that joke isn't funny anymore

just like honey

evelyn's pov
we were at the wedding reception and i'd done all of the things you were supposed to do. first dance, cut the cake, speeches, etc.
i needed to tell amy something.

i grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into the toilet.
"what is it?" she asked.
"i'm pregnant. with morrissey's baby." i said to her, before breaking out crying.
she hugged me.
"when did you have sex with him?" she asked me.
"a few weeks ago." i said, wiping a tear away from my mouth.
"if you don't mind me asking, why?"
"because johnny was pissing me off and i kind of missed morrissey." i sighed.
"wait..you missed him? even after he kissed a boy, dated me slightly, had another girl and said how he didn't think your relationship was serious? why?" she asked.
"i don't know, okay?" i cried.

the toilet door opened and mike walked in.
"christ, i've been looking for you tw- wait, what's the matter?" he asked.
"evelyn's pregnant." amy said.
"oh so johnny's gonna be a dad then?" mike asked.
silence fell upon us.

"johnny's..not gonna be a dad?" mike asked.
at that moment andy walked in.
"can neither of you two read? for fucks sake this is the ladies! well, i don't mind mike, he's seen all of m- oh wait, so have you. what if morris- oh yeah he's seen all of me too.." amy stuttered.
"you've had sex with morrissey?" mike and andy said in unison.
"yeah but he wasn't that great, evie i can't see how he knocked you up..oh shit." amy blurted out.
"fucks sake amy you ruin everything!" i cried at her.
amy looked at mike and he hugged her.

amy smiled at me nervously.
"at least our kid will have a friend?" she said, trying to make me feel better.
"you never told me you were pregnant?" mike said to her.
"i wanted to keep it a secret." she said with a smile.
"wait. where's andy gone?" i asked.

a few moments later.
the toilet door swung open again, this time with more force.
it was johnny.
he stormed over to me.
"i can't believe you went behind my back and had sex with HIM! i bet it was that night you said you were with robert!" he accused

i started crying more.
"i'm sorry johnny. i'm so sorry! i didn't mean for it to happen! i went over to go get the rest of my stuff that i left there and he just jumped me!" i yelled, tears streaming out of my eyes.

johnny sighed and walked back out of the toilets.
"oh fuck. he's gonna kill morrissey." i said, a sense of realisation hitting me.
"why do you care?" amy asked.
"i don't. i just don't want a death at my weddding." i said with a sigh, running out of the toilets.
i ran outside to see johnny leaning steven up against a wall and beating the shit out of him. blood was streaming out of his nose and staining his white shirt.

"stop!" i screamed at johnny.
"evelyn. go back inside." he said to me.
"why? why should i?" i asked.
he whispered something to morrissey and walked over to me.
"i don't want you staining your dress." he said to me.
he walked back over to morrissey and continued to beat the shit out of him.
"that's what you fucking get for getting my wife knocked up, you poncey prick." johnny snarled at him.
i walked over to johnny and dragged him back inside.
"the fucks wrong with you?" i asked him.
"evie. he got you pregnant. are you not even slightly pissed off?" he asked me.
"i am. i'm just better at hiding it, that's all."