domesticated; through my eyes.

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"What do you mean you're leaving? Where are you going?" I asked sadly.

Liam knelt down beside me and took my hand in his, "I'm going to nan and granddads for a while Josie!"

"No you can't! Stay please!" I begged him.

"Liam, why don't you see how things go, stay for a little longer and then if you still want to go, you can. How does that sound?" My mum bargained.

After a few seconds of contemplating, Liam nodded his head.

"Yay!"I exclaimed, forcing him into a tight embrace.

"But if Malcolm shouts at me, or tells me what to do, or makes me uncomfortable again, I'm leaving!" Liam protested.

"That's fine baby. Why don't you go upstairs and play with your brother!"

Liam quickly headed up the stairs and called for Daniel. I followed my mum into the kitchen. She began to put away the clean dishes from earlier.

"Where's Malcolm?" I asked. I didn't know if he had came home whilst I had been asleep or not. "He's not back yet."my mum said, never turning around to face me. "Ok" I murmured.

Feeling unwanted, I headed up to my bedroom once again. I sighed heavily. I was so bored, and alone.

A long while later I heard the door opening and the sound of many voices. I recognised Malcolm's voice, but not the others. I crept halfway down the stairs and peered my head around the banister.

I see four men, one of which is Malcolm. I don't recognise the other three. They're all sitting in the living room, I can see they're all drinking the same brandy that Malcolm previously drank - Once again, I recognise the bottle. I don't know why they're here, it's quite late now, I'm sure it's my bedtime soon.

The men are wearing casual clothes, but they seem rough. I saw my mum walk over and accompany them at the table, sitting next to Malcolm. I felt very uncomfortable being surrounded by all these people that I don't know. Who are these people? Why are they in my home?

One of the men looked up and saw me in his focus. With a blank expression covering his face, he nudged Malcolm and pointed over at me. Malcolm quickly got up and shut the living room door, giving me a cold, stern look that made shivers run through my body- before he did so, I saw my mum look up slightly to view what was happening and then she quickly looked away as if she hadn't seen. I felt worthless, and numb. Numb because fear, loneliness and uncomfortableness was constantly penetrated in my veins, it was no longer new anymore. Just a vicious cycle. Maybe it was normal. I find it strange to understand, I constantly feel lonely in a room full of people, people that I'm supposed to call family. I just need my dad, he makes everything better and suddenly there's no fear, or loneliness anymore, everything is good again when I'm with him. I'm loved by him.

I huffed, feeling deflated, and worthless. I remained on edge constantly, because i couldn't be at ease with random, unfriendly people in my house. I walked back up the stairs, into my bedroom and lay under my covers in my bed, holding sandy close for comfort, pulling my body into a tight ball, to try and be as small as possible in attempt to somehow disappear.

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"Josie it's time to get up for school!" I felt a hand nudging me on my shoulder which was waking me up. I tried to turn over and ignore it, however it was becoming more frequent and persistent. I opened my eyes to see my mum staring down at me. I rubbed my eyes awake and yawned slightly. "What do you want mum?" I asked.

"You have to get up for school!"

I sat up in my bed and made an effort to get up. I didn't mind school mornings, Malcolm had always left for work before I got up, so I was more comfortable overall.