Love Happens: The Story of Stella and Jose

Am I Good Enough?

CHP 7

Stella's pov:

I wake up today wishing for a great day at school. I go into my bathroom and take a quick shower, then dry off and began to search for an outfit. I decide on a floral top, a white skirt and my tan sandals. I let my hair out natural and just add a little mousse to my hair, which allowed the shine of my curls to show through. Once I'm done, I grab my Hello Kitty backpack and iPhone. It's only 7:10, so I have time for breakfast.

I make myself a crepe and fill it with Nutella, bananas, and strawberries, take a pic of my food and post it on Instagram. And then, eat it quickly with a glass of orange juice.

I place my plate in the sink, and noticed that 10 minutes had past and the bus was here.

I walk out the door, and up to the bus and take my usual seat next to the window, by the front. I continue to hope that today goes well with no trouble.

Once the bus stops, I go to my first period class. I walk at a steady pace, trying not to be late... but with this traffic in the hallway it becomes a challenge. Finally, I make it to my classroom and take my seat. My teacher, and the rest of the students, walk in and class begins for the day.

So far my day has been horrible. I haven't smiled, and I tried to, but I can't. My insecure side is controlling me. Paige and her gang didn't make it any better, they picked on me again like always. They kicked me and called me names like 'worthless', 'fat' and 'ugly'. They pulled my hair, and let me fall on the ground. All I could do was cry because I can't tell anyone, because no one will care.

No one will ever care.

I decided to help myself out and listen to music. I grab my phone and unlock it and turn to Pandora. I click on the station for Little Mix. They are a girl band that I listen to and I love them, they all sing wonderfully!

A song by them comes on called 'Little Me'. I plug in my headphones and listen.

"She lives in a shadow of a lonely girl

Voice so quiet you don't hear a word

Always talking but she can't be heard

You can see it there if you catch her eye

I know she's brave but its trapped inside

Scared to talk but she don't know why

Wish I knew back then what I know now

Wish I could some how go back in time and listen to my own advice

I'd tell her to speak up,

Tell her to shout,

Talk a bit a louder,

Be a bit prouder,

Tell her she's beautiful,

Wonderful,

Everything she doesn't see.

You gotta speak up,

You gotta shout out,

And know that you right now you can be beautiful,

Wonderful,

Anything you wanna be,

Little Me"

I love this song, and now I'm in tears. I wish I could tell myself that I am wonderful, beautiful, and more.

But no. I always out my self down, by listening to others. I let them bring me down, and I let them say what they want to say.

What good is that if I end up crying? I end up hurt and more insecure? Maybe the bullies are right about me... I might be fat and worthless. Who would love me? I am a fat ugly red crayon, and nothing more. I am crushing on someone who is perfect, and he deserves someone who is perfect and beautiful. Jose deserves someone who doesn't cry everyday, someone who has confidence in herself.

Then  I start to think... am I good enough for him? Could this be love... or is this just a crush?

Jose's pov:

Today...

Today, was just a day where all I wanted to do was home sleep in bed. I was a little late to school, most of my classes. Now, I just made it to football practice, on time for once. I got my gym uniform on, and ran laps with the guys. We had to do push ups, sits ups and jumping jacks, which took a good 2 hours. Then we were sent to the showers.

I step into the shower, and relax. While thinking about the rest of the day. Then step out and dry off with my towel.

"Hey, Jose, you alright man? You've been quiet..." My football buddy, Ryan, asks me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just not in a good mood," I say.

He nods, and continues on. Now I'm off to my face my father, as well as my boxing practice. Hopefully I won't be late to it, otherwise my father would be pissed...

I walk out the locker room and out to the hallway, thenthrough the front door of the school. I start to walk towards to my fathers boxing gym.

I just want to get this practice over with and get home to rest. I start to ponder on a lot. Like my life  and I wonder how my life is, and how it affects me.

I got the gym on time, thankfully. If I hadn't, I would not hear the end of it from my father. I walked into the gym and went over to the locker room and changed in to my boxing gear. I walked out the locker room and I met my father as he was waiting outside the ring for me

"Well, Jose, get in the ring, and we can start," He said with no emotion, as normal.

I nod, and head into the ring and begin to do what he tells me to do as a warm up. He goes in as well, and he has me work on my punches. I punch left and right and throw hard kicks, in between.

After awhile he has me go to the punching bag, and work on my skills, even more. I plug in my head phones and tap the Pandora app on my Galaxy s4. The song 'Demons' by Imagine Dragons comes on.

"When the days are cold,

And cards all fold,

And the saints we see are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail,

And the ones we hail are the worst if all,

And the bloods we run stale

I wanna hide the truth,

I wanna shelter you,

But with the beast inside,

There's no where we can hide

No matter what we breed we still are made of greed

This is my kingdom come,

This is my kingdom come,

When you feel my heat look in to my eyes,

It's where my demons hide

Don't get to close it's dark inside,

It's where my demons hide

Curtains call it's the last of when the lights fade out all the sinners crawl"

As the song plays, it reminds me of myself. I have a horrible past. I never had and never will let anyone in. I never talk about it or mention it with anyone. I lost all of my trust with people. I learned the hard way that you can't always trust people.

So, when it comes to love and loving someone, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of losing that peson. That they won't love me truly because of my past. That they will only want me for sex and looks, just because I'm an athlete. I then start to think am I good enough for Stella?

Am I good enough for a person that beautiful? Worthy of having her, being her love? Good enough for her to the point she could love me for me? Could she accept my past and see the good in my heart?  Look beyond my past and love me, Jose, the person?