losing my sanity (book one)

chapter 3: the before part 3

Bellamy's POV

"I want you to," Clarke said.

She closed her eyes and I could tell that she had drifted off into a deep sleep.

"Dude, you're staring again," Murphy said across the room.

"I'm not-I'm not staring, you're staring." Good one, Bellamy.

"If you're not staring at her, then why don't you get some sleep, too?"

"Well, maybe I don't want to sleep." Another good one.

"Wait, let's back this conversation up. Bellamy..do you like Clarke?" Raven said.

"Guys, what are you even talking about? You know what, I'm exhausted. That sunset was really intense."

"I thought you said you weren't tired," Murphy said as he smirked.

"Yeah, well, now I am. If the world starts crashing again, wake me up."

I laid on the ground, my face towards the ceiling.

Don't look, Bellamy. Just close your eyes and sleep.

I decided not to listen to myself. I looked over at Clarke just to make sure she was okay. She was.

*five hours later*

"No..no..not again.." I heard a voice faintly saying.

I opened my eyes and saw that everyone else was sleeping. I turned my head and saw that it was Clarke. She was scrunching up her nose and restless turning in her sleep. She said it happens regularly, the nightmares, so I should just leave her be.

"B..bell.."

Okay but she definitely was going to say my name.

Out of nowhere, Clarke started screaming and thrashing. No one else was waking up. I grabbed hand and tried to gently wake her up.

"Let me go! Let me go!"

"Clarke, it's me, it's okay. You're just having a bad dream," I whispered in her ear.

She moved her hand so that it intertwined with mine and I couldn't help myself from smiling. It felt..it felt so right.

"You have it so bad for her."

I whipped my head up.

"Now you're the one staring, Murphy."

"With good reason. Tell me you're not in love with her."

"You're so annoying, you know that, right?" I said looking at him.

"I know. But Bellamy, just admit it. With us, you never know what's going to happen."

"When did you become wise? I'll answer that, never. Because you know what? I don't have any feelings for anyone. That's the only way to survive."

Did I mean that? No, but Murphy is annoying and I'm tired.

"Whatever, Bellamy. I'm going back to sleep because this conversation is boring me."

I laid back down, noticing that Clarke's hands were both resting on her chest. My hands felt cold.

Clarke's POV

"When did you become wise? I'll answer that, never. Because you know what? I don't have any feelings for anyone. That's the only way to survive."

I removed my hand from Bellamy's and rested them on my stomach. I kept my eyes closed so it was like I was still sleeping.

Bellamy's right, we need to survive. And being in love or having any feelings can only end poorly.