Fangirls

Part six

SMUT & SENSITIVE TOPICS (**'s divide the sensitive topics and smut, they're at the beginning and the end of the section)
I wake up, noticing Alice in bed with me, but I ignore it. I grab Makayla from her crib and change her before going out into the kitchen to feed her. I sit her in her seat giving her a bottle and a handful of baby fruit puff things before making some eggs. She usually wasn't up this early, but Grace graciously put her to bed early last night meaning she was up early this morning and that she'll be horribly cranky tonight when I try to put her to bed on time. I feed her and put her in her pack and play so she can busy herself with her toys before going back to the kitchen, when I see him, sleeping peacefully on the couch. How did he get in here? I didn't let him in last night. I know I didn't.
"Alice." I mutter, the anger slowly welling inside me. "Alice!" I yell coming down the hallway. "What the hell is he doing here!?" I roar pointing back down the hallway.
"Who?" She asks lazily sitting up rubbing her eyes.
"Jared!" I snap.
"Sleeping?" She asks lost.
"I want him out, and since you invited him in, you get to kick him out." I declare pushing her down the hallway.
"No, I'm not kicking him out, what the hell's wrong with you?" She whisper hisses as I look over to see Jared sleeping soundly and Makayla sitting in her playpen chewing on a toy.
"I can't-" I stop herself from being too loud looking over at Jared sleeping again. He's so cute when he sleeps. "I can't get attached to something I know won't stay."
"Alisha." She sighs pulling me back toward my room, pushing me on the edge of the bed. "You can't think like that. Not everyone is Anthony." I gulp, the pain ripping through my chest. I wait a second before saying anything waiting for the 'what the hell did you do?!' statement to pass her lips, but it never comes.
"Please Alice, I'm not talking about just me. I would totally risk it, if I didn't have a daughter to worry about."
"He wouldn't do that to her and you know it."
"That's not the point." I declare standing up dramatically.
"Stop hiding Alisha." She snaps at me.
"That's rich coming from you!" I snap back. Her eyes widen in shock, but I don't say anything, the pull on my heart strings makes me want to apologize, but I can't, because it's true. She doesn't trust Shannon, she didn't trust me for years so who is she to tell me I need to stop hiding?
"Okay, low blow on your part." She hisses when I don't apologize for what I said, sitting on the bed. "But I guess you're right about that."
"Two broken people can't fix each other." I whisper the pain bubbling inside my chest all over again.
"I guess not." She whispers back at me, standing up. I want to tell her not to go, that I was sorry, but I need her to give me some space. I need her to walk away because it's not fair that she's telling me I need to do something when she can't do it herself. Sighing I go back out into the living room, Makayla watching Spongebob as she chews on her rubber duck, I look down at Jared who's still sleeping soundly. I cross my arms over my chest sighing again. I kick the bottom of the couch making him jump and look up at me.
"Alisha." He yawns looking over at Makayla for a second before looking back at me. "What's up?"
"What's up?" I snap at him. "I told you to get lost." I say coldly.
"I know you did, but I wanted to make sure Alice got home safe and told you I said I was sorry for overstepping my boundaries with Makayla... and that I'm not going anywhere, even though you want me to. I don't care, okay I'm lying I do care if I never see Makayla again, but I understand where you're coming from. I wouldn't want a famous person around my kid knowing they go on tour either, but Alisha, I'm not going to leave you." I feel my heart pull in my chest.
"What's your motive Jared, I still don't get it?"
"Why don't you get it?"
"Because you're famous! You're a celebrity and I'm barely keeping me and my kid alive!"
"I don't care that you're not famous, or that you don't like my band, but I do care about you Alisha!"
"Why!? Why do you care about me!?"
"Because- because you're a great mom, you work your ass off to make sure Makayla has everything she needs. You took in a teenager when she needed help, you work your ass off to make sure she sees her father and her bitchy aunt. You put up with her aunt for her instead of taking Anthony to court and getting full custody of her. You're beautiful and caring and just a wonderful person all around with the hopes of finding a better job and having a wonderful family. And no matter what you think Alisha, you deserve one." I stare at him a second, fighting back the urge to ball my eyes out right here and now.
"No." I say shaking my head. "I don't believe it."
"Why?" He growls getting closer to me.
(**WARNING SENSITIVE TOPICS**)"Because, you're too good to be true. There isn't a man in this world that's this nice and caring. Anthony walked away from me after two years and a daughter, my father walked away from my mother after eighteen years and a daughter, I was ten when my father left me and my mom. She struggled to make ends meet, she had two jobs and no time for me. If my father could leave my mom for a twenty year old after all that time, then why can't you?" My heart beats frantically in my chest at the memories of my father. "He claimed and swore up and down how he loved the two of us more than anything, but was he thinking that when he beat her? When he'd shove her to the ground and kick her until she was begging him to stop?! Huh you think he loved her then? I could tell she was relieved when he left, she practically packed his bags for him, because she couldn't deal with that, not after eighteen years of the same with my grandfather."**
"Alisha... I would never-"
(**SENSITIVITY WARNING**)"Yeah, he said the same thing. 'I'd never hit you my beautiful daughter' guess how old I was?" I say looking at him, the chill in my voice covering the pain, burying it like I always have. "I was seven Jared. I'd watched him destroy my mother for seven years with him promising me that he'd never do it to me. Well when I tried to stop him, all that disappeared, like he never meant it and after that he was not the man I knew. He brought whores home, he'd fuck them in the bed he and my mother slept in together, on the couch, he didn't care. My mother and I were nothing to him those last three years. If we went anywhere in public as a family, he'd take a separate car, he'd walk away from us, he wouldn't introduce us to his friends, we were no one to him. And my mom's new boyfriend wants nothing to do with me, because he thinks I'm damned just like my father, that's why she kicked me out when we found out I was pregnant.** I thought Anthony was going to be different, and he was, he never laid a hand on me, but he manipulated me in a different way. He made me believe he was going to give me what I wanted and he didn't." He stares at me a second before looking over at Makayla who was laying down now, looking at the TV yet.
"I would never hurt you Alisha, I can't just tell you to trust me, not after all that. I wouldn't expect you to, but I swear, with everything I am and have, that I will never hit you, I will never manipulate you and lie to you and make you believe something that isn't true. But when, and if, you ever trust me, or love me back, then I'll give you everything you've ever wanted, needed, I'll treat Makayla like my own, not that I don't now, I'll protect you from the bad and make sure you feel every ounce of good. I'll do anything you need me to do."
"You're not the Jared I know." I chuckle lightly looking at the floor, hiding the pain, the love, hiding it all in the small strained smile. "Where's the blunt Jared that tells people to shut the fuck up?" I look back up at him, the smile slowly stretching into a real one. He watches me for a second before smiling at me gently.
"Shut the fuck up Alisha." I laugh lightly looking at the floor before looking back up at him, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief before his smile drops a little. "Where's Alice?" The question makes my smile drop, the happy light hearted feeling disappearing once again.
"She left. We had a bit of a disagreement, and now... she's gone. I don't know if she'll come back or not."
"She'll be back."
"Yeah, how do you know that?"
"Easy, she's like your sister, you fight and come back to one another, no big deal." He shrugs.
"I highly doubt you and Shannon fight over anything." I say.
"Yeah, but you and Alice are too much a like to get along, you're too serious. Shannon and I brush everything off with a laugh, no big deal." He shrugs again. Sighing I look over at Makayla again, her small eyes closed as she sucks on the ducks tail. "She's so cute when she sleeps, she looks just like you."
"Yeah, you said that before."
"I know, but I mean it. When's her birthday?"
"Wednesday."
"Are you having a party for her?" I nod slowly. "Yeah, just family." He just nods slowly beside me before I look up at him. "I've never told anyone about my father, not even Alice, so please, don't say anything."
"I would never."
"Good." I whisper.
"Alisha." I look up at him when he says my name. "Shut the fuck up." He grabs my cheeks, pulling me up and into him, making me stand on my tiptoes to kiss him back. I hesitate a second to kiss him back, but the undeniable tingle stops me from pulling away. I kiss him back twice as hungrily, the need deep in the pit of my stomach already, butterflies fluttering around it. I sit back on my feet, one of my hands wrapped around the nap of his neck, the other fisting his shirt. He pulls back to catch his breath, his forehead meeting mine before I bring my lips back to his, pushing him back toward my room. **He chuckles, peeling off my tank top, his hand finding my exposed breast, pinching my nipple between his fingers making me moan loudly.
"Shit." I mutter yanking off his shirt, his long hair, tousled from sleep, was now askew around his face, wisps falling in his eyes touching the tip of his nose. Chuckling I brush it back before pulling him down to connect our lips again, moaning gently when his hand brushes against the front of my shorts. He pulls them off lifting me off my feet, his body pressing me into the wall, his hips set between mine. I pull on his Gucci jogging pants, his hips hitting mine quickly making me gasp. I claw at his shoulder, bouncing between him and the wall, my body moving over mine as he pounds at me, his hips meeting mine in harsh strides. I pull at his hair with one hand and claw his back with the other, the feeling of being fulfilled washing over me in waves as I move away from him to let him sit deeper between my legs. His panting breaths brushing over the side of my neck, before he kisses me, sucking gently on the skin just at the base of my neck. I feel my body tense a second when he hits the perfect spot, my moan coming from deep in my chest, making him chuckle softly. Moan after moan passes my lips as he curses under his breath pushing me closer to the edge, my hips bucking to meet his strides. He growls one of his hands moving to grab my breast tightly the other gripping my hip. A chill runs down my spin as I break against him, he groans his own following after me, his warmth spreading through me. He rides out our high before pressing his forehead to mine, panting loudly.** "Shit." I mutter again, chuckling breathlessly. I kiss him gently ready for round two when I hear Makayla turn over. We both look over to see her laying on her stomach, looking up at some baby cartoon making her screech in distaste. Sighing I wiggle slightly so he'll let me go, so I can get dress again. I redress myself before going over to the TV grabbing the remote to turn on Spongebob. She looks up at me smiling happily before she looks at Jared, pulling herself up to reach for him.
"Up." She says happily making him chuckle. He easily complies picking her up and sitting on the couch with me following behind him. She leans back when I hand her a sippy cup with juice in it, leaning her head on his chest as she drinks. We sit together watching TV for a while before he looks over at me, kissing the top of her head making her sigh happily, her eyes fluttering closed. I give him a gentle smile before leaning in to kiss him.
"You're so perfect." I whisper just as Makayla falls asleep.
"Shut the fuck up." He whispers back making me laugh gently yawning. I close my eyes basking in his scent and the happy moment, I easily fall asleep.