ruled

part 6

the next morning I wake up stressed. from now on I have to fit in the community perfectly. I need to stop being different. I have to get pregnant.  I have to like my school and friends. or pretend like I do. from now on I need to change myself in someone who is ruled. ruled by ministers.

I put on my uniform and make sure I do it alright.  I used to let my t-shirt fall over my skirt instead of putting it inside it. but this time I do it like the other students at my school. I also braid my hair instead of letting it down.

I stare at myself in the mirror and I'm surprised about how normal I

look. no make-up, no earrings...just a normal girl.

I put all the school books I need in the best purse I've got and drift of downstairs.  my father looks at me. "What happened to you?" he asks.   "I thought it was time to make my look more.. you know." 

he frowns and says:

"well okay. have a good day." 

"thank you." I reply

I eat my usual breakfast and clear the table when I'm done. then I walk to school. I'm nervous. How will people react on me? what will they think?  Will they even recognize me? and if they do what will they say? 

my stomach hurts and my heart beats fast as I walk next to Dale's house. He steps outside and inspects me.

"you look differently?" 

I give him a quick nod and start to walk. He runs towards me and grabs my hand. I pull back.

"what's wrong with you?

I sigh. "long story.. I had a visitor yesterday.  let's just say we need to stick to the rules from now on.."

"who came to see you?" he asks. 

"a minister. we have to hurry. we can not afford it to be late anymore.  believe me."  I say  "and I need to talk to you soon. it's important. "

the rest of the walk we don't talk to each other.

I rush into my school building and go to my first class. English. 

I take place on my usual seat. Ymke used to sit next to me but she is in labor now so I sit alone. 

I take out my books and listen to Mr. Greenheart. He gives us some gramar tips and then we have to make a couple of assignments. Nothing special though.

after English I take history.

Sharon, one of my friends,  saved a seat for me next to her in the front of the class. She knows I love history. Sadly I don't know a lot about her.  I should know almost anything..

"hey, how are you doing?"  I start.

"I'm nervous... honestly I'm terrified." she replies. 

I forgot about that! she became 16. that means that she has to get...

poor girl.

I need to comfort her.

"there's not any reason to be scared Sharon.  I promise you'll be alright.  I bet you are going to be a perfect mother! " I say lovable. 

She gives me a hug and I hug back.  "thank you.." she whispers in my ear.

the day flies away fast and so do the weeks. 3 weeks pass and I still stick to the rules. every morning I take the same route to school with Dale and then I take my classes. 

it's monday when Ymke returns to school. She looks tired but happy at the same moment. I leave her alone because teachers said she needs rest.

my first class is maths today.  I sit down on my seat next to Silvia and we talk a little. 

"you look white. don't you feel good?" she asks.  I think about it for a while. I actually don't feel good. not at all really. I feel very nauseous. "no not really.." I blurt out.

"probably morning sickness. " she says.

I start to shake.  morning sickness?  I'm not pregnant! or am I?

a soar feeling is making his way up into my throat.

I close my eyes and breathe softly.  My eyes begin to tear and my stomach turns around.  I'm going to throw up.

I grab my back and run to the toilet.  everyone stares at me. even the teachers.  I put my hand before my mouth and run faster.  I plumb down on the toilet and puke my throat out. I hold my hair back with my hands and I throw up again. 

when I'm finally done I'm out of breath. I camb my hair and clean my face before I leave the toilet.

My principle waits me up and she strokes my cheek as she gives me a fake smile. 

"morning sickness isn't it. You will be alright." she says. 

I only give her a small nod and then get out of her way back into my class.