Tyler's pov
With the blush on my cheeks I looked at Gerard, which on my part was a mistake. Especially because he's Gerard and he has a gay radar and it's probably going off right now due to my reaction at Josh's snapchat story.
"What's wrong with you?" Gerard asks. I look at my phone and quickly turn it off. "Nothing." I reply to him. "You're a terrible liar you know that." he said before pulling out a cigarette and a lighter. He stared at me with both in hand. "You've gotta work a lot on that if you want to get anything past me. In case you forgot I have Mikey Way as a brother, not like he mentions me though." Gerard said before he lit his cigarette and put it up to his mouth. I watched as he inhaled the nicotine and exhaled smoke. "Don't even think about smoking Tyler." Shit why can he get so fucking serious as quickly as he does.
"I won't." I assured him. It's weird to think about our age difference. It's also weird to think that at times he's more of a parental figure than my own parents. It's also pretty sad I'm thinking about all this as I'm drinking a slushy. I stare at the frozen drink in a oversized cup and start stirring it with the straw. "There's just a lot going on in my mind and it kinda makes it harder to focus on things." I explain to him, not telling him what's on my mind because as far as I know I barely know what's going on up there. There's a war behind my face and above my throat, and it really seems like nothing is going to win. It's just going to be a bloody massacre where there's more damage than anything positive as an outcome, and i can't even do anything about it.
Gerard looked at me. "Why don't you tell me? I might be able to help a little. I did take a class in psychology." To that I just looked at him. "I took the same class. It was a mandatory class as a freshman." Gerard looked at me with a smirk. "Well Tyler I'll have you know I got a C+ in that class." Putting emphasis on the plus. I can't help but chuckle at his attempt, but then feel slightly guilty at laughing at his 'expanded knowledge' of psychology. To which he also smiled at. "Don't laugh, I passed didn't I? Even if I didn't I still hope you'll tell me so I can at least try to help."
"That's the thing, there's so much stuff I don't even know what's hurting or not." And as soon as that left my mouth I instantly regretted it, cringing at my own fucking words. And what's really cringy is the fact is that the bullshit that just left my mouth is painfully true. Everything. My mother, my 'friends' that I can't seem to leave despite how much I want to, feeling like a stupid 5th grader with an even stupider crush, not being able to focus, failing my classes, barely having people to talk to, being scared of new people. I would go on but I think it's already long enough. Gerard looked at me. "Damn you really did need more than a fucking slushy." All I could do was mess with my drink with the straw and nod, looking at my shoes unable to meet Gerard's gaze.
It's stupid how I can turn a fun thing with Gerard where we drink frozen beverages and talk about gay shit into me having a mind fuck and just think about everything that's going wrong. The worst part is it never seems to happen the other way. I feel bad for making the whole thing extremely sad. And rather cringy. "Hey Tyler. Why don't you think about the positive things huh? If you want I can help with your classes. I might not be able to help with your crush though, it's a miracle I even got Frank. And you haven't worn a rubber band in a while right? And soon you'll be the legal age to move out and if you need to before that remember all you have to do is tell me." He somehow said all that with a smile. Maybe I will be okay. Wait..
"Gerard where's my phone?" He looked at me with an unsettling smile and handed it to me. "Omg what did you do?" I said without hesitating to take my phone back. "I volunteered you to be Josh's cuddle buddy." He said while slightly laughing.
Well I'm the same fucking color as his hair again.
*surprise two chapters one day. Kinda special thing for chapter 10. And if you like this story I have another in my drafts but I just need a cover so if your interested in making it hmu, my instagram and snapchat name is 'potatoeatsafry' have fun reading 👌*
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Swings {Joshler}
Fanfiction"I-i sneak out to the park some-sometimes. I go on the swings, and I just sing. Y-you weren't supposed to see, why are you here?" I started to panic when he asked that because I knew he wouldn't like the answer. "Well, I, umm. I do graffiti..."
