Organised Chaos - Sherlock x Reader

XCV • 95

It was just past midnight when you arrived home. Sherlock was irritated about losing Mary and about Lestrade refusing to give him her address, and you and John followed him upstairs, trying to calm him.
"Sherlock, you have her name. You can find her address anywhere."
"But what if it's a fake?" He asked.
"Don't worry about that until you know for sure." You assured him. "You need to just go to bed. You can't possibly say you're not tired right now."
He collapsed into his chair, grumbling. "Yes, I'm tired, but there's no way I'll be able to sleep. Not until I find her."
"Sherlock, that's ridiculous."
"It's my brain! I can't slow it down, I can't even keep up with it." He looked utterly frustrated. "You have no idea how much I wish I could be normal. Just for a day."
"Oh Lord, Sherlock." You sighed. You felt bad for him. You couldn't quite imagine what it was like in his head, but you were sure it wasn't all great.
You sat on the arm of his chair. "Aren't we all just vacant, simple minded people?" You asked, smiling a little.
"No. I mean, I don't know. That was just a lie I told myself so I didn't feel so bad about being myself. But that's the last thing I want to be right now." He looked depressed, and it worried you.
"Come on Sherl. Who's going to be you if not yourself?"
"I wouldn't wish that on anybody." He replied.
"But you're a wonderful person, Sherlock." You said, looking him in the eye.
He shook his head. "No, I'm not. Day after day I try to see in myself what you see in me, but I can't. I'm blind to everything but my flaws, if there's anything other than that."
"Don't you dare tell yourself that. You are the best man I've ever met. I get that it's hard to live with your mistakes and your memories, but Sherlock, you would also do well to remember that you've saved lives. And if no one else, you've changed John and I. For the better." You ruffled his hair and smiled down at him. "I love you, Sherlock. Don't you ever forget that."
He sighed and gave a nearly imperceptible nod. "I'm sorry." He said.
"No, Sherlock. You have nothing to be sorry for. These things are not meant to be bottled up inside. You can tell me how you feel whenever. That's what friends are for."
He nodded again.
"Now go get yourself changed. You really do need to sleep."
"Alright."
You moved off the arm of his chair and he got up, disappearing into his bedroom.
You sat on the sofa, deciding it wouldn't hurt to stay a few more minutes.

He had just exited his room in his usual cotton pyjamas and blue dressing gown when there was a knock on the door.
Sherlock opened it, exhaustion and irritation evident in his features.
Greg stood there, his hand poised to knock again.
"Oh hello. I'm glad I got here before you went to bed-"
"Me? Sleep?" Sherlock cut him off, sarcastically.
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to give you this." He handed Sherlock a slip of paper.
You got up and read over his shoulder.
"Mary's address." Greg added, when he'd gotten no response.
"I figured. What makes you so submissive now?"
Greg looked embarrassed. "You know I always believe you. I just- I didn't want all the other officers seeing that." He spoke quickly.
Sherlock rolled his eyes. "Peer pressure. Conforming is not worth the effort. Trust me, I have an older brother." He shut the door.
"I have an older brother too." You smiled.
"You've had both ends of the spectrum. John is a rarity, and you're lucky he's the one you got to keep." He replied.
He put the paper down on his desk and turned back to you. "Goodnight (F/N)."
You smiled. "Goodnight. Oh, and Sherlock? Tonight wasn't all bad was it?"
"Not entirely." He managed a partial smile.

******

40c Arnold Road, Northolt

That was the address Lestrade had given you.

"So what's your plan?" You asked Sherlock.
To your relief, he had actually gotten some sleep and he looked much better now. It was just past 8:00 and you were sitting at the dining table together. You were eating, but Sherlock had just shoved his plate aside and continued thinking. He opened his eyes when you spoke.
"It's still formulating. We are going to have to break some rules for the greater good."
You squinted at him, your eyebrows drawn together. "What kind of rules?"
"The ones that say a person shouldn't be breaking and entering." He said, sheepishly.
"Oh come on Sherlock. There's got to be a better way."
"Not really. A ruse won't work as she obviously knows what we look like. It's not like we have any intention of harming anything. It's just for information."
"But it's still illegal!" You protested.
"I've done it before." He replied.
"And you didn't get in trouble?"
"Nope. Lestrade was too busy thanking me for catching a serial killer to even think about arresting me too." He grinned.
You rolled your eyes. "I don't know about this."
"I wouldn't be offended if you stayed behind. That way if I do get in trouble you won't be part of it."
"But you know I want to come." You complained.
"Well then you're gonna have to help me out. If we get in trouble, I'll take all the blame. I promise."
"And how would you ensure that?"
"I don't know. Say I forced you into coming. Don't worry about it."
"Sherlock, you're suggesting we break the law. It's something to worry about."
"Do you have a better idea?" He asked.
You sighed. After a moments silence, you shook your head. "No."
"I'm going to give you another chance now to stay back."
He looked at you earnestly.
"This case may very well be personal to you and it will most definitely be dangerous. I just want you to know that I won't be upset or disappointed if you stay home."
You smiled. "Thank you Sherlock, I appreciate it, but you already know I want to come."
"Alright. If you're sure, I'm not going to stop you. I just wanted to make sure you knew it was okay. We'll leave at dusk."
"Okay." You replied.

******

The cab dropped you off on Arnold Road at 8:03 pm and you and Sherlock walked the rest of the way to the spacious block of flats.
"Thankfully C is ground level, otherwise this would be much harder." Sherlock stated.
"I still can't believe we're doing this." You muttered, following him around to the back of the building.
He stopped in front of a back exit and inspected the lock. Pulling a small instrument from the pocket of his coat, he picked the lock effortlessly.
"Should I be concerned about how easily you pick locks?" You asked.
He turned without opening the door and smiled. "I'm not going to answer that question." He replied. He tilted his head and watched you for a moment.
"Something wrong?" You asked. "Other than the fact that you're about to break-"
He leaned down and kissed you, cutting you off.
Your eyes fell shut as his hand came up and rested against your cheek, his mouth soft and lingering on yours. His other hand was pressed gently against the back of your neck, keeping you close. Even after he let go, you stood still with your eyes closed. When you finally opened them, he was smiling at you.
"Wh-what was that for?" You stuttered a little.
"In case I don't survive this." He grinned.
"You twit!" You punched his shoulder.
"I'm just joking!" He defended himself, rubbing his arm where you'd hit him. "It was simply because I love you. No more, no less."
You smiled. "Ich liebe dich auch. (I love you too.)" You said, quietly.
"You ready?" He asked.
You nodded.
"Dann lass uns gehen. (Let's go then)"
He turned the doorknob and it swung open silently.