Luigi's Stoopid Mansion

Luigi's Stoopid Mansion/A Note From the Author

Alright people, listen up!!
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If any of you now reading this have read any of my previous works and or even remotely follow what it is I do over here on my nutty profile, you are probably groaning right now. You are probably rolling your eyes and sighing for the fiftieth time at my latest cheesy sentence, saying, 'Oh great, ANOTHER Luigi's Mansion book'. (I'm pretty good, right?)
And my answer to that is WELL I'M SORRY BUT I CANNOT HELP IT AND I PROMISE THIS IS A REALLY NECESSARY ENDEAVOR!!! I BELIEVE THE PROPER EXPRESSION IS 'WHEN YOU LOVE SOMETHING, WRITE TWENTY FANFICS ABOUT IT'!!!
Ahem. And so, I take up my metaphorical pen once again to bring you yet another retelling of one of my favorite games in the style of Cray. (It's a rhetorical form I've been perfecting.) If you should find yourself offended at anything I should make fun of, feel free to bang your fist on the hardest object nearest you and declare loudly, 'I OBJECT!'
And remember that I love this game, so in all seriousness I am qualified to make fun of it. (If you can't handle the stoopidity, you'd better turn back before it's all too late.) If, however, you don't have the patience to read a hundred and fifty-something thousand word novel about Luigi's Mansion, this is my shorter and stoopider alternative. Welcome!!!!!
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*heavy breathing*
Now please sit back, grab you some twenty-day-old popcorn, and please, no flash photography.

P. S. Because a lot of the music in Luigi's Mansion is serious, I will be playing quite frequently THIS musical beauty, the one song that fits the mood really well.