I'm Crossing The Ocean || Mullette

Chapter Ten: Don't Panic- oh wait, we're too late

|Third Person|

As a middle class high school senior, Hercules Mulligan wanted nothing more than a full ride for college. If he didn't have to pay there was a far more likely chance of him actually graduating, which his parents both constantly told him he had  to do. That's the issue with being the smart one in the family. Everyone always expects you to be the one to become a doctor or lawyer and take care of the family for the rest of your life. 

That was hardly Hercules' plan, but he wanted to make his parents happy, so when college was brought up he smiled and nodded and let them believe what they wanted for now. The idea of a full scholarship changed everything though. If he didn't have to pay he could very well study whatever he felt like without his parents nagging him about wasting money on a useless degree. The only issue with this was that the scouts looking for potential players scheduled their little workshop the same day as the test Lafayette had been freaking out about for a week. To put it simply, he felt like an ass.

His whole time at the college they were holding the workshop in he sat with his leg bouncing distractedly. Everytime he got a half second with nobody looking he checked his phone for a text. There was no way he'd get caught dead trying to send a message during something so important for his future, even if it was for Lafayette- who is pretty damn important in Hercules' eyes. 

Lafayette, on the other hand, was an nonfunctioning robot that day. He spoke to no one other than the polite good morning or hello. He didn't even bother to go through his notes before his test. He hardly felt any anxiety about the thing anymore anyway, and when he sat down to take it he just scribbled in whatever answer felt right. 

It isn't until his last class when an office aid comes in with a note for Lafayette telling him to go in to see his English teacher after school that he starts to get uncomfortable. He stirs in his seat, counting down the last minutes on the clock with his stomach twisting into a pretzel. His fingers shake so much he can hardly write without his letters going all over the page, and when the bell rings he feels that much more nervous about having to face this. He knows he screwed up, he just didn't have another choice given the circumstances.

He weaves his way down the hall back to his English teacher's classroom. Everyone seems to be too close to Lafayette, his chest squeezing each time his shoulder gets brushed or his backpack is jolted by another kid. He breathes deeply, wondering when he lost the ability to do it evenly. When he gets to the classroom the last few students are getting ready to leave. Lafayette bites the inside of his cheek so hard he fears he'll draw blood.

"Mrs. Blossom? You wanted to see me?" He fiddles with his hands, looking up to see his teacher notice him and nod, waving him over.

"Yes, Lafayette. I had some concerns about your test today, seeing as you finished so quickly. I went ahead and graded it after class." Lafayette feels his stomach fold in on itself and he clenches his hands around the straps of his backpack. 

"And?" He croaks out, cringing at the sound of his own voice. His eyes grow warm as tears push behind them. 

"You got a sixteen percent," she tells him softly. Lafayette can only nod. 

How could this happen? How could things get so bad so quickly? Everything is falling apart, falling right through Lafayette's fingers and he's doing nothing to stop it. He isn't even trying. He's just watching the life his grandparents and everyone around him worked so hard to build up slide off his fingertips and onto the murky ground beneath him, and it's too late now to scrape it back up and try to pretend nothing happened. 

"Oh," he breathes. He stares at his shoes, fearing they'll disappear with everything else if he looks away. 

"You're welcome to come in next week and take the test again. I know that English isn't your first language. Perhaps you could spend a little extra time with your tutor over the weekend, and..." 

Her voice slips into the void that blocks Lafayette's ears from the rest of the world. Her mouth continues to move, and he's nodding like he understands, but he doesn't take in anything she's actually saying. He's too busy trying to keep his breaths even. 

In, one two. Out, one two. In, one two. Out, one two. 

His chest is starting to falter in its even rising and falling. His fingers tremble at his sides so much so that he pinches them all together so he doesn't look like he's starting to have a seizure. 

Mrs. Blossom sends him off with an easy wave and a gentle smile. His shoes drag across the floor with awful squeaking sounds as he shuffles into the hallway once again, but he can't force his feet to lift up any higher. 

He walks without a purpose for what feels like nearly an hour down the hall. Only a thin throng of kids remains, their shoulders brushing against Lafayette's so frequently he starts to think he'll scream at the next one. His chest is convulsing so tightly with the need to release air that he can feel himself start to become lightheaded. His knees shake as he forces himself to walk on. 

Someone's hand lands lightly on Lafayette's back, and he nearly collapses just at that. He turns slowly to face them so that he topple over before he can see who it is.  

Peggy Schuyler tilts her head with a concerned smile and opens her mouth to ask something that sounds vaguely like Do you want a ride home? through Lafayette's clouded ears. He doesn't even realize that he's been crying until she reaches forward and skims her thumb across his cheekbone and he can finally feel again. And feeling is far too much for him at the moment. 

So, he sobs.

===

"Hey, Hercules," Eliza talks softly into her phone, glancing at Lafayette who she ended up taking home after dropping off Peggy. She sits in the Laurens' empty house now, in the living room with Lafayette who refuses to speak, or move for that matter.

"Perfect timing, Liz. We were just taking a break." Hercules grins on the other line, his anxieties for Lafayette having gone down considerably during the day. If Lafayette needed him he'd call. "What's up?"

"Uh, I'm with Laf at John's house. He isn't feeling well and I don't have Anna's number. John didn't answer when I called so I thought you could tell her-" 

"What's wrong with Laf?" Hercules asks nervously, his worrisome mindset coming back. "Is he ok?" Hercules stands to pace in the field they had taken their break in, biting on his thumbnail. Eliza chews on her lip, glancing back at Lafayette who still had hardly even looked at her.

"He's doing ok. He just probably should've stayed home today." Hercules is already grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He waves at John who is preoccupied talking to Alex and starts toward the parking lot.

"I'm driving back. I'll be there in a bit, Lizzie. Will you stay with him until then?"

"Of course."

Hercules feels guilt tug at his stomach. Had he just stayed at school today he would've been able to look after Lafayette and spared him from any trouble at school. If he'd been around this never would've happened. This is all his fault. 

I once got a sixteen percent on a math test. True story.
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