13 reasons why imagines

45-Zach Dempsey[Iv'e made a lot of mistakes but you aren't one of them]

What did I do to deserve all this guilt?- seemed to be a question I asked myself a lot lately. It mostly cams up at night while I sat on my bed writing down my problems because people were useless when it came to talking. It was a dark thought that covered my dark brain In this already blackened world.

Why Hannah put me on her tapes? Well, that's another question I save for 4 in the morning. It felt as if she betrayed me, I told her my secrets because I trusted her and now people knew what I did and what I was capable of, and that ate at me.

It was like caffeine and kept me making my heart race and my eyes blood shot. Some nights I hated Hannah for people would see me I kept hidden, they would hear the stories I wanted to keep hidden. Other nights with a red solo cup in my hand I thanked Hannah, or the drunk part of me did. I deserved what I got and it's time people knew, but drunk me was stupid as you will learn later.

But if you must know the one thing that ate me up the most, what seemed to burn inside me like a fire is what my boyfriend would think, would he still love me? Yeah maybe Zach had a big heart but it wasn't that big, that forgiving.

Of course he was on the tapes, but he made a mistake and I forgave him for that because what is life without mistakes.

"Abi are you still there I'm talking to you," Zach pulled me back into the real world

"Sorry," I mumble. "I was thinking about all the homework I still have to do."

That was a strait up lie but he bought it.

"So I'll take it as a no for meeting up and my house tonight," Zach frowned sympathetically.

"Yeah sorry babe," I mumble again playing along.

"Rain check?"

"Of course"

There was a small moment of silence and I began to drift off into my thoughts until someone pulled me back out again.

"Yo Abi looking great as usual," Justin called off walking up to me and Zach.

"I always try though I can never look as great as you," I shot back smiling. "Tell me how do you do it, it must me tiring."

Justin laughed at my comment Zach looked unamused.

"It takes skill Abi, lots of skill and 10 tubes of hair jell," Justin smiles warmly.

"Well damn I don't have skill or the money looks like you'll beat me every time."

"Looks to be that way," Justin tugged on his backpack, "as much as I would love to stay and talk about how good I look I have to go meet Jess, she'll kill me if she doesn't get a kiss in before class," he walks off.

I wrinkle my face in disgust,"we both know it won't just be one kiss and it most definitely won't be on the lips," I holler at him.

"You know me so well," he laughed as other people's cheeks lit up embarrassed by the conversation they just overheard.

"I try,"

I turn back to Zach and smile up at him, he still looked unamused.

"Smile baby," I say lifting his lips up into a smile with my fingers.

He smiles finally but I knew it was only to make me happy. I knew something was bothering him but I didn't bring it up, if it was something I didn't want to make a scene.

Before I could say something to Zach, Monty walks in and heads towards us.

"Hey Zach what's up man." Monty pats him on the back, "Abi how's it hanging?"