Diza One-Shots

A Mistake

My eyes flutter open to reveal an unfamiliar room. They gaze around the room, trying to remember where I am.  That is until I feel sudden movement next to me.

I look over and immediately I feel my heart stop. Not intentionally but I scream in horror at the sight. It's a random naked guy. He looks at me with a confused expression.

I look down at my body realizing that I too, was naked. I grab my clothes off the floor and put them on the fastest that I ever had in my life. I run out looking at the street signs as panic floods my body.

 At least I'm not too far from my house.

I run down the sidewalks as the memories flood in from last night. David and I had a serious fight and I left. I went to a club, and met...him. Ugh I'm so stupid! I cheated on David, I cheated on the one fucking person who actually matters!

I barge through my for some reason unlocked front door. I lock it and just collapse on the floor. Tell me this is a dream. All just some twisted dream, just a message to show I should apologize for the fight. It was my fault, I started it. And yet I just ran from it, like a coward. And I ran into some random club guy's open arms.

I could never imagine hurting David like this, and yet here I am. An awful person who cheated on an amazing guy like him. The tears I didn't realize I had been holding in all pour out like a never ending waterfall. 

This was my fault, why was I crying? Maybe it's because I know that we'll never come back from this.

 And he won't even give me a chance to explain, as soon as the words 'I cheated on you' come out he will leave. I remember his words anytime  I am away from him, the words he had spoken to Jason on his podcast. Yet I somehow had forgotten them last night. The one person who had the most trust in me, will be let down. 

He'll be gone and it'll be as if we had never existed. Everything will be eventually forgotten and never to be reminded about. Being single would probably be better for me, and anyone else, maybe then I'll stop hurting the people I love. 

I pick up the mess that I've become and slowly trudge to the shower.  

I scrub my body hard, trying to get the memories to just fade. I need to prepare my mind for the heartbreak that will be spread across his face, and mine. He's not gonna wanna be with someone like me, a cheater. Our relationship was now broken, shattered into nothing. All because of me. 

The more seconds pass by, the more and more dread fills my body. I cant keep this undying secret from him long, it's the least I can do. He can leave and find someone who won't make the same mistake I had. The mistake that can ruin everything, ever so simply.  Someone who won't ever hurt him in  the way I had, and had been. 

Every past fight we had, I caused. And yet I blamed him, and then cheated on him because of my own stupidity.

The shower water goes cold, as I stand there crying. A shower, going from hot to cold, kind of like our relationship. It went from hot undying love, to cold, forever remaining heartbreak. The thought of him not being there. Or just simply not seeing him everyday made me shudder, or maybe it had just been the ice cold water dropping down on my body as if it was attacking me for my actions. 

I miss everything he had to offer, even though he knew nothing of what was to happen. We were going to be over within seconds, I will never see his adorable smile. Feel his soft lips against mine, or his tight grip against my waist. Or hear the words that made me blush harder than a rock, ever again. I love you, was now probably going to be I hate you.

I softly smile thinking back to words he had last said to me last night.

Just know, no matter what. I'll never leave you.