flower crowns // l.s.

12½

"I think you should ask him out," Zayn said as he flipped through some catalog that Louis didn't care enough about to see what it was.

"I dunno, though. Don't even know if I like him, really. Haven't been able to like anyone, not after . . ."

"Matt, yeah, I know," Zayn says with a huff, tossing his magazine down on the counter. Louis watches, and quirks a brow when he saw it was about art. "That son of a bitch is still ruining your life, and you've been broken up for how long? Seven or eight months? Mate, don't let this guy get in the way of you meeting people and being happy. I see the way you look at Harry and the way you talk about him in the text messages makes me believe you like him. You're kind to him, Louis, and I haven't seen you be kind in a while." Louis scoffed sarcastically. "No offense, though. Sorry. I just think that you're . . . scared. And maybe you're confusing that for doubting how much you like Harry...?"

Louis sighed deeply, glancing out the windows to see if Harry came in to work yet. Louis always clocks Harry in at 9 a.m., but today he's thirty minutes late. "So you think my being scared of pursuing another relationship is getting mixed up with how I feel about someone? Possibly, that could be it. But, like, we're becoming friends. I don't know if I want just a friendship or something more. God, Zayn, you should meet this kid. I'm scared of bruising him when I just graze his hand; he's such a tall and lanky little bastard, and I'm still scared that me, someone 5'9—" Zayn snorts. "—will hurt him."

"I've met him. Briefly. He seemed a bit toned, though. I could see he has some muscle in his arms, Jesus. For someone that just sells flowers, he's got some arms. I wouldn't think of him as fragile physically, Lou. It's clear he's not."

Louis pushes the feeling of being a bit territorial away when Zayn mentions his muscular arms. You weren't there to feel those muscular arms when they clung to me last night. Ha. Then Louis thinks about why Harry had clung to him and frowns. "Emotionally he's fragile, I believe. He's like a pretty China doll--drop it once on accident and then you're sad and spending all your time on trying to glue pieces back together that you didn't mean to break; and you can't find what goes where, so you're left with a doll that has mix-matched pieces and holes." Zayn looks confused; Louis huffs. "I'm trying to say that I'm a mess. I could hurt him without even knowing, break him, and then I'll spend my time trying to put him back together, but it wouldn't be the same. I just can't break him if I'm unable to put him back together."

Zayn looks thoughtful, a surprised look on his face. Louis feels vulnerable and surprised, too. Normally it takes a lot for him to say how he feels, even to one of his best friends, so for him to just open up and say something like that at work means a lot. And he stared at Zayn, waiting for what he's going to say, because it's going to mean something to Louis. He's put so much into letting out how he feels, so he needs Zayn to say something important. Also, he didn't really know how much he thought about Harry until now. How much he's starting to care for him.

"When we went to that party together, you and me, do you remember what you said?" Louis shook his head. "Now, call me crazy, but I just believe people speak the truth when they're downright pissed, so when you were outside on the ground, crying about a ferret, you mentioned that you were scared of being alone. Living life without a significant other by your side. So Louis, can't break the doll if you haven't even picked it up yet. Ask him out."

Louis releases a soft sigh, fingers drumming against the front desk. His eyes follow a man leaving one of the back rooms, looking quite unpleasant as he exits the building. And then he spots Harry. Cute Harry with his long hair, a ridiculous shirt on, and then he's nearly knocking into the large man. Louis unintentionally tenses when the bald man stops to glare at Harry. His eyes are wide and his pale skin make his eyes stand out, even from where Louis' standing, before they're both walking away from each other. He exhales, but can't stop the smile from forming. Zayn rolls his eyes when Louis looks at him. "What?" He asks innocently, starting to release a laugh. "Don't look at me like that, man. I'm gonna go smoke, and you're going to stay here and mind your damn business," he says, quite cheerfully, practically forgetting what him and Zayn were talking about previously.

Now walking towards the door, he tugs his pack of cigarettes out and a lighter, lighting up almost as soon as he stepped out the door. And there Harry was, bent over, and Louis almost choked.

+ + +

Louis has a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he does not like. It feels like his heavy heart has sunken into his stomach and is camping there for a while. He's not spying, no, won't ever admit that. Just curiously looking. Outside. At Harry. Who looks very happy to see someone. It's a girl, and that has Louis' stomach twisting even more. 

"So we're spying now?" 

Louis jumps but doesn't turn his head. Madeline was never good at being quiet. He decides to ignore her and grip at the plant he's hiding behind even harder. The blonde girl is touchy. Harry doesn't seem to be minding, either. Louis' been watching the two for about fifteen minutes, and what he's assumed so far is that they are either friends or screwing and Louis really believes that they're screwing. 

"Is that Harry?" Madeline is quick to realize that she needs to be quiet and hides with Louis. "Ooh, with a girl." She pauses before gasping. "You don't think they're...?"

"I do," Louis mutters out.

"But he's—"

"Apparently not too gay, it seems."

"Oh, Jesus, Louis. If he was a little bit straight, he would've been all over me," says Madeline.

Louis tilts his head to look at her disapprovingly. "He's a gentleman; and not a blind one, at that, so tone down the cockiness." When she mutters something about him being jealous, he just shakes his head and steps out behind the fern. "I'm going out there."

Madeline reaches out for him; he swats her hand away. "Louis. What? No, don't do that."

"Shut up, I'm curious, so I'm going," he firmly says, tugging at the hem of his black sweater. He begins to walk to the door with a cigarette out, using that as an excuse to be outside, and before he exited, he heard Madeline say, "don't be rude." Louis didn't know if he could stop that or not. 

"Oh, I'm telling you, Harry," the blonde girl says once Louis is outside. "It was the funniest thing. Milk was everywhere!"

Harry laughed, his face so lit up and excited; Louis hoped Harry looked like that when he was around him. Lighting his cigarette, the ding of the bell going off has them both turning their heads. Louis ignores them and inhales deeply, suddenly angry, before exhaling. He can feel eyes on him, so he decides to turn his head and try to be polite. "Didn't see ya there," he grinned out, walking closer to the two. She's prettier up close and Louis didn't like that. "Hi, Harry. Lovely day, hm?"

Harry shifts on his foot, smiling a confused smile, but a smile nonetheless. "It is. Very lovely." Both of them stare at each other for a little bit, Harry's eyes looking deeply into Louis'. Louis felt like Harry was trying to read what he was doing, but he only grinned wider and put his cigarette in his mouth. Finally Harry turned to the girl beside him. "Sorry, Gem. This is Louis. Louis, this is Gemma." 

"Oh!" Louis says, turning to the girl and forcing a smile. "Didn't see you there. Hi." When she sticks her hand out to shake hands, he acts like he didn't see it and turns to Harry. "Still on for tonight, right?"

Harry's face falls immediately. The way Louis' stomach feels after seeing his face makes him want to throw up. "Shoot," Harry mutters, frowning. "I'm sorry, Louis. I really want to go, honest. It slipped my mind and she's only in town for tonight and I haven't seen her in a while . . . " Harry huffs, shaky hands slipping through his hair. Louis felt obligated to calm him down, tell him it's okay. But it wasn't. "Can we take a rain check, please? Tomorrow night, maybe? God, Lou. I feel awful. Please—"

Louis smiles with a shake of his head. "Busy tomorrow. 'Nother time, then, Styles." He glances over to Gemma as he backs away. "You two have a grand time," he loudly says as he flings his cigarette down and angrily makes his way back inside. Madeline goes after him, trying to calm him down, but he just shrugs her off and tells Zayn to give him someone to tattoo up.