I'm Crossing The Ocean || Mullette

Chapter Nine: Laf's Got Some Issues

Lafayette|First Person

You never really know how much you rely on someone until they're not around anymore to take care of you. I had been experiencing this with my grandparents since the moment I stepped off of the plane and onto American soil. I've had to learn to do my own laundry, had to be in charge of how I'm eating, and how I'm spending my money. It's an odd experience to say the least. Like growing up all while under the supervision of Anna Laurens who couldn't have proven herself to be a better foreign exchange mom. 

Her dinners are the epitome of a home-cooked, American meal, and she's always checking on her kids, making sure they don't need anything. It's gets a tiny bit invasive when Hercules is over trying to help me study and she pops her head into my room for the fifth time in the past hour to make sure we have enough snacks. I love her though, her intentions are always in the right place. 

It's just a little nerve wracking to have her interrupting our studying because there's a test that even the kids who speak perfect English are worried about tomorrow and I'm just a little terrified of flunking the thing. Plus, to add to my stress Hercules, Alex, and John are all going to be off campus the entire day for some ridiculous football thing- John really only going to watch Alex since he volunteered to take notes for the school's newspaper. Still, they would all be a half hour away- despite the fact it's not even football season anymore.

It has to do with a scholarship of some sort, so I can't really blame them for not skipping it. I'm just nervous about not having Hercules to quiz me right before the test like he usually does. I'm also nervous about not having him there period. I've gotten used to having him around during the school day, just in case I needed him. I mean, of course I'll still have Eliza and Peggy...it's just that Hercules offers a different sort of comfort- even just knowing he's on campus somewhere. 

I make him stay until nearly midnight revising with me, but eventually his eyelids droop and he yawns every couple seconds so I let him pack up his books and walk him to the door. He hugs me goodbye, wishing me good luck on the test and saying he'll text me when he can tomorrow. I nod reluctantly watching him go.

The rest of my night feels sluggish. I shower and brush my teeth to get ready for bed, checking my phone for a message from my grandparents before settling into bed. Of course there's nothing there , neither of them were ever too interested in modern technology. All they do is letters anymore, and I haven't gotten one since I sent out my initial letter during my first week here. 

I sigh to myself, climbing under the covers of my bed at nearly half past one, trying to convince myself I'm tired as anxiety for the test tomorrow sets in. I chew relentlessly on the inside of my lip, not entirely sure why it's stressing me out to this extent. Sure it's a hard test, but it really shouldn't be affecting me this much.

A light knock on my bedroom door makes me jump, sitting up in bed right away. "Laf?" Eleanor Laurens' worried voice calls through the wood. "There's a doctor on the phone. He says it's important." 

A doctor? I silently think to myself, a thousand worst case scenarios playing through my mind. "Will you bring it here, Eleanor?" My heart beats a mile a minute as the door creaks open and Eleanor tiptoes through my dark room to my bedside. I flash her a fake smile and take the house phone from her. She stands next to the bed, watching me intently as I lift the thing to my ear with shaky hands. "Merci, El," I whisper to her before speaking into the phone. "Hello?" 

"Bonjour, are you...Lafayette?" A heavily accented voice answers me on the other line- obviously French. 

"Oui. Who is this?" 

"My name is Annabelle, I work at Saint-Louis Hospital in Paris. I believe we have your grandmother in our care. Marie Dubois?"

"Yes, that's my grandmother." My stomach twists with anticipation. Eleanor gives me a look that I just bite the inside of my lip at. 

"Your grandfather brought her in a couple hours ago. She slipped and fell in her bathroom earlier today." 

"Is she alright?" I bring my fingers up to chew on my nails anxiously now. Annabelle's tone is far too dreary for this just to be some mishap. Something is wrong, I can feel it. 

"She's alright physically." 

"Physically?" I ask, bewildered at her vagueness. Eleanor reaches out and touches my arm in an attempt to comfort me. I suck in a breath, not wanting to completely lose it in front of this little girl. 

"Yes, she is ok physically, but we ran some tests and we've diagnosed her with brain cancer. I'm going to be frank- it doesn't look good." 

My heart stops. The world stops. Everything is surreal for a moment. My grandmother would never have cancer. She's too strong. She'll fight it off. It'll be gone in a week, just like every other illness she's ever come down with. She doesn't get sick, she fights her way right through flu and cold season, hardly ever sneezing. 

"We're giving her a month, Lafayette. You should come visit her while you still can." Her voice is sympathetic, but the words cut right through my heart. The call ends, but I still listen to the tone on the other end, not believing it. I feel arms wrap around my middle and it takes me a moment to realize it's Eleanor holding me, not my grandmother. The thought makes my chest ache just that much more when she leans away from me for a moment. 

"Are you ok, Laf?" 

I pull myself together just long enough to speak one more time. "Yeah, I'm fine. Go to bed, El." She nods and shuts my door behind her. I wait until I hear her door close down the hall before I let myself cry, and when I do it's silent and ugly. It's nothing like what my grandmother would've wanted, though there's nothing I can do about it.

I find great joy in mocking my own writing with dumb chapter titles. It's my new branding. 
<3