Luigi's Stoopid Mansion

12. Going to the Ball (Or, the Hillbilly Hootenanny)

Author: Hey there, folks! Welcome back to Luigi's Stoopid Mansion!...

Mansion: Boy, do we have a show for you tonight!

E.Gadd: Well that's good. I didn't pay the price of admission for a lousy song and dance.

Author: U-Uhh...

King Boo: HEY! YOU TAKE WHATEVER YOU'RE GIVEN, FLESHFACE!!

Neville: Well we were forced to come to this place! Nobody even asked us if WE wanted admission!

Mansion: EVERYONE WANTS ADMISSION TO THE OH GREAT AND POWERFUL MANSION! ...Okay, punk??

...
In the fortuneteller's room, we get back to the previous segment of Flirting with Fortuntellers™️.
Luigi crossed his arms skeptically and studied Clair for a moment. "Hmm... I don't know. I've never really danced at a ball before. Especially not with someone so... drop dead gorgeous."
Mappy puked in his pocket again at his bad pun, leaving us to wonder what map puke looks like.
Don't worry, Luigi can wash clothes later. *wink*
"Pardon me, ball?? What ball?!" Mappy yelled.
"The one happening across the hall in 12 seconds," Clair replied. "I would ask you to put on a suit, but you look mighty fine in whatever you're wearing." She raised her eyebrows at Luigi.
"And you look mighty fine in your face rags," Luigi replied. Behind his hand, he whispered, "Am I selling it?"
Clairvoya groaned. "More or less." Then, loud enough for the audience to hear, she announced, "So then you're coming!"
Luigi made another skeptical face. "Yeah, well, I can give it a try; but I'm warning you I have some pretty lethal dance moves. What will they be playing?" He offered an arm to Clair, got confused when she told him to move around to the other side, and had to be shoved into place. They linked arms and headed for the door, with it being very obvious Luigi had never done this before.
So basically they looked like a kindergartener taking a deceased grandmother to the dance.
"I'm quite proficient at the Tango and the Polka," Luigi was saying as they headed into the hall. "And of course there's always interpretive dance!"
"That's nice, but it's going to be a formal ball," Clair informed him.
"Oh, so a Ballet," Luigi said. "Gotcha."
Clair groaned.
Mappy sat incredulously in his pocket. "Uh, Luigi? What are you doing? We have work to do!"
"Mappy, it's always an appropriate time to dance," Luigi chided.
"Look, we can discuss that later... when you're NOT holding hands with one of the resident ghosts!!"
"Nonsense, Mappy. She's just leading me somewhere."
"Hey, if this is going to work out, you're going to need to tell your friend to shut up," Clair informed him.
So Mappy growled as Luigi, swept up in a whim of fantasy romance, ran off with the woman.
(For the first time in his life, I might add.)

Toad: Somehow I always pictured it would turn out just like this.

Luigi: ...Are you insulting my fantasy?

But need I remind you this is a STOOPID fantasy, and therefore there is only one way we can do this.

*FLASHY NEWS LOGO!*

Welcome one and all to the Boo Woods Nightly Haunted Ball! Booscaster reporting live from Luigi's Mansion, joined by my co-anchor Boogie from the scenic ballroom! What's it look like down there, Boog?

Boogie: Well Booscaster, it's a swarming gala of ghosts tonight as everyone is coming out to see the promised Lady Whirlinda and Lord Whirlind perform their winning 1953 performance from Dancing with the Stars! The ballroom is lit and the guests keep coming — oh look, it's the Five Shy Ghouls! (What the heck are those spears for??) There we have the Blue Twirlers, known for their reckless style! Wonder what kind of mad moves they'll bust out this time?