Hot Streak // (BTS Jikook)

Nine

My heart wasn't racing, but when I went to swipe the screen and accept his phone call, my finger was ice cold and my voice was a bit shaky upon speaking.

"Hel-" I coughed, my voice breaking instantly. "Hello?" I tried my hardest to sound as though my voice was a lot deeper and mature than it actually was.

I hated my voice.

There was a puff of air into the receiver, then some muffled giggles. I felt my cheeks get hot.

"What's up, Kookie?"

It was the first time I'd heard his voice. It was a lot higher than I pictured it in my head, but it fit him so perfectly. It was so cool. It was effortless. It was so... Jimin.

"So, tomorrow's the day, hey?" I said calmly, trying to steady my breathing. I rolled over in bed until I was on my stomach; I pulled a pillow under my chest and sat in the darkness, the only light coming from the occasional flickers of brightness from my screen.

"Yeah." Is all he said back, quietly too.

Almost too quiet.

I bit my lower lip, "Are you alright? Don't you want to come home? Or are you having too much fun in Vancouver?" I asked excitedly, trying to lift his spirit.

"It's not that. I am so ready to come home." He answered promptly.

"What's up, then?" I quipped.

He paused for a moment, I had to check my phone to see if we were disconnected or something.

"Did you mean what you said about missing me?" He finally asked. I could hear him exhale sharply, as though he was holding it in for a while.

I felt my hands go cold, and I quickly adjusted myself so that I was sitting on the bed, my feet dangling to the floor.

I couldn't help but stutter a bit when I answered, desperately trying to find the words to say in order to not sound like an idiot.

In the time that I'd known Jimin, I became almost expectant of him talking to me every day. I looked forward to it, even. When I woke up in the mornings, I would quickly check the phone, eager to see if there was a message from him.

I'd get swirling in my stomach when I'd see a good morning text from him, and a small sinking feeling when there was nothing.

So how could I answer Jimin's question so easily, without looking crazy, about how I felt; the truth would scare him, I'm sure. And I didn't want to risk that.

How could I summarize all of my feelings towards him with a simple yes or no? Part of me wished I never told him that I missed him at all – that way I wouldn't be a nervous wreck, scrambling to find a way to explain that yes, although we haven't ever met physically, I feel like I've known you my whole life.

Yes, even though I've only seen pictures of you through Snapchat, which you've sent me, that yes... I miss you because you're not here.

"It's like being homesick for a place that doesn't exist..." I mumbled incredibly quietly. The words just came out; I didn't even have time to think about what I was saying.

"Wait, what?" He immediately asked.

"Yeah, I meant it." I said sternly, with a certain shaky bravery in my voice. It was too far down the road now for me to chicken out.

Namjoon was right, I needed to seize the moment. If Jimin didn't feel the same, well then, I'd have my answer, and when he got his phone back that'd be the end of it.