Heal || A Negan Fanfiction

Chapter 9: Dark Cloud

After laying on the floor for what seemed like forever, I somewhat regained my composure. I shakily slid my clothes back on that were forcefully torn off of me. Then I just sat at the foot of my bed, staring off into space as I thought about everything.

"I fuckin' broke my promise." Negan suddenly said. I looked up to see him standing in the doorway. He looked so upset, not only at the situation but at himself.

Impulsively, I got up and darted over to him. As soon as he had his arms wrapped around me, I cried some more. "Negan... Don't take it out on yourself." I said when I calmed down. My hands tightly gripped his leather jacket too keep me from falling. I was just so weak that my legs would give out any second.

"No... I told you I wouldn't let him come anywhere near you. But he fucking did!" He continued.
"I know but.." I trailed off when I felt something slippery on his jacket.

I let go of him to study the substance on my hand.

It was blood.

    When I looked up at Negan, there was more on his neck and some on his jacket. It had to have belonged to Erik.

Even after what Erik did to me, I still didn't stand for killing him. That went against all my morals. "You.... You k-killed him." I whimpered, backing up from Negan. He tried grabbing my hand but I flinched away. "Sweetheart, I did it for you." He said, seemingly offended by my reaction.

I felt so sickened by all of this. The whole situation just seemed to worsen by the second. "Negan... Get away from me." I spoke so quietly that even I could barely hear myself. He stood there staring at me with wide eyes. "I said get out!"

Yelling at him only hurt my heart even more. It was to the point where my chest literally had a heavy, unrelenting pain. In all honesty, I wanted to be with Negan... To have him hold me for as long as possible. I wanted him to look me in the eyes and tell me that everything would be okay. But knowing that he went through with killing Erik made my stomach churn.

I definitely didn't miss Erik, but it's so surreal that he was still alive and breathing only minutes ago. Then, just like that, he was gone. It burned me to know that Negan had to be the one to do it.

"Fine..." Negan spoke weakly as he turned to walk away. I'd never seen him look so defeated before. He always got his way, not this time though.

Once again, I was all alone with my thoughts. 'I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. This all just needs to end.' My mind was racing with nothing but negativity.

    That night, I cried myself into a nightmare-filled sleep. I was overtaken by a dark cloud of depression. It seemed like the sun would never be able shine through it again. Nothing would be the same and that scared me to death. If I were to continue on, I would have to live with all of the traumatizing memories I had. I'd gone through so much and it sank in all at once.

There's no use in trying to live anymore. To be haunted by the flashbacks of this night, and of my community going down, is the equivalent to Hell.

-- Sorry for such a short chapter, it just lays the foundation for the rest of the story. Also, I was supposed to upload yesterday but I've been so busy with shopping and enrollment for my new school. :/ Hopefully, in the midst of all this chaos, I'll be able to update on good timing. I hope you enjoyed! (Despite the chapter being so dark.) --