Mediocre Boulevard

o n e

     I didn't feel sad. In fact, I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel the same happiness my mother felt when a pair shoes she'd shopped for online had arrived or the same anger she felt when I embarrassed her in front of her book club friends.

Fuck. She had those annoying bitches over every Thursday and each time I would come downstairs and make myself comfortable on the couch where I watched reruns of Supernatural.

"How can you allow her to watch something so gory?" One would try to whisper to my mother who just smiled tightly.

"Aren't you afraid she'll become a heathen?" Another would ask blatantly before she received my favorite finger. I was a little polite. My favorite finger always came with a fake smile.

Those old bitches were the most judgmental beings since teenage bitches. They were the ones who always had me on my toes. They were infuriating but I never expressed just how angry they made me.

If anything I kept my emotions neutral in an effort to shield my mind from the shitty people living in this artificial town. I didn't give a fuck about their dinner parties or their charity balls. I didn't give a fuck what my mom thought even if she assumed I did.

To put it simply, I just didn't give a fuck.

She also assumed that I was lonely when in fact I liked to be alone. I couldn't tolerate the people my age so I roamed wherever I went on my own. I made my own decisions and faced the repercussions myself. I didn't give a fuck about that either.

That is until a fair-skinned dumbass moved in next door. His parents seemed off and yet he stood out the most. How would he fit in any way? After all, he did only wear a distressed jean jacket decorated with misplaced patches over a plain black t-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans that had put my own to shame. I was officially intrigued by Cloud St. James.

It was after dinner when I caught him staring up at my bedroom window with squinted cyan eyes and I would be lying if I said I didn't flip him off. I felt as though my gesture was enough to tell him not to come lurking around my side of the house. To fuck off with his curiosity. But it proved to only make him laugh and return his own finger.

I kept my lips straight and my eyes on his wide smile. I remember wondering what the hell he was smiling for. Wondering what exactly was the point of smiling at something that didn't require a smile. Wondering what the fuck was wrong with him.

And then he waved. As if I were someone he'd known. As if I would wave back and send him on his way. I'd preferred if he'd just shoved his manners up his ass before going back to his own home. He was too friendly.

'The window,' he mouthed gesturing for me to slide the dingy glass up. I shook my head and crossed my arms before he mouthed again for me to open my window. If he were anyone else I might have disappeared from his sight and gone to the other side of my room to avoid his stare but for some reason unknown to myself I slid my window open. The wind was crisp and actually served as refreshing.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked while leaning on the sill underneath my arms. His brow furrowed slightly and yet that unnecessary smile remained and even came with a low chuckle. "I'm supposed to be cleaning up the weeds on the side of my house but I noticed you. That's got to mean something, right? Me, noticing, you," he said as he shoved his large hands into the pockets of his jacket.

I scoffed and rested my chin in the palm of my hand. "Fuck off, asshole. I don't associate with the people in this town. That includes you," I responded knowing that a small part of me knew that he probably didn't fuck with these people either. He looked just as troubled as me.

He nodded and chuckled again before he began kicking at the grass beneath his feet, "Woah! You're gonna give me a sunburn with all that sunshine."

I could sense his sarcasm and in a way I liked it. I lived off of candy and sarcasm. "Just get the fuck away from my window. I don't need you trying to be my friend and shit," I told him even though I was sure the feeling inside of me knew that I saw him as someone with more potential than just a friend. He was handsome had a mystique that caught my attention from the moment he'd stepped out of the moving truck.

He nodded again causing his dark hair to fall into his eyes. "We are neighbors, you know. My bedroom is right across from yours. This space between us is just as much mine as it is yours. So you get the fuck away from my window," he smirked. I was pretty sure he wrong. There was definitely a legal end to my house and a legal start to his.

I cocked my head to the side before my teeth clenched together. He was making me...angry. Just like those annoying ass housewives. He was ruining my nonchalance. "Fuck off. You've been here less than a day and you're already just as annoying as the rest of these boring fucks," I spat which made him laugh again. His smile was wide and annoyed me even further.

What the hell so funny? What was funny about me stating facts? "I happen to be very different from the usual crowd. It's one of the reasons we moved here," he informed me before pushing his hair away from his face. He was really fucking pale.

I shook my head and licked my teeth before I leaned down just a little more. "You're gonna end up like everyone else in this town. An artificial, talentless, nobody. So get the fuck away from my window," I said before leaving his sight. I closed my window and crossed my arms once again.

I watched him for at least a minute as he looked down and began actually picking weeds and for some reason, I wasn't approaching anger anymore. No, I felt another emotion surfacing. Guilt. For being such a bitch. However, there was no way I could allow such a thing to happen to myself. He was fucking with my nonchalance and I would fuck him over before letting him win.