Some Kind of Recovery

:: Chapter Five

:: Chapter Inspiration ::
:: You Found Me | The Fray ::
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

x-x-x

Everything hurt.

Not just a small ache, but a really big, bone shattering pain.

Every breath she took caused shooting pain in her ribs and as she shifted her arms, the movement caused aches.

With a sigh - and a wince - Meredith blinked softly, letting her eyes adjust to the bright lights of the hospital room. She knew what had happened, unlike most people who woke up after being unconscious, or in her case dead, for a long period of time.

She remembered the ice cold water, the way that it filled her lungs and made it feel like she was being crushed from the inside out. She remembered waking up in a room that looked very much like a trauma bay, except that everything had a blue hue to it.

And then she remember the small list of dead people she had interacted with for several hours before she felt a rather large jolt of pain throughout her entire body, which then lead to her waking up with Cristina leaning over her, looking as if she was about to cry, which that in itself was concerning enough for her.

Meredith let her eyes scan the room, taking in every detail of the rather plain walls. There was a large window opposite her bed which gave her a view out into the hallway. It was late now, she guessed because a number of people that were passing by the window indicated it was only those that had to be in work at that moment.

The door was propped open, she finally noticed, with Derek standing, leaning against its frame. The way that she stood told her that he was exhausted, the worry lines on his face more prominent in that moment than she had ever seen them. His stance was tense, his blue eyes trained on her, watching her every move.

Neither said anything for a moment, both just holding the others eye contact, waiting for someone to say something, anything.

Derek stepped forward once, trying to decide if he was going to go over to Meredith's bedside or if he was going to stay at the door. There were so many things that they had to talk about, yet he didn't want to say them because it would end up with them more than likely arguing.

With a final sigh, he made his way slowly over to the bed, her grey eyes following his every move as he did so.

Reaching a hand out, he hesitantly brushed it over her forehead. Derek was hesitant because the last time he had done such an action, the skin that had met his hand in the trauma bay had been ice cold, blue.

He felt his shoulders relax a little as his hand was met with warm skin, although slightly paler than normal. Running his hand through her hair, Derek studied her for a moment.

"My mother's dead, isn't she?" Her voice was so much like a whisper, Derek almost didn't hear it. The question startled him a little, how could she possibly know?

All he could do was nod briefly, not being able to find the words as he studied her intently for any sort of reactions, finding himself receiving none.

Sinking back down into the covers a little, Meredith winced, "It's okay," She looked up at the ceiling, processing her thoughts, it wasn't like she didn't know, yet the tears still stung at her eyes a little. "I think." She looked back down at Derek who had now crouched down beside her. "I think it's okay."

There was a faint glimmer in Meredith's eyes and Derek had to swallow the lump that was beginning to form in the back of his throat. It was almost you today, he had to bite back the comment, not wanting to disturb the silence they had fallen into, him softly caressing the back of her hand with his thumb.

Finally, he asked her, "Are you in any pain?" It was a dumb question, of course, she was going to be in pain, she had had people pounding on her chest for four hours. When he was performing CPR on her himself, he could feel her delicate ribs cracking under the force of his hands.

"A little," she admitted, her head turned slightly towards him and her voice raspy.

Pressing the call button, a nurse appeared in the doorway in a matter of moments. Derek told the nurse about the pain and requested some morphine for her. After the last time Meredith was on morphine, she had sworn that she would never again accept the drug but Derek could see the pain on her face with every breath she took and knew he couldn't watch it anymore.

He could see her eyes drooping more and more as the seconds passed by and the medication took its effect, along with everything else that had happened that day.

Eventually, her eyes fell shut and stayed shut for longer than normal and he assumed she had finally fallen asleep now that she wasn't in as much pain anymore. Just as he was thinking that, however, she shifted, her eyes cracking open just enough that he could see the fear in her eyes.

Meredith reached out to pull the blanket up to her chin, watching Derek for a second. She then admitted, "I'm scared, I don't want to sleep." It was almost as if she didn't want to admit it to herself, but she did anyway.

Derek watched her for a moment, taking in every small detail before he nodded. If he was being honest, he was scared too. He felt like if he didn't keep his eyes on her at all times, she would disappear up, Derek made his way around to the other side of the bed, Meredith watching his every move.

Once he was on the other side, he pulled down the side railing and climbed up onto the bed behind Meredith, wrapping his arm around her waist and gently pulling her towards him. Once the rail was back in place, he leaned forward and buried his face in her hair. It didn't smell like it normally did, instead it smelt of stale salt water.

Almost instantly, her body slumped against him as she fell asleep. His arms around her waist allowed him to feel every time she took a breath which kept his mind from running too wildly, yet the thoughts kept starting up again every time she took a little too long to take a breath

He continued to lay there, his eyes just at the right height to peek over the top of her head at the heart monitor that told him her heart was still beating.

Derek seemed to be in a sort of catatonic state, only blinking when he needed to. He found himself not tired at all, the thought of sleeping actually made him shiver a little. At least if he was awake and anything went wrong, he was there and he could do something to help her.

The minutes passed and before he knew it, the light was pouring in through the window he was facing, causing him to blink at the bright light. That was when he realised that he must have laid there awake all night.

Derek looked down at Meredith, who was still tucked away in his arms but had turned in the night to face him. She was in an extremely deep sleep, as nothing seemed to be waking her at that moment, even as he tightened his grip on her, although she did shift slightly, mumbling something completely incoherent.

x-x-x

Thank you guys for your comments on the last chapter! I know this doesn't really stray too much from the original plot but it will, trust me! I'm already planning the next chapter in my head right now so that may be up soon too? Who knows with me. If you could leave a comment + a vote, that would be amazing! Let's try and reach say... 200 reads with this chapter and 4 votes? I'm sure you guys can do that! Thanks again :)