I'm Crossing The Ocean || Mullette

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Rules Are Made To Be Broken

Lafayette|First Person

I take Hercules to a park after breakfast. 

Not the one I went to with Erica. It would feel too weird to be there with him. It would feel too weird to be there at all. 

Instead, I directed him to a park not far from the Morel's townhouse. It's right next to a lake, so there's this giant expanse of grass ringing the whole thing. The only playground is behind a cluster of trees on the opposite side of the lake as well, so we're far from any other people visiting the park this morning. 

We're lying in the grass, despite the fact that it's slightly damp with dew. I have my head on Hercules' chest and I can hear his heart thumping if I focus hard enough. I have to keep reminding myself to not enjoy it too much. Still, it's the most comfortable I've been in months. 

"Ok, would you rather be alone for the rest of your life, or constantly surrounded by annoying people?" Hercules asks, chuckling a little so that his chest vibrates under my head. We had been playing this game of questions for a few minutes now and he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. 

"Annoying people, obviously," I answer with an eye roll that I don't really mean. 

"What? Really? But you can't stand when people are annoying," he reasons, poking the side of my face. 

"But somehow I've gotten used to you," I joke, shrugging. He gasps and pushes my shoulder lightly. 

"That's cold, Laffy," he mutters, but I can hear the smile in his voice. 

"Would you rather have to be John and Alex's on call couple's counselor-" 

"Oh, god no, I wouldn't wish that on anyone," he interrupts and I giggle. 

"Or," I start again, "would you rather have to babysit a drunk Eliza for a full week?"

"That's easy, drunk Lizzie for sure," he shakes his head. His hand comes up and starts playing with my hair. "Have you seen that girl when she's got a few drink in her? All she wants to do is sing karaoke and tell everyone that she loves them." 

"That's not so bad," I hum. We're both quiet for a minute, me with my eyes closed and my face tilted to the sun, and him with his fingers still threading through my hair slowly. An overwhelming feeling of complete comfort and relaxation courses through my body suddenly and I have to stop myself before I settle further in Hercules' embrace. 

He shifts his free arm up anyway. It rests across my stomach and my heart flutters when I hear him sigh. 

"I wish I could stay right here forever," he mutters. I just nod. I'm sure that if I opened my mouth something incriminating would come out. His fingers start to drag slowly over my stomach, making me tense up and hold my breath. "I know we say it all the time, but I really did miss you, Lafayette. I missed you so much that it actually physically hurt me to think about you," he admits in a quiet voice. 

I have to look up at him at that, craning my neck uncomfortably to see the faraway expression on his face. I had thought that I was the only one that felt like that about the past few months, but now hearing him say it out loud, I feel guilty for assuming I was the only one suffering. Hercules may have had John and Alex and the girls to keep him from feeling too alone, but he was still just as defeated by our circumstances as I was. 

"Really?" I breathe out, and even as I say it I can hear how dumb it sounds. 

But Hercules chuckles, smiling down at me and loosening his hold on my waist so that I can roll onto my stomach, my upper body still resting on his chest. I start to wonder how I went from keeping my distance to literally laying on top of him so quickly. 

"Of course I missed you, Laf," he says, still smiling and shaking his head. 

I can't stop staring at his smile. The grainy camera of our phones and computers really couldn't do it justice. It feels like I'm seeing it for the first time now, this close to him. 

"I'm counting down the days till you can come home," he tells me. The way that he calls it home makes my heart melt. It doesn't even feel like New York alone is my home. It's him that's my home. Wherever he is, that's where I'm sure I'll inevitably end up. 

His eyes squint in that way that they do when he smiles all wide and shows his teeth. I find myself lost in those eyes- the eyes I was constantly swimming in just a few months ago. It feels like I'm being plunged into the pool for the first time all over again. It's shocking my body for the first time once again, but this time I find myself a little less reluctant to get used to it. 

"You really have to stop teasing me like this, Lafayette," he says quietly. My cheeks heat up. "You're making it really hard to behave," he admits. I try to pull back a little, but he holds me closer. And, really, there's no harm in just being close like this. Not unless I let myself break. 

But then again, I never did have very good self control. 

That first kiss after so long without it is like being able to breathe again. It's the same relief of surfacing after diving down to the bottom of the deep end of a pool. I somehow end up with my arms wrapped like a vice around his shoulders, and my legs clamped tightly to his hips. And, even in the barely ten seconds of the kiss, I'm already completely breathless and gasping for air when we part. 

"I knew you'd break first," Hercules grins. 

"Shut up," I tell him, "I lasted longer than we both thought that I would." I laugh breathily, trying to regain my composure, but before I know it, he's pulling me back down for another kiss and I'm unable to do anything but focus on him.