want me to tag along because he had some errand he had to run and he didn't want me involved. I had argued that I was already involved but he wouldn't budge.

So here I was sitting in his living room, sitting on his mother's nice floral couch.

Waiting!

I had been waiting a lot lately. I noticed this while I sat here with only my thoughts to comfort me.

I had been waiting for my family to hunt me down

I had been waiting for Adam to make a move. Which was so dumb because WHEN did I start waiting on a guy to make moves?

I had been waiting for the plan to go into action, we had four more days. Tomorrow Adam was being forced to bring me to where I would "meet the back up".

I had been waiting for my friends back home to contact me.

I had been waiting for Marcus to miss me, which now I didn't even care about.

I had been waiting for something to save me from my circumstance on the ranch when I could have just fixed it myself.

I had been waiting for my mother to notice I needed her, when she never did.

I had been waiting for my father to see that all I wanted was him.

I had been waiting for far to much.

Now I sat here waiting for a boy who I had grown to trust. An coming from my thoughts that was a lot. I didn't trust anybody.

I had been sitting here for the last hour and half. Looking at the photos on Adam's Mothers walls across from me, mostly they were of a young boy with a large smile. Some with teeth and some without, in various places. There was one with Adam, obviously, with a man next to him. They looked so much alike that I was sure it was his father.

I had me wondering. How had such a happy boy, go from all that, to running drugs? Or various other things? My mind made up some rather colorful ideas, from that point on.

I got bored sitting on the couch so I got up and went into Adam's room where he and I slept lately. My clothes were in a pile near his bed. I had to say Adam was a sort of tidy guy which was saying a lot. Most teenage boys were really messy. I had seen my share of bedrooms. The photos of him and Leah lines the far wall. Ages of photos ranging from the small years to the teens. She was always smiling in every one. Even their goofy expressions made me just envy them. I didn't have this with anyone.

And I wish I did.

Those friendships were toxic; I had come to realize this. It wasn't like I was blaming them for all my bad behavior, because that was stupid. I made my own choices I did my own stupid things. Somewhere along the line I became this angry, mean person and I just sky balled into this crazy rebel badass.

Not that I was complaining because even in my Crazy Rebel Badass way, I enjoyed the memories I had, wither they were good or bad.

I wished I had friendships the way Adam did with Leah, Liam and Roz. Some how I envied their friendship when normally their togetherness would make me barf and want to drink a six pack.

Somehow I had myself in Adam's room booting up his laptop and being a total stalker on Facebook. It wasn't like I was huge into social media but it wasn't like I didn't have one. What teen didn't have a facebook? I might not, I dunno, document my every move on facebook, but I sure wanted to see what my friends had been up to back home.