Mediocre Boulevard

n i n e

     The hospital waiting room consisted of Cloud's parents, my mother, and I as we awaited the doctor's news. Cloud had passed out a little while before the ambulance had arrived and I thought he was gone.

Some part of me knew he would probably be alright but I had never seen someone get stabbed. The blood on the grass. The blood on my shoes. Mrs. Holt continuing to bitch. The lights flickering between red and blue.

Jason had been taken into custody and even then he was trying to fight the police. Caroline cried and demanded that they release him before Bryce stepped up and punch a handcuffed Jason in the face. Jason's head turned too far and released a cracking sound.

"Fuck! I think you fuck up my neck!" Jason had screamed with his head down to the side. Bryce shook his head and got closer to Jason, making him look him in the eye. "That's for Cloud! You dickhead!" Bryce yelled before grabbing Caroline and dragging her into their house.

I wanted to reprimand myself for ever getting involved in such a drama filled situation. If I had never let Cloud get into my head then I would have remained the same person I was before. There was only one good thing that had come of all this and it was my mother defending me for once. She'd called me Charlie. I had never seen her so angry and it was the first time she'd cursed. At least not around me.

"He's going to be fine, you know? I'm sure Cloud is a strong boy, Charlie," she whispered to me before pushing one of my curls away from my face. I shrugged and turned to look at her.

"This is my fault. I should have just kept my mouth shut," I whispered back knowing that I should have just stayed home in the first place.

"Well, you probably wouldn't have known how you really feel. How I really feel," she responded, "You like that boy and I think he's good for you. I also think you are perfect just the way you are. Im sorry for trying to force you to be someone you're not. I'm done trying to fit in with those mean bitches. They never really liked me anyway."

I looked into her eyes and gave her a small smile. For once my mother was accepting me. Calling me Charlie and accepting me.

"Family for Cloud St. James," the doctor called out as he looked down his clipboard.

"That's us," Mrs. St. James spoke as she rushed over to receive news about her son. I could tell that she was frazzled and confused about the entire situation but she was trying to be calm.

"Cloud is going to be alright. The wound wasn't too deep. The reason why he passed out is that he was in shock and he lost a lot of blood. You may go in and see him but he's asking for someone named Charlie," the doctor informed us.

He was asking for me?

Mrs. St. Cloud turned around to look at me with worried eyes and tear stained cheeks before she nodded for me to see Cloud. I felt honored that she wasn't upset with me. For I was the reason Cloud was stabbed was because of me. Even her husband wouldn't look me in the eye.

I stood up and followed the doctor while twiddling my thumbs. What could Cloud possibly need me for? Wasn't he mad at me? I was so mean to him before the ambulance showed up. I wasn't trying to be. I was just in trying to keep him awake. I was scared.

"He's very sore so be mindful of that," the doctor told me before he allowed me to step inside of the hospital room. It was bright. An allusion to the frightening things that took place in a room that belonged to a hospital.

As I approached the bed Cloud laid there with his mouth open and his eyes boring into my presence. He seemed so different. So tired and worn out.

"Hi," I whispered as I sat down in the chair next to the bed. Cloud groaned and moved his arm so that he was reaching for my hand. In any other circumstance, I would have told him to stop with his sappy bullshit but I grabbed his hand and I didn't give it one thought.

"You scared the hell out of me," I told him before he tried to smile that goofy smile. "Sorry," he groaned."They said you're gonna be alright," I continued.

Cloud nodded and held my hand tighter before he coughed. I grabbed the glass on the side table and lifted his head. He drank quickly and when he was done I took a sip myself.

"I never meant for any of this to happen. I just wanted to be with you," he admitted as he stared up at the ceiling. The light in his blue eyes seemed to be faded and washed out. "I should have painted instead of sleeping with Caroline. It wasn't worth it."

I shushed him and took a deep breath, "I don't care about Caroline. I...I care about you, Cloud. I thought Jason was going to kill you. I thought I was going to lose you and the feeling I got was something I've never felt before. You annoy the hell out of me and you invade my space but damn it, don't you ever leave me," I cried. I couldn't help the tears that fell down my face.

Cloud flashed his smile again—or at least tried to—before lifting our hands to kiss my knuckle. "Be with me," he suggested.

I had to admit. Although Cloud had been stabbed and I felt I was to blame for it, I knew that Cloud was too good for me. He was too kind and too...happy to be with me.

"You don't want me. I'm so...depressing," I whispered as I leaned down. Cloud frowned and shook his head making his dark hair fall into his eyes. "I want you. Whether you believe it or not. You'll see eventually if not now," he told me before the doctor informed us that Cloud should see his parents. I kissed Cloud's cheek and told him that I would visit him again before I walked out of the room.

I knew that I was confusing but what was expected from a person who was confused? I was supposed to be nonchalant and annoyed by everyone in society including people like Cloud.

However, Cloud St. James made me feel something that scared the hell out of. He made me feel a lot of things that scared the hell out of me.