Her New Chapter. Him

Jane.

It's been exactly 18 days since Tom left my house. He hasn't messaged me, or anything. I've messaged him but he wont answer. I don't know what to do. I knew I should have told him sooner. Maybe, I should have told him in a different way. I'm so upset. I haven't been able to really stop crying. Every time I think about it I just start to cry again. I can't believe this happened. I thought he wouldn't leave. You probably thought he wouldn't leave.

This is terrible! I don't even remember how it happened. I just remember telling him that I have cancer, and then telling him I was sorry, and then watching him leave me; for good. I'm glad that I didn't do it in public. That would have been really ugly. 

I hurts so bad. I can really feel my heart breaking. All I can do is cry, and try to hold my heart together in my chest. I feel the splitting, and the ripping, and the breaking. I just want it to stop hurting. I lay in my bed emotionless. I'm sure you know the feeling. The feeling after you can't cry anymore, and you don't want to think about anything. I know that my heart is broken, and I wish he would just talk to me. Every time I close my eyes I just picture him walking out that door, and leaving me for good. It's become all I think about. Is this what all relationships are like? I don't understand why he just left. I guess I do. I would've been upset if someone did that to me. I see where he is coming from. I'll try to text him again.