BlueDiamondKat

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Okay,  first request BlueDiamondKat

Name: Withershard (star)

Definitely a creative name

Age: 72 at death

Okay seems good

Appearance: Witherstar has soft white fur with brown tabby splotches that run down her back from her nose to tail tip, has cyan eyes

Its nice and descriptive, I like how the eyes are cyan

Gender: She-cat

Okay

Personality: Witherstar is very proud and independent. She often refuses help from others. She is often very overly protective and doesn't like other cats telling her what to do. Though through these things she is very sweet to her Clanmates and would die from them.

Okay. I suggest using words like stubborn for refusing help from others and loyal from willing to die for her Clanmates, that way you have room to add more (if you wish) to her personality.

Strengths: She is very strong in combat and has a keen sense of smell for tracking

Seems good.

Weaknesses: She has a weakness for kits and knowing something awful was her fault.

Seems fine, nothing contradicts her strengths.

Flaws: She often blames herself for things she has nothing to do with. She will beat herself up (literally) if she does something stupid.

Okay.

Clan: BrambleClan

Oh, a fanmade Clan

Rank: Leader

Alright.

Backstory: Witherstar had a pretty normal life, that was until she witnessed her own mother's death. She snapped and killed her father, who had killed her mother, and ever since then she has taken things to far when it comes to punishments. Her brother Tawnyclaw was killed by an enemy warrior in battle, then she killed that cat. Her sister Creamgaze left the Clan to become a kittypet.

This needs some work on it. Try to make the backstory correspond with the personality a little more. Ex. You can say she's battle driven or ambitious or vengeful in the personality and I would like if you added more about her caring side in the backstory

Other: Currently resides in the Dark Forest.

I can see it. Definitely less common

Overall: She's a good character just a little under developed.Try either add more about her caring side in the backstory or add more of her negative traits in her personality to balance her out.

Some words you can add to her personality (optional): Gullible, loyal, ambitious, stubborn, vengeful, hot headed

Ideas to add to backstory: She was grief stricken by her mother's death and stressed from running for deputy/ becoming a warrior caused her to snap. Too make it more interesting she could suffer from a mental illness

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