Passive Me, Aggressive You (Robert Downey Jr.)

Mess

A/N: Oh my my my my my god. So many votes and reads. Almost 200! You guys make me wanna cry sometimes! Okay, so this chapter is mostly full of funny and feels. Also, it's going to be a very long chapter. So I hope you're ready for that. Enjoy y'all!

"Ready, love?" Chris asked, taking my hand. My new goal, be completely and utterly disgusting. Why was I willing to do this for Robert? "Friends with benefits" hasn't ever been my thing. Dating period hasn't ever even been my thing. So why am I going on a date? Was this to try and make Robert jealous? Deep down I knew him and I aren't going to work so why was I hoping? 

We arrive at a restaurant. It's beautiful. Extremely classy. White table cloths, candle light, blue champagne glasses. It made me nervous. Time to ruin my etiquette. I sat down as a waitor, all dressed in a tux and tie set a bottle of champagne on ice. 

"Water?" He asks. I nod and he slowly poors us a couple of glasses. 

"Let me know when you two have fully looked over the menu." He said politely and left us to sit and think. C'mon andie. Let's go... you've got this. I smiled at Chris, taking the bottle of champagne and popping off the top, it explodes all over him. I pretend to look shocked. No, I take that back. I was shocked. I'm going to make this probably the worst date in Chris Hemsworths life. 

"Sorry!" I shout, running over to wipe him off. He laughs simply and shakes it off. 

"Not a problem." 

"My apologies, sir." The waitor replied coming back. 

"Oh, no no, it was my fault." I say charmingly. 

"Right. Are you both ready?" He seemed to be slightly irritated now. 

"I think so." Chris says to him, smiling. 

"I'll have a full rack of ribs." I shout. 

They both stared at me in amazement. 

"What?" 

"I'll take the meatpie. With potatoes." Chris says, seeming slightly confused.

"Extra barbecue sauce, please." I say smiling while handing him my menu. 

"So. Robert." Chris began. My face was suddenly beat red and he must've been able to notice.

"Something happen between you guys? I mean, you two get really weird about things that have to do with each other." He says, taking a sip of water. 

"Just two really good friends looking out for each other." I say, shrugging. He bought it. And in fact, it wasn't completely all a lie. 

"What happened with you and the wife?" His face then burned red. Wait. Why?

"Elsa.." He began, his eyes squinting. 

"Chris?" I was getting slightly angry. 

"Are you still..." I started. Our food came quickly. As if to dodge his answer. Like god didn't want him to answer. 

"Dig in!" He says with that thick australian pearly white smile. He was still hands down gorgeous. Alright Chris. I'll dig in. 

"Yes." I say as i grab the entire rack of ribs into my hands, ripping it in half. He stared at me in astonishment. I didn't even pull the bones apart, just forged around them to get whatever meat I could. My face covered in sauce and my chest as well. After getting as much as possible, I then rip the bones off and suck all of the fat and meat off. I felt like a cave-man at this point, and with my mouth full i scream, 

"It's delicious." Now I'm not going to say Chris is a tight dickwad, nor am I going to say he is shallow, but the way he looked at me, he was mildly disgusted. Hopefully he doesn't ask for a second date. I gulped down some water, letting my dress get soaked by the remainder that seemed to escape my lips. I finished eating before Chris and sat there, staring at him eat. He was so polite. He patted his mouth clean and looked back at me with a smile.