flower crowns // l.s.

Epilogue

January, two years later.

Louis inhaled deeply and felt his nerves start to take over again. It happened every time, but he knew that when it started, when he got out there, he would feel fine. He looked down at the book in his hand, and then at his notes, and then he inhaled deeply when he heard his name over the speakers. He stood up and walked out behind the curtains with a wide smile on his face when he heard the whistles and claps. He didn't look out as he situated himself behind the podium and put his notes and book down on it. When he did he felt overwhelmed when he saw everyone standing and clapping for him. He leaned into the microphone.

"Thank you, thank you. You can all sit now, by the way," he laughed out. The lights shining on him made it hard to look at everyone, so he grabbed his microphone from the stand and took his book with him and sat at the edge of the stage, where the lights weren't pointing directly at him. "Just gonna sit," he said with another laugh. Then he sighed. "You all know me from this book." He looked down at it. "You know Harry from it. And you're here because you probably see yourself in it.

"Many have told me how much it's helped them become who they are because it made them see how short life really is. I'm no writer, trust me. I just put my feelings on paper and it became something that I'm so deeply proud of. Harry was the kind of guy who gave so much because he knew what it was like to have so little. He changed me in the best way a person could be changed.

"Today is the day we met. We were both sick and need cough medicine," Louis felt himself shaking his head in fondness at the memory. "This day, many years ago, my life started to change and form into annoying coincidences for me at the time. Now, looking back, I see that it was just fate going, 'stop being a fucking idiot and be nice to the guy.' I know you've already read this, but I just wanted to . . . to think of him. And to think of the others who were taken away too young from us.

"When this book started to sell, I wondered why. Why did people want to read about a sappy love that ended devastatingly? And then I received mail. Just a few at first, but I opened one and read it, and . . . and this boy said that it gave him the courage to come out to his friends and family, because he didn't want to waste time being afraid to love." Louis stopped and felt himself choke up a little bit. He bit his lower lip and looked down at the floor before looking out to the crowd again. "I got more mail. Some if it said that they were in a secret relationship because they didn't want their families to be disappointed or disgusted, but when they read this, it pushed them to do it.

"I'm not praising myself, by any means," he said, waving a hand. "I'm just wanting to say that it's okay to love. Love is beautiful and magical. Don't be afraid to love. As many of you know, people are still killed and shunned for loving and being who they are. Because of that, I've been successfully creating shelters. People have been donating and donating. Celebrities have been putting their money to this, raising close to a million dollars, because we need to step up and protect love. Because life is so bloody short--and to force yourself to hold back those feelings because you know someone that thinks it's wrong only damages you.

"Love should always win. I've told many people that if you don't think it's safe for you to come out, that you shouldn't, and that's awful. No young person should have to hide their true selves like that and live in fear, but with this, with these shelters, I'm hopefully giving them a chance."

Clapping arose from all around the theater he was speaking in, and he smiled to himself and looked down at his book. "I didn't want Harry's loss to be for nothing. Harry was the purest soul you could ever meet and I miss him everyday. It hurts knowing that I was so close to marrying him but couldn't. So please don't be afraid to love. It's the most extraordinary thing that's ever happened to me. To my LGBTQ friends: keep fighting. We've come a long way from how things were, and we're getting closer to where we wanna be. Today we should remember the people we've loved that are no longer with us. We should do the things we want in life in honor of them.