Murphamy: A Happy Ending

Chapter 4 - Guy Crush

Murphy's POV

"Murphy?" I hear someone say. I slowly look up and see Bellamy, a concerned look on his face. He kneels down in front of me and looks down at the ground.

"I'm so sorry about Finn and Clarke. I know that they've been assholes to you for a while. I am so sorry I haven't done anything about it." He says, his voice full of shame and hurt. I feel so bad for making him feel this way. It looks like he's genuinely sorry.

"It's fine. I probably deserved it." I say, sniffing and wiping my face. He looks up at me and into my eyes. He puts a hand on my shoulder.

"You never deserve to be treated that way. I should have never let them treat you like that. You're too important to me to be treated by my friends that way." He blurts. Important? I'm important to him? My face must have showed my confusion because he took his hand away and looked away, clearing his throat.

"I mean... you don't deserve to be treated that way. No one does." He says, blushing after realizing what he said earlier. I can feel myself blush a little as well.

"Thanks, I guess. I guess I just thought that you would be a jerk like them." I reply. I look out across the water of the pond and Bellamy sits down next to me, a little closer than I thought he would. We sit in silence for a little while. It's nice. Then the thought pops in my head. How much did he hear? Does he know?

"Uh... how much did you hear?" I ask him, nervous for his answer. He stays quiet for a second before looking over at me.

"All of it." He says, his eyes scanning my face. Shit. I look down at the ground and rub the back of my neck, a nervous habit of mine.

"Oh." I say, completely embarrassed. "I'm sorry." I feel a hand on my knee. I look back to him and he looks into my eyes, a small smile on his face.

"Hey. It's alright. You don't have to be embarrassed." He says, his voice soothing me. I feel my cheeks get hot. I'm certain my face is bright red right now.

"Why are you being nice to me? I'm sure your friends aren't cool with it. Why would you endanger you position as leader of the school for me?" I ask him, changing the subject from my embarrassment to something else. He takes his hand off my knee and runs it through his hair.

"I don't know. I just don't like the way that they treat you. Just because you're gay doesn't make you bad. I guess, I don't know. I always kind of liked you. I think you're interesting." He says, blushing madly. This boy is driving me crazy.

"Are you gay, Bellamy?" I blurt. I didn't even think before I said it. I just said it. He tensed up and stayed quiet. Fuck, I messed up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" He cuts me off.

"No, it's fine. I just- I don't know." He looks up at me. "I don't know. Been a question I've been asking myself for a long time." I nod. I remember when I was there. Questioning every move I made, every interaction with every guy and girl. It took me a while to figure it out, even longer to accept it. I'm glad that he trusts me enough to tell me. Maybe that means something.

"I understand." I tell him. "I should probably get home. My mom is gonna go off." I say with a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. He lets out a small giggle. We stand up and start walking towards the direction of Raven's house. I would have walked home, but I lived a couple miles away and I should be home before 10 or my mom will have my head. We find Bellamy's car and get in, buckling in before he pulls out. He drives me to my house in silence. When we get there, he turns to me. I look at him, scanning his face. He wants to say something.

"What is it, Bellamy?" I ask.

"Just- I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" He says, more like a question. I nod and he smiles.

"Thanks for taking me." I say, getting out of the car.

"No problem." He says, waiting for me to go inside before pulling away in his car. I close the door and set my keys down on the table.

"Where have you been?" I hear. I look up and see my mom sitting on the couch. She's angry. I can tell.

"I was out with a friend." I lie. She stands up and walks over to me, crossing her arms in front of her.

"You better not have been out with some boy. I told you how I feel about that." She scowls, referring to her disapproval of my sexuality.

"I wasn't. How many times do I have to tell you?" I sass, instantly regretting it. I feel a sharp pain in the back of my head as she hits me.

"Go to your room." She says flatly. I do as she says and close my door. I pull off my shoes and sit down on my bed. I pull out my phone and text Emori, telling her every detail about what happened that night.

Bellamy's POV

"Mom, I'm home!" I call through the house, throwing my keys on the table.

"I'm in the kitchen! Dinner's almost ready." She calls back. I walk into the kitchen and see my mom standing in front of the stove, my little sister, Octavia, sitting on the counter next to her. I walk up to her and give my mom a kiss on her forehead, then I stand in front of Octavia and pick her up off the counter. She wraps her legs around my waist as I stand next to my mother, leaning against the counter.

"How was the party?" My mom asks, her eyes still on the stove.

"It was fine. Not a lot happened." I lie. I felt bad lying, but she didn't need to know the details.

"Big brother!" Octavia cheers.

"Yes, Octavia!" I say, copying her tone. She giggles.

"I was at school today and I got an A on my math test! Are you proud of me?" She says cheerfully. Her cute little face has a huge smile on it.

"That's great, O! Good job!" I tell her, giving her a hug. She laughs some more and hugs me back, wrapping her tiny arms around my neck. My mom laughs.

"Alright, you two. Dinner's ready. Octavia, why don't you help Bellamy set the table?" She says. I set Octavia down, then reach up into the cupboard, pulling out three plates and handing them to her. She skips over to the table and lays them out as I walk over with the silverware. My mom brings the food over and we all sit down at the table. We eat our dinner, Octavia, like always, having a story to tell. We laugh and talk. When we're done, I help my mom clean up as Octavia skips into the living room to watch tv. I put the last dish away, then walk up to my room, pulling my phone out of my pocket. I open my messages and stare at Murphy's name. I just think for a little bit, staring at the name on my screen.

"Fuck it." I say under my breath. I change the name from "Murphy" to "Guy Crush". I did it. I have a crush on Murphy. I finally admitted it fully to myself. Why not go a step further?

Bellamy: Hey, Murphy

I wait for a reply. I get one a few moments later.

Guy Crush: What's up?

My heart speeds up. The butterflies show up in my stomach.

Bellamy: I just wanted to ask if you wanted to come over after school tomorrow?

He starts texting, then the bubble goes away. He deleted it. It shows up again and a message pops up.

Guy Crush: Sure.

Yes!!!

Bellamy: Cool. I'll see you tomorrow.

I put my phone down and close my eyes. I think about what I'm going to do. I just invited my crush over to hang out. What have I done?