Our Own Battles

Chapter 16

Mera humsafar bas ek Tu
you are my only Soulmate
Nahin doosra koi aur hai
there is no one else

The way she looked into his eyes it had reached his soul. Her eyes told him how much she loved him. She may not said the words but her eyes said it all. It hurt so much, that dull ache in his heart now created an icy feeling all over his body. It took everything for Shivaay to walk out of there, giving her hand in Samar's hand, killed Shivaay a thousand times over. Shivaay just sat in his car and drove aimlessly with my direction in mind, just like his life it seemed. His heart was aching his eyes was raw and on fire with how much tears he had shed whilst driving.

He finally stopped the car. He looked around, he was back at the beach. The beach in front of her house. Sometimes the subconscious mind is really cruel. Here she was in his house, in his room but here he was at the place that he always waited for her. That's what he was doing now even waiting for her but was he really. He, himself has arranged her relationship to someone else. He was a fool, he himself was giving his heart, the love of his life, away to another man. Her words she sang to him was still ringing in his eyes. He got out the car and walked to the rock that that was his for the past three months. He sat on the rock. The sound of the waves and familiar feel of sand under his shoes was kind of soothing.

He does not know how long he sat there, when a cup of espresso appeared in front of him. The strong coffee smell was so welcoming. He looked up and saw the extended hand, it was like he was looking into a mirror. Shivaay knew he should be angry looking at the face that tried to harm his family but his heart did not let him, for once Shivaay did not want to have to fight for anything. Shivaay took the offered cup and let the warmth seep into his body. They sat in silence for a while not really knowing what to say to each other, this silence was so comforting.

"How was the engagement" asked Mahi softly, Shivaay almost did not hear him.

"Engagement" laughed Shivaay mockingly, "of all the questions you can ask, you ask how that farce was" said Shivaay almost in anger.

"It is what you wanted" said Mahi.

Shivaay laughed sarcastically "What I wanted" he repeated "I don't know what I want anymore" confessed Shivaay, "I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was giving her life back. It kills me that she can be happy with someone else. When I can't even breathe without thinking about her." There was no point hiding anymore, Shivaay was tired of everything.

Mahi was silent for a while, then he laughed "You both are idiots" said Shivaay.

That was the first time Mahi and Shivaay looked at each other.

"Idiots" said Shivaay angrily.

"Yes, idiots. Both of you. You will do everything for each other, take bullets for each other, panic when the other gets a scratch. You take all these decisions for each other thinking that you know what is best for other person, you make sacrifices you make for each other, you don't realise how much you are hurting each other in that process. You both are stubborn and have so much of ego. All you get is hurt and pain. At the end of all that both of you suffer the most. All of this can be avoided if you both just talk. Talk! Such a simple word, trust each other. Trust. The two of you together can solve everybody's problems, the two of you together is unstoppable. Yet when it comes to the two of you, why can't you to be that. It is frustrating to watch the two of you hurt, knowing that there is no one to blame but the two of you and your saviour complex. Shivaay, it is okay sometimes to think of yourself. The both of you love each other but I am willing to bet my life that you have not told the actual words to each other" said Mahi.