The Replacement Boyfriend

Chapter 19

Zayne

Leaving Chicago without Tace had to be the hardest thing ever. Not just because I didn't want to leave her behind but because I could see it on her face that she wanted to come with me. I could tell that she was worried about Cassidy who had asked her to accompany them back home and I could tell that it was more than just that request. Tace wanted to be there for Cassidy the way everyone was always there for her.

Plus, I now had to explain to a four year old why her sister couldn't be home when I was.

I managed to find my way to the bus station, snag one of the last seats on a bus back to Omaha and get on the bus. I sent Tace a message that I had gotten a bus and that we had just started moving when my phone lit up with her name. I picked it up almost immediately and held the phone to my ear.

"Hey," I said softly onto the phone.

"We're leaving, too," she informed me and I could hear sniffling in the background which was Cassidy, no doubt. "We just got all the bags in the car and – Cass, get in – sorry, yeah, I think we're going to head off."

"Springfield, right?" I cross-checked, knowing that Springfield was almost the same distance from Chicago as Omaha.

"Yeah," she chirped, trying to sound upbeat even though I could tell she was panicking on the inside. "I'll call you when I reach then."

"Tace?" I almost whispered but she still caught me.

"Yeah?" she asked and I listened as the car doors slammed shut from the other side of the phone.

"Call me if you, you know?" I asked awkwardly. "Have an anxiety attack."

For a moment, I thought I had offended her. She was silent for several seconds; the only sound between us was the static. "Thank you, Zayne."

"Tell Cass and Jax that I hope their sisters are fine," I murmured even though I wasn't sure whether it would mean much to them, coming from me. "I'll, uh, pray for them in church."

"Thanks," she whispered back. "That would be nice. I'll keep you posted."

"Yeah, bye, Red," I said even though I wanted to keep listening to her voice.

"Bye," she replied.

"I love you-" but she had already cut the call.

Even though I had said those words to her a million times while we were growing up, she had never said it back...even as friends. She had never told me she loved me. Suddenly, I couldn't remember her ever saying 'I love you' to anyone. It was always 'me too' or she would smile and brush it off. Had she ever told Dane that she loved him? Would she ever be able to say those words to me?

***

By the time I got home, it was extremely late. I was starving and tired of sitting in the bus for 7 or 8 hours even though at some point I had fallen asleep and the hours had blended together. As soon as I got home, my mother asked me where Tace was. I explained why Tace hadn't come with me and she didn't question it. She sent me to freshen up while she whipped up something for me to eat. I still hadn't figured out how to explain to a four year old why her sister hadn't come back. I didn't think someone else's family problem was a big enough reason for Amara to accept the fact that Tace hadn't come back. And I wasn't ready to handle the waterworks.

"Mom, maybe you can go over tomorrow morning and tell Amara about Tace," I said coolly as I stuffed my face with the turkey sandwich she had made for me.

"Hasn't she told her mother that she isn't coming?" she asked me, cleaning up the kitchen why I hogged. "I'm sure she would have told Amara already."

"I highly doubt it," I chuckled and then choked on the turkey.

She brought me a glass of water and I chugged it to wash the turkey sandwich down.

"I don't think Tace has spoken to her parents for a while," I told her. "She was worried about Amara and I don't think she's going to take it well."

"We'll see in the morning," she sighed. "I'll come with you. We'll explain it to her together if she doesn't already know."

I nodded, putting my plate in the sink. I washed my plate and glass and followed my mother upstairs. She kissed me on the head before going back to her room to sleep. "Goodnight, Zaynie."

My room looked exactly the same. It looked like Dane hadn't left because all his stuff was still there. A part of me wished that he hadn't left. Even though I had pretended to enjoy high school, going to parties, kissing pretty girls while I had been pining for my twin brother's girl, part of me wished we could go back to the way it was. At least I'd still have my brother next to me and I would have more of Tace's attention than I did right now.

Thinking about Tace made me want to bang my head against the wall. Yeah, my brother had let her go so she could enjoy college and date other people. I had been the stupid one who thought she'd come running into my arms. I had been waiting for her for so long, I just assumed that she'd come to me once my brother was gone. She wasn't still crying over him so it couldn't be that I reminded her of Dane because we looked the same. What did Dane or Jax, for that matter, have what I didn't have? What were they giving her that I couldn't give her?

I knew I could treat her the way someone as beautiful as her had to be treated. I knew I could be who she needed and wanted. So why couldn't she see it?