Too much

Chapter 29

Harry's POV

"What's your deal?" Louis asks with his usual amused grin on his face.

"Nothing." I snap and fall back onto the couch.

"Yeah, sure." He chuckles.

The problem is that Addie thinks she loves me, and I have no idea why. I haven't given her any reason to.

"Do you wanna beer?" Louis asks me and gets up from the chair. I nod my head before thinking.

"Actually no," I stop him. If I start drinking, I'll probably fuck everything up even more than I already have.

It's not that I meant to push Addie away, I just got... Nervous. She can't expect me be okay with this when we've only known each other for a month and a half.

Louis sits back down with a beer in his hand and takes a swig before looking at me. "Haz, I don't know what's your problem, but you better lighten up before we go to Niall's."

"What's going on at Niall's?" I ask.

"Just hanging out with the guys, all the girls are at El's."

"Oh." That is the last thing I want to do. I had to force myself to come here after I left Addie in the parking lot twenty minutes ago. Why am I such a dick?

I subconsciously pull at a loose thread in my torn jeans as Louis yells at the football game on the television. Of course, my fucking mind can't stop thinking of Addie, and that face she made when I told her I didn't want her to love me. I didn't mean it, but I really wanted to. I wish she didn't love me, because I don't want to hurt her and I know I will. I don't think she realizes that I'm no good for her, but I'm too selfish to convince her that because I want her for myself. I'm such a fucking hypocrite!

I tell her not to love me and I push her away, but the last thing I want in this world is for her to leave me. These last weeks have been a breath of fresh air compared to my previous life before I met her.

"Are you ready, mate?" Louis asks. I look at my phone to see I must've been sulking for a good twenty minutes.

"Uh, yeah." I get up and follow him out of his house.

"So what's Addie doing tonight?" Louis asks.

"Not sure, probably homework." I mutter. I consider telling Louis what she really probably doing, but he'll just make fun of me. I also don't think it's any of his business.

"So is she good in bed? I bet those lips of hers do wonders, am I right?" Louis smirks and I practically drive is off the road.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I seethe as my hands grip the steering wheel as tight as they possibly can, forcing my knuckles to turn white.

"Bloody hell, Haz, it was a joke."

"Well it wasn't a very funny one." I keep my eyes on the road and continue driving towards Niall's. I knew he was joking, but the thought of Louis thinking of my girlfriend like that makes me want to rip his brain out.

"Whatever you say, mate." Louis sneers. "You could call her and invite her over, I think we're going to meet up with the girls later."

"I'll text her." I lie. I know I should be trying to apologize to her right now, but I can't. I don't know what to tell her. As much of a douche I was, what I said was the truth. . . Well except for the part when I said I didn't want her to love me. I just said that so things would be easier.

We finally get to Niall's and I find myself sitting there in his kitchen staring at a picture of his mum and dad. Torturing myself, really. They're obviously in love, and they make it look so easy; but it's not. I'm not capable of it, that's for damn sure.