Heart: Under Construction

Never let you go

Agad naman s'yang tinulak palayo ni Elli.

Mukhang nagulat yung Laureen pero agad din n'yang nabawi.

"Usap naman tayo Elliot" sabi n'ya na parang nagpapaawang napapacute. Nakaka-imbyerna.

I fake a cough tsaka lumapit sa kanila "Hi, I'm Bell, his girlfriend and you are?" Tsaka ako ngumiti ng pagkatamis-tamis. Kunwari di ko narinig na Laureen yung pangalan n'ya.

For the second time, she's shocked and instead of shaking my hands ibinalik n'ya yung tuon n'ya kay Elli. Malditang 'to!

"Let's talk, privately" medyo diniin n'ya yung last word. Gusto kong magselos pero hindi ko magawa kasi ang pathetic n'ya.

I mean, Elli's been so cold kanina pa.

He ignored her tsaka kinuha si Bellamy kay Dave, na infairness kanina pa hindi mag rereact.

"I need to spend time with my son" he said while looking at my baby.

And I swear kung kanina Laureen was too composed ngayon kulang nalang umusok yung ilong n'ya sa narinig n'ya.

"Y-you...you have a son? Imposible! Three months palang mula noong mawala yung anak natin!" She said raising her voice.

"She's not mine, baka nakakalimutan mo" sobrang seryoso ni Elli. Natameme na ako, hinawakan naman ako ni Dave tsaka hinila papunta sa likod ni Elli.

"Pero malamang sa hindi mo rin anak ang batang 'yan" she fired back "And yet you chose him?!"

"Because I wanted him, I chose to be a father to him, at least I knew from the start that he's not mine"

Gustong-gusto ko sampalin si Laureen but I just froze there while they vent out all their hidden pain to each other.

Siguro just like Greg and I, they needed to hear words. Baka kaya nangyayari 'to for us to be able to get the closure we wanted for so long.

Para makapag-move on na rin kami.

"Ilang apology pa ba ang kailangan mo Elliot?" She's on the verge of crying. "It was just one night, hindi na naulit, I was drunk" what an excuse.

"You will be forgiven pero mahirap makalimot Lau, every time I look at you the picture of you and that fucking best friend of mine naked in my bed on my birthday is still here" sabay turo n'ya sa dibdib n'ya. Gosh! Grabe naman pala yung ginawa n'ya! Akala ko malala na si Greg sa pagiging gago.

"Gets mo ba? Walong taon tayo, ipinagpalit mo lang sa isang gabi dahil nalasing ka?" Omg, he's crying, I immediately held his hand.

Then Bellamy started crying too siguro kasi naingayan na s'ya sa amin.

Kinuha s'ya agad ni Dave at inakyat sa kwarto.

"Leave" pagtataboy ni Elli kay Laureen

"Elliot please" pagmamakaawa n'ya.

"Bingi ka ba? O sadyang di ka marunong umintindi?" Nakialam na rin ako. Hindi ba n'ya nakikita na ayaw na talaga ni Elli? Na masyado na nyang nasasaktan yung tao.

"Fuck off, bitch" she did not call me bitch? Ewan ko sobrang bilis ng kamay ko na dumapo sa pisngi n'ya.

"Call me bitch again hindi lang yan ang aabutin mo, get the hell out of my house or I'll call the police" I warned.

"Hindi pa tayo tapos Elliot" he looked away, without a single word.

Napaupo nalang ako sa sofa.

Mga ilang minuto rin kaming nakaupo at nakatulala sa kawalan when he decided to speak "I'm sorry"

"Exes are such a pain in the ass" I commented. Nakakapagod 'tong araw na 'to.

"Can I hug you?" And out of nowhere tinanong n'ya yan.

I nodded tsaka s'ya lumipat sa kinauupuan ko. Syempre tumayo ako with arms wide open.

Warmth.

I suddenly feel safe and secured.

I genlty rubbed his back while enjoying his scent.

"Thank you for holding my hand a while ago" he whispered in my ear. Biglang uminit, feeling ko mukha na akong kamatis sa pula. "I wanna stay like this forever" he added.

Pwede bang matunaw? Lakas magpakilig ng lolo n'yo.

"Can we cuddle to sleep?" He's too clingy I can't contain the kilig though.

"Baka hanap-hanapin ko 'tong clingy side mo, siguraduhin mong marami kang stock" I joked.

"Is that a yes" I nodded still in his embrace.

Sinulit na namin na dito mag-sleep over si Dave. Para may bantay si Bellamy.

"Kilala ko ba si Greg? He looks familiar" he asked me habang para syang koala na naka back hug sa akin dito sa higaan.

"Yeah, s'ya yung isa sa kalaro natin dati, actually dati kaibigan namin ni Dave si Greg. You know, we started as good friends" he nodded

"Do you miss him?" Kumumot naman yung noo ko. "It's okay if you miss him, I'm willing to wait until the time comes na ako nalang ang mamimiss mo" extra clingy equals to extra landi.

"To be honest? Hindi na talaga, naiisip ko s'ya oo kasi nandyan si Bellamy, I mean I can see their resemblance pero hanggang doon nalang." Pagtatapat ko. "Ikaw, are sure you don't want Laureen back?" I bravely asked. Kasi diba? Kung mas pa yung feelings n'ya for Laureen siguro hindi tama na ituloy namin ang relasyon namin. I don't want to get hurt again and I don't want to be an option either. Ayoko rin naman na dumating sa puntong kung kailan malalim na yung feelings ko tsaka n'ya marerealize na hindi pala ako, na si Laureen pa rin talaga.

Masakit but I have to know.

Humigpit yung yakap n'ya sa akin and he started to plant small kisses in my back "I still do but not enough to let her be in my life again" I'm glad he's this honest.

"Sinasabi ko talaga sa'yo, wala ng bawian pag pinili mong mag-stay sa buhay ko" pagbabanta ko na may halong lambing.

"I've no intention of leaving" he said as he continue to make me shiver. "Let's sleep"

We both succumb to slumber.

//short but sweet//