Sweatshirts in July *Solby*

July 7th

25 days

 Tonight Colby announced he is spending the night. He walked in with a sleeping bag and a smile on his face. I don't understand why Doctor Brock let him or why he would want to sleep in this white room to begin with. I didn't even have a say in the ordeal. I am stuck here all night with him. I can't do it. I'm going to have to listen to his childlike wonder and how he is going to save me all night. He has got to realize that no matter what he does it isn't going to help. This will only agitate the voices more and god the want to scratch my wrists with is so strong. I thought he was making it better, but god it is so much worse. The feeling of wanting to end it never disappears and the voices have learned to scream louder than Colby's voice. Soon. Soon. Soon. That is all I can write. Soon. Soon. Soon.

The clock was slowly ticking down as the two boys sat in silence, one stared at the wall the other stared down at the note book in his lap. The walls seemed to move in closer in hopes of catching a small whisper but nothing but even breathing filled the room. Colby had an idea of what they could to do but was too afraid to break the delicate silence plus he wasn't sure of how keen Sam was to break YT's rules. Deciding to finally say it Colby opened his mouth only to be interrupted by Sam, "What are you suppose to do at sleep overs, I- I've never had one before." Sam didn't know why he asked the question but he was also a tad curious at the answer. In his mind a sleepover was a time where his voices stayed up and whispered enticing thoughts into the darkened room tempting Sam, but the blonde knew he was wrong. He was fucked up after all,

 "Well you do a lot of things, you can do prank calls, truth or dare, spin the bottle, or just lay in the dark and talk about the unknowns in the world. Really they are just times where you can spend time with your best friends..." Sam rolled his eyes at the response, liking his version of a sleep over much more than Colby's,

 "We aren't friends Brock so why are you spending the night here?" Colby only shrugged not at all bothered by Sam's question, "Of course we're friends Sam. Anyways I have an idea of what we can do." Sam ignored the friends part of the question and nodded, "Alright I'll bite. What do you want to do?" Colby leaned forward in his chair as he busied himself with straightening his sleeping back on the floor, 

 "Well I have to ask, are you okay with breaking YT rules?" Sam nodded his head quickly, he was one to never be fond of rules yet he followed the anyways. This was his chance to have some kind of adventure before his thoughts started screaming again so he was going to take it, "Okay then. I was thinking we could explore the roof." Sam tilted his head in confusion, there had always been a lock on the door's entrance to the roof as there are also locks on the limited windows, don't want patients escaping. Colby read Sam's confused face and brought up a key he had in his pocket, "I've thought of mostly everything, you ready?" Sam nodded, as the two boys got up, Sam subconsciously pulled his sweat shirt sleeves down as Colby put on a black sweat shirt of his own on. The two boys tip toed out of the room and quietly walked down the emptied hallway. 

 They were currently on the third floor so their hike consisted of many stares and hiding from the many nurses that were on duty. The two giggled and ran around like kids, each of their hearts pounding with adrenaline and excitement. Once they made it to the locked door Colby pulled out the key and unlocked it, "You wanna go first?" Colby asked praying that when he opened it the door didn't go off with some kind of alarm system. Sam nodded as Colby slowly opened the door waiting for a trill sound exposing them.  None came as the two walked through, Colby checking for alarm systems periodically, "Stop checking Colby. You should know that this hospital isn't the most high tech, they don't have silent alarms or anything." Sam deadpanned as he watched the anxious brunette trying to play out, "Ha, you thought I was looking for alarms and shit? Nah, I was just looking around at the view." Sam only stifled a giggle as the two boys wandered towards the edge. 

 The two boys had made it to the top just in time to see the sun set. The sky a hazy blue fading into purple, orange, and bright red. The sky preparing to turn into an inky black. The red is what caught Sam's eye. It reminded him of the blood that spilled over his arms when he drew lines or when he dreamed of making deeper cuts. Colby was entranced by the beauty of it all, Sam was entranced by the voices that seemed to whisper instead of yell. The world faded to nothing but the ledge and the red in the sky. 

 Stand up on the ledge and jump. It will feel like you're flying. You've always have dreamed of flying Sammy. Just jump, it would be so simple, and imagine the blood that would seep from your body on the ground. True art work. 

 The voices were everything, the only thing that mattered. Staring at the red and dreaming of birds Sam slowly lifted his leg. His foot found the edge as he pulled himself up and stood. He looked down at the ground below him, the wind tousling his blonde hair. The voices seemed to quiet as he lifted one foot as if to just walk over the edge. In minutes it felt like the earth was rushing towards him, a small smile on his face as he waited to hit the ground, 

 "Sam?" Sam jumped at Colby's sudden voice, pulling his eyes away from the sky and quieting his fantasies and voices. He could have jumped, it had been so easy but instead he was standing on the roof next to Colby, his hands hidden in his sleeves shaking. His lips moved to murmur one word that had gotten so sick of saying, soon. It was carried away by the wind as Colby and him stood next to one another, each wrapped up in there own version of beauty. 

A/N: I hope you guys like this. This chapter was fun to write, I can already imagine the reactions :p, not going to lie I kind of got a little emotional writing Sam's day dream of jumping off. As always, soon. ~Nightmare