Fangirls

Part eight

SMUT
"You don't have to give me an answer right now." He says quickly, noticing the tears forming in my eyes.
"Jay." I whisper softly. "This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me, but-"
"Of course there's a but. I should've known this was going to fast. I should've talked to you about it first I was an idiot to think you'd be okay with this after everything you've been through-"
"Jared shut the fuck up." I chuckle softly catching him off guard. "I love it so much and I'd move in with you in a heartbeat, but I can't just leave Alice like that." I admit.
"You would?" He asks his brows arching.
"Of course I would." I chuckle softly again. He lets out a loud whoop sweeping me off my feet making me laugh. "Sh Jay Makayla's still sleeping."
"Oh right. Come on." He pulls me out into the hallway kissing me with such intensity that I have to step back a bit to stable myself. He chuckles softly against my lips his smirk pulling across his face, his hands tightly wrapped around my waist. I knew this was a big step for him that he'd never done the living together thing, but it was an even bigger step for me. After living with Anthony I never thought I'd want to live with a guy again, but for Jared to offer like that was so amazing and he's never done it before so that must mean he feels something toward me I'd never believe. It's not that I don't love him because I do, but admitting that to anyone other than myself was going to be hard. We'd know each other for over a month now, so him asking me to move in was a bit much and maybe he is moving too fast, maybe we all were, but I couldn't deny how right it all felt. Alice was happy with Shannon, Makayla and Jared were happy with each other, maybe we were having a good period in our lives for once.
**My back connecting to the wall draws me from my thoughts of the future and what a good place we're in.  His lips move over mine in such a deep and passionate way it makes my heart swell. He lifts me off my feet making me gasp gently, his hands cupping my ass as he carries me to his room, dropping me onto his bed, pulling off his shirt before crawling over me. I kiss him softly, letting my hands glide up and down his body making his muscles twitch, the joyous feeling filling my chest. He pulls back, lifting off my T shirt kissing my chest before pulling off my bra, coming back up to kiss my lips softly. I lay back on the bed, untying his pants as he unbuttons my jeans, sliding his hand down the front and into my underwear. I moan softly, trying not to kill the mood too much, he yanks me free as I do the same to him, our bodies gliding over one another in a slow intoxicating way. His hips meeting mine slowly, blissfully, when he pulls away to softly kiss my neck I don't moan again, even though it feels great.
I don't think I've ever been kissed like that before nor have I ever enjoyed this being so slow, it just feels wrong to let out deep noises. So instead I let out little gasps of air as he ever so slowly moves through me, letting me feel every bulging muscle and vein. He kisses my collarbone, jaw, moving in toward my lips, his gently kisses make me melt all over again. The slow, rhythmic movements feel like absolute heaven, the way his taut muscles glide across mine, our bodies just far enough away from each other to leave space for a teddy bear. He pulls his lips away slightly breathing with me, nipping my lips gently as we sigh with each other, eyes locking again. My hand glides down his jaw from his hair slipping over his cheek to run my thumb over his lip, before he comes back down pulling my bottom lip between his, breaking against me, his warmth moving through me bringing me with him. I sigh into his parted lips, feeling fulfilled.** We lock eyes again coming together our lips meshing perfectly, as he lays contently on top of me, still joined. When we pull away our lips don't part immediately, sticky from panting, they peel apart seductively. I close my eyes setting my forehead to his, thumb tracing his bottom lip again.
"Thank you." I whisper panting gently.
"For what?" He asks tilting his head to the side.
"For loving me." I breath kissing him.

Two weeks later... I sit on the bed watching him pack.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay here?" He asks looking up at me.
"I'll be fine."
"What about Alice?"
"She's gonna come over after her shift, I promise we'll be fine, stop fussing." I stand up kissing him gently before pulling one of his T shirts from the bag.
"What are you doing?" He asks chuckling.
"Just a piece of you to remember."
"I'm not leaving forever. I'll be back baby I promise."
"I know." I say softly. "I'm gonna miss you."
"I'm gonna miss you too baby." He kisses me before closing his suitcase.
"Have a good time." I say pushing him toward the door.
"You too." He says waving slightly. "I'll see you in a few days beautiful."
"Can't wait." I chuckle. He walks past Makayla, kissing her as he goes. And that was the beginning of the end for the two of us. The first few days were okay, better than okay, we talked when we could, but then our time didn't seem to match up. Things started to pick up in my life, I'd met with a publisher about a children's book that Alice and I had been working on and he wanted to pick it up, so that even when Jay was home I hardly had time to see him. He was working on his album and I was busy working on the book. Over the month and a half Makayla slowly started to become a constant. Anthony was starting to pick up more work so he'd only see Makayla when he came to the condo after work and often times he'd stay at my apartment with Alice, if I was at Jays house, since it was closer. Alice was easily picking up attention, slowly forgetting about her boyfriend much like myself until the morning sickness hit her in waves. On more than one occasion she was diving off stage running for the bathroom. Of course we didn't know it then, but when she took the test and it came out positive she was mortified. She refused to tell Shannon, since they happened to be on tour again, she wanted to wait the two weeks for them to come back before saying anything. I didn't argue, but it brought a question to my mind. When was the last time I'd had my period?
Horrified I pull out the second pregnancy test. Looking up at Makayla run past the bathroom door of the four bedroom condo. Happily, she squealed as Anthony chased her down the hall toward the living room Alice close behind them laughing loudly. It'd been two months since I'd had any stimulating contact with Jared, and I know right after that I had my month to month visit, but when was it after that? Nervously tapping the stick against my palm I wait the required time, biting my lip until it bleed. What would he say? Will he love the idea? Of course he will I knew that much, but we haven't been together that long. It's only been about four months, if that since we met at his concert. Two kids by two different guys? How slutty. I feel my nose scrunch in distaste. I guess that much was true at this point. I look up at the clock before looking at the stick, two little pink lines forming on the small screen making me gasp. I drop the small plastic piece on the floor, tears forming in my eyes, one hand shooting to my mouth, the other grasping my shirt over my stomach. What have I done?