Two Souls, One Fate | CS AU

Chapter 7 ~ I Am Not Afraid

(Emma's POV)
I didn't know where I was going, I just knew I had to get away from there. Letting my feet carry me away, a million thoughts seemed to consume my mind. Where will I go now? I obviously can't stay here any longer. But where will I go? What about Killian? That last thought felt like a pang to my heart but I continued running.

My vision became blurred as the tears began to fill up my eyes. But I couldn't let them fall. Not yet. I hadn't even left the school grounds when I head Killian call for me. He was running after me. Even though I don't want to, even though all I want is to let him hold me until I can focus and calm down, I quicken my pace.

Just before I am about to reach the sidewalk and go to the park--that always seemed to calm me down, not as much as the ocean but the docks would be too crowded at this hour--where I could start to figure out my plan, I feel a hand latch onto my arm, forcing me to stop. My heart is still rapidly beating my ribcage, the tears still blocking my vision, when I hear him say, "Swan, look at me."

But I can't. If I look at him, I might break down. I can't look at the fear that was obviously consuming him. It would crush me. Why was he chasing after me anyways? Maybe he's going to call the cops and have you arrested. My mind was still coming up with insane ideas that would rationalize his being here when he spoke again, "Please."

The desperation laced in his voice finally got me to face him. The cuts seem worse up close and I cringe thinking of the pain he must be in. I feel the anger rise within me once more, remembering him thrown to the ground, beaten repeatedly. But I quickly put out that spark before it could catch fire.

I try to distract myself, to not look into those blue orbs that seem to be calling to me, but I give in to the call and we lock gazes. Surprisingly, I still cannot see any fear in him, no matter how desperately I search. I still see the emotions from before. I rack my brain for something to say and just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"Are you going to turn me in?" I shook his hand from my arm, even though that's not what I want. My skin still tingled from where his grip on me once was. "Have me experimented on?"

"What?" His voice filled with confusion as his eyebrows drew together. "No! Absolutely not!" I take a step back, not trusting what he was saying. This doesn't make any sense!

"Then what?" I press on. What did he want from me?

"I-I just want answers. You have no idea how confused I am right now." He takes a step towards me. "I just want to talk to you." I stare at him, still refusing to trust the words leaving his mouth. "What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?" My anger comes back, for no reason except to block out my other emotions. "How am I supposed to trust a word you're saying right now?"

This seems to have added to his confusion, for it grew. "What are you talking about? Have I done something wrong?"

"Yes! You shouldn't want to talk to me, you should want to run for the hills, get as far away from me as possible!" Tears begin to rise once more but none fell. I take a step back as I shout my next words. "You should be afraid of me!"

His eyes soften, which add to my confusion. Taking another step forward, he says with confidence, "Well I'm not." He takes another step forward and I search his eyes for the deceit, the lies. But I come up empty.

And for the sincerity and truth to his words, a tear finally escapes my already sore eyes.

He reaches up and wipes it away, to which I flinch. His eyebrows furrow once again. "I may not have scared you away yet, but if I were to tell you everything--my past, the truth about me--you'd run. And you'd run far," I whisper, avoiding his gaze.