Darkness Surrounding (Synyster Gates Book 1)

trashed and scattered again

heyo guys, thanks for the votes and reads, over 200!!! Wow, I'm stunned. Enjoy this short chap, a little more drama before we're slowly coming to an end down here. Buuuut I am thinking about writing a sequel, thoughts 'bout that?

see ya :3

*Brian's POV*

A couple of days later, Mac had forgotten about that stupid asshole Steve and we enjoyed our time together. We went to the cinema, walked through the parks with Pinkly and she even convinced me to go shopping. I was also able to move on, didn't think about Matt's promise towards Jimmy anymore and didn't care about Michelle anymore. But two things I just couldn't forget that easy. The throbbing pain in my left hand and the need of heavy alcohol. Since I moved back in with my family – which was exactly one week now – I hadn't touched any drink besides of water and coke and my body showed me my addiction more every day. I had cramps, sleepless sweaty nights and shaky hands all day long. I tried to hide it, but after running away from breakfast and throwing up in the bathroom the third day in a row, Suzy awaited me outside of the bathroom as I came out. My vision was blurry and I had to lean against the doorframe for not collapsing in front of her eyes.

"So that's wrong with you", she said and looked at me, her eyes full with worry.

"You were eating three times a day but did not gain any weight, now I know why. Why Brian, why?"

"Can we...?", I nodded in the direction of my room cause my legs were shaking that heavy so I felt of not being able to stand any longer.

"Sure", she said, offering me her arm to hold.

As I sat down on my bed, she let herself down beside me and looked at me again. I knew I had to tell her the truth, it was now or never. And I remembered what Mac said, I could only get out of this with help.

"It's the alcohol...", I whispered, "I...I haven't drank since I came her and...and I...I think I'm a freaking addict..."

I looked down, couldn't face my step mom cause I could feel her disappointment.

"How bad is it?", she asked.

"I don't know...can't sleep, can't really eat, my body hurts..."
"So you've been clean for a week now?"
I nodded.

"Do you think you can keep going? Stay clean?"
"I don't know..."

It got harder every day to not go to a bar and drink, but I wanted to sober up, for Matt, for my family, for Jimmy...maybe even for myself.

"I want to get clean, mom...", I said as she put her arm around my shoulder.

"And I want you to get clean and I know you can make that, Brian. You're strong, you just need to be brought back on track."

I looked in her hazel eyes.

"I want to be with the band again, clean and happy. But I can't even play the fucking simple riff for Shepard of Fire. I feel so useless for them right now", I said with my voice full of frustration.

"Give me your hand", she said and I did so.

Carefully she let her fingers run over my wrist.

"Does it hurt right now?", she asked and I shook my head.

"It's throbbing a bit but really hurting it's only when I grab something or move it too heavy, like when I need to grab on my fretboard."

"You're knuckles look almost normal again, just the small scars up there...have you seen the doctor again for your wrist?"