The Replacement Boyfriend

Chapter 21

Tace

The next morning, we all headed to the hospital to check on Erin. I introduced myself to their father who looked like he hadn't slept all night but even with his pale face and dark-circles, his features were unmistakably like Jax's. I spent an hour watching and comforting Cassidy as she held her little sister's hand and cried. I tried not to cry as well even though I could feel it building in my chest. I knew I had to be strong for her.

Jax held my hands a couple of times, letting go whenever Cassidy or one of his parents looked our way. I wasn't sure whether he was looking for the comfort I was giving Cassidy or he just wanted to hold my hand. But I wasn't going to complain about it because his hand was soft and warm and it felt more like he was comforting me.

Jax and Cassidy knew about my anxiety problems but they hadn't seen a full-blown panic attack and I wasn't about to let them. I had managed to keep my anxiety in check since I joined college and I wanted to keep it that way – hidden underneath.

Cassidy and Jax's father had to leave for work after a while of catching up with them about college and everything. I could tell that he was trying to be strong for all of them and I could tell that Jax was trying to play it cool even though he wanted to cry as much as Cassidy was. After their father left and an hour had passed, their mother told us to head home.

"I'm going to stay here," Cassidy declared but her mother shook her head.

"Go back home and rest, honey," she told her. "I know college is hard and I know this is harder but I don't think Erin would be happy to hear you cry."

"She can't hear me, can she?" Cassidy asked and she shrugged.

"They say she can," she said softly, like she was hoping. "I think its best you kids go home and rest. Try to get Amelia to eat something."

After a few minutes, Jax stood up and put his hand on Cassidy's shoulder. She looked up at him and he motioned for her to get up. She stood up and I followed her lead, telling her mother to take care and call if she needed anything. We left and Jax drove home slowly, as if he was dreading what was ahead.

"Do you think she'll listen to you?" Cassidy asked, breaking the silence. "She isn't listening to mom and dad."

"We're closer to her age," Jax said as if that was a reason she'd listen. "I'll convince her that it isn't her fault. Then I'll make her something she can't refuse."

"Good luck," Cassidy said in disbelief.

"I hope it works," I said, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm sure it will. She just needs her big brother and sister."

"You're too optimistic," Cassidy slumped in the seat.

"Stop it, Cass, I'm warning you," Jax said through gritted teeth, all his anger from the day before resurfacing. "We're all trying to think of the best and hold it together. Your fucking negativity isn't making this easier." His anger was starting to scare me. I had never seen him yell at Cassidy, let alone curse at her.

"Jax," I said softly and I noticed his face soften just a little. "Calm down."

"What the fuck," Cassidy muttered.

"Cass," I said softly so only she'd be able to hear me while Jax muttered to himself. "You need to be positive, okay? I know you're scared and I know you're angry but I need you to pull it together for your family. Amelia is in just as much danger as Erin right now if she's thinking about hurting herself."

"It's stupid if wants to hurt herself over this," Cassidy rolled her eyes. "She's making this about her when it's not about her."

"Cass," I squeezed her hand and willed her to understand. "Don't say that."