Avery's Stories

Feelings in a Safe

I'm sorry
I didn't realize I was hurting you
A blank canvas is what I am
Without you
By my side
Never realized that I needed something until it was missing.

You left.
I'm not sure why.
Was it because I seemed
Like a blank canvas,
Or a rose in the winter?
I can't share what I really feel
Because it wouldn't fit my character.
Lost like a petal in the wind
Lonely like a deserted island
Sad like a single grey cloud
In a blue sky.

"I was fine."
The phrase I said over and over
Everyone believed but you.
Because you saw me when I felt
Depressed as a rainy sky.
People wonder why I like the rain.
"It's because it keeps me grounded, reminding me at its end that there is a rainbow around every corner," I said.
The truth is that the thunder blocks out the voices that are otherwise too loud.

I smiled at them,
But you saw me cry.
Asked me what's wrong.
But I pushed you away,
Despite us being together.
You had healed me from old wounds that threatened to resurface.

Now you're gone
And I hate to say it, but
I miss you.
It hit me late one night.
That nothing ever was the same since you entered my life.
You left rougher than you came,
Leaving new cuts.

Now when I say I'm fine,
Everyone believes me.
There's no one who thinks anything different.
I locked my feelings in a safe
That no one but you knows the combination.
If you ever wanted me back,
I'd gladly except your password.
But until then,
I guess I'll keep them locked away.