ruled

part 5

"don't you think it's bedtime Isabel?"  says my mother. I turn around and look at her stressed face. I nod and close my history book with a slap.  "may I take a shower before I go to bed?" I ask. "that's okay. keep it short." she says while she yawns. 

"okay." I say quietly.  I place the book underneath my arm and hurry upstairs. as I undress I look at my body. My ribs are almost popping out and my eyes look small. I should eat more, I say in my head.  and what I say I true.  because of the stress I have lately I forget to eat  sometimes. which is not smart for a girl who supposed to look pregnant..

I grab a towel and walk to the bathroom.  I yell as I almost slip because of a bottle which lies on the slippery ground.  and then I turn on the shower by placing my finger on the scanner. as usually the water is cold.  we're only aloud to take a hot shower at the end of month. we can't even choose the temperature and duration while we take a shower.

I bite my lip as the cold water hits my skin and leaves my body white and wet. I wash my body and hair. then the shower stops and I grab my towel.

I begin to dry myself and jump in my pyjamas. 

I get out of the bathroom. when I try to open my door it's locked.  I knock while I try to open it again. But it's still locked.  I slam my fists on the door.  "hey!" I yell "open it!"

I hear nothing.

then something inside my room moves. "unlock the door!" I yell.

"place your finger on the scanner." a woman says.  "what do you mean? here is no scanner."  I blurt out.

I search for a scanner but I can't find one.

"underneath the carpet." says the woman.  

I look down and plump down on my knees.  I feel under the carpet curious to find what I search.  I lift it and see the little black square.

I think about who I will meet while I close my eyes to concentrate me. another voice interrupts me. I place my finger on the scanner as fast as possible.  it begins to zoom and the door opens with a click. 

I rush inside and look at the woman who broke into my room. Her eyes are gray, her hair is darkbrown, her face looks old and I've seen her before. She is a member of the youth ministers.

I let my eyes fly through my room and stop when I see my mother.

"what are we doing here?" I ask. my mother nods her head and pulls her shoulders up. 

the minister fakes a kind smile. then she clears her throat for attention  "I'm here to talk. I want to know how you're doing.. please take a seat."

I walk towards my mother and take place on my bed next to her. the minister takes place on a chair which isn't mine. I guess she took it with her.

"Isabel could you please tell me why you break the rules all the time. I've been doing some research lately and I concluded you are the only girl on your school who does not approve the rules. "

my hearth begins to beat fast and my face getting white. please don't let her found out about my secret, please.

I pause before answering.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

I say as calm as possible. 

"your lying." she says.  I look at my mother, who looks older then normal.

"It can't be true I'm the only  person on my school who brakes the rules sometimes." I say.

"that's right. You're not the only one."  she snaps at me.  "but you just said I was the only girl...."

  "yes. the only girl. I didn't say anything about a boy."  

I pull up my eyebrows.  "who is it?" I ask. but I already know the answer.

"Dale." she says.  I knew it.

"but you still didn't answer my question.  I will ask it another time,"  she pauses for a moment and sharply looks into my eyes.  "why do you brake the rules." 

"I have no idea. it just happens.  maybe I just want to make choices sometimes." I snap.  my mother interrupts me  "Isabel!"

"well Isabel. I have a choice for you right now.

or you stop braking rules now or you'll come with me and I'll have to lock you up.. what do you choose?..."

tears fill my eyes. My mother looks shocked.  "I will stop braking the rules." I say shaking. 

"great. then we have a deal. but when you make one single mistake, you're mine."

she grabs her stuff and walks away. when she's completely gone I turn to my mother.  "mom I'm so sorry.." a sob interrupts me.  "I'll do my best I.. " another sob. "will change. "

my mother wraps her arms around me and strokes my back.

suddenly I feel how young I exactly am. and how young the other sixteen-year-old's are.  we are young. too young for babies but old enough to make choices. 

we need to stop this.