Sweatshirts in July *Solby*

July 4th

28 days 

 Colby is here again. We haven't talked much but I can see it in Colby's eyes. He wants to help me. I've tried to tell him not too but just like everyone else he doesn't listen. I'm like a scar that keeps getting scratched open, a parasite, I'm someone who can't be saved and I only hurt the people who try to help me. I have watched my parents cry for me and loose themselves because I thrive off the pain I inflict on myself. I have seen old friends, siblings, nurses, doctors, and more try to help and only hurt themselves in the end. I'm an artist who tries to create their own warning sign but it seems no one reads it. I've tried to warn him, I have. My plan is in motion so whether he listens or not the end is near for me. Freedom is within my grasp. Soon. 

 "Sam?" The simple question caused the blonde boy to look up to see his visitor staring right at him. A small smile rested on Colby's lips as he leaned back in his chair savoring the way Sam's eyes glowed with curiosity. Colby wasn't dumb, the act of Sam not wanting to be his friend was abundant but deep down Colby knew Sam couldn't resist. Everyone needs someone and Sam has been lonely for too long, "Yes Colby?" Sam asks as he waited patiently for the other boy to answer. Sam could see his eyes light up as he played nervously with his many rings on his fingers, 

 "Mom said we could leave the room today. Would you like to go for a walk in the gardens?" Sam nodded a yes as he stood up, careful to pull down his sweatshirt sleeves down farther, as he looked up to Colby who followed his lead, "It has been a while since I have been down in the garden, you want to lead the way?" Sam asked as Colby nodded already heading out of the room not missing the sound of the little excitement seeping through Sam's voice. Sam walked with a small pep in his step as he followed Colby's lanky form unable to bury his obvious excitement. Sam may pretend to love sitting in his room by himself for days on end but anyone could tell it was an act. Sam missed the sun on his face and the false sense of freedom outside gave him. When he first got to YT he spent almost everyday outside, that was until he picked a rose and used its thorn as a substitute blade. His voices were always louder outside, always more commanding due to the feeling of being out and about. After that Sam pretended he loved his room and nothing else just waiting for the day he would be let back out again. He never let him self stoop as low as to ask when he could go, so today was surely his lucky day, 

 "Alright, just through this door!" Colby announced as he pushed the it open, the summer's dry heat hit them softly as the two boys stepped out. Sidewalk paths came from different ways all connecting to one giant loop. In the middle was a garden which contained the roses Sam so long ago use to always sit by. Colby followed Sam's eyesight noticing the roses as he shook his head sadly, 

 "My mom told me to keep you away from those." Colby muttered as he grabbed Sam's shoulder and steered him towards the circled path. Colby's mother's words echoed in his head, the story of how bad Sam's voices were. The blonde boy was broken and the thorn was just more proof to his instability, "The voices never seem to be loud when you are around." Colby jumped at Sam's voice but quickly recovered as he tried to understand what Sam was saying, "Excuse me?" Sam only sighed slightly as he took in a deep breath of fresh air, 

 "The voices. My head. The thing that tells me I'm not good enough and to make gashes on my skin to feel better. The thoughts are always circling in my head some days they louder than others but they have been consistently quieter with you around. Don't get me wrong, they're still there but I don't know why they get so quiet." Sam rambled on as the sun warmed up his face, leaving him with slightly pink cheeks. Colby only shrugged to afraid to say something hoping Sam would continue opening up. Nothing. The blonde focused now on the way the grass moved under the warm breeze and tried to memorize the sound of the bird's songs. Sam believed that once he ended it life would be just like this. He would cease to exist and the world he thought was wonderful would be ten times more lovely. The song he was listening to would have a longer melody and a sweeter tune. The grass would sway lighter and happier. Sam knew deep down that he had no affect on the birds or the breeze but that didn't stop him from listening to the voices that told him different. He was toxic and soon he would relieve the world from his toxins, 

 "Sam?" Colby noticed the blonde had stopped walking as his eyes seem to glaze over, lost in thought. Colby reached out and grabbed a hold of Sam's hand giving it a gentle squeeze, "Want to tell me what you are thinking about Golbach?" Colby questioned as Sam pulled himself away. Sam shook his head slowly as Colby shrugged, "Alright then, let's keep walking it is good exercise." 

 Colby quieted the voices but they were always there whether Sam wanted them or not. The sweet, enticing, disgusting words were like a child's lullaby that lulled Sam into there arms and made him do what they wanted, willingly. Colby maybe trying to save Sam but Sam knew that it was impossible to save someone from themselves. 

 The boy in the sweatshirt let the sun burn him as his thoughts scorched his brain. The messy haired boy watched the blonde from a distance praying he was making some kind of a difference. 

A/N: What do you guys think of this chapter? I wrote this on a whim with no clear plan so I hope it is up to your guys standard. Anyways thank you all so much for reading, commenting, and voting, it means the world to me!!! ~Nightmare