Your Love

January 1, 1988, Aurora, Colorado

    The day was January 1st and I was leaving my home in Aurora, Colorado for the the wettest state in the U.S. Washington was the state where the sun hardly ever shined. That was where I would be forced to exile myself to until that new band I joined in the small town of Aberdeen, Washington where there were only two local bands in that town and it just so happened that one of them wanted me. So I agreed to leave my home and board a plane that was destined for Seattle. The more time that went by I began to get more nervous about my flight from Denver to Seattle. I packed my room slowly I didn't have to fly out for a couple days yet. I wasn't sure what I'd find out there in that small Washington town but I intended to find something. I was leaving my parents house for the first time with any degree of permance, that was a scary yet exhilarating experience to think about. 

      I couldn't stand to think about how long it would be before I saw my parents after I left. The thought in general made me sad since I knew it was the price I had to pay to chase my dreams of becoming a rock star. I was good at music and not much else so I really had no choice but to make it in the music industry. That was the main driving factor in my move to Aberdeen, Washington. As I was packing I kept reminding myself that it was too late to turn back. I think I told myself that at least ten times that night maybe more as I continued about my task of putting my entire life into duffle bags, backpacks, and suitcases. This was what I'd been working for since I was a small child, all I ever wanted to was to make good music with good people. 

   "Rhi, sweetheart it's time for dinner!" I hear my mom yell tearing my mind from my thoughts.

   "Coming mom!" I shouted back to her as I stuffed another random shirt into my suitcase before heading towards my bedroom door. 

    "There you are! I thought I was going to have to start eating without you!" My mom said with a chuckle.

    "Mom you know I've been upstairs in my room packing my entire life into duffle bags, backpacks, and suitcase all day sorry I've been a little anti-social." I said with an unamused laugh.

    "I know, I just can't believe that my little girl is all grown up and leaving for Washington in two days." My mother said with a cheerily sad smile. I never understood how she could be both cheery and sad all at the same time but that was my mom and I knew that I would never understand her.

    "So do you know where you will be staying?" My mother asked before cramming her mouth full of food.

     "No but I'll figure it out mom, I always do." I said with a bright enthusiastic smile.

      "Now Rhi, are you wanting to worry your poor mother to death by saying that you have no clue where you'll be living." My mother said being completely serious.

    "No mama, I'm not trying to worry you death I'm just being completely honest." I said jabbing at the food on my plate.

      "Then why go through with this brainless plan?" She asked as she shoveled another note of food into her mouth.

    "Because momma, this is my chance to make it. My chance to make something of myself and I can't let the fear of failure stop me from trying." I said curtly both bother to hide the venom that was making its way into my words.

     "Rhi  dear, I just want you to be safe and I can't be sure of that if you don't have a place to stay." She said her voice shaking with sadness and worry.

    "Momma, I understand. Believe me I understand, but hear me out. I'm not a little girl anymore and you can't protect me from everything the way you used to." I said with a gentle smile.

    "I know, but it doesn't make my baby leaving home any easier." She said before turning her attention back to the plate in front of her.

     "I know mom, and that's why I'm promising that I Wil be Careful in Washington." I said trying anything to reassure her that it would be fine that I would be fine.

    The rest of dinner that night drug on in silence. I could only hope that I put my mom's mind at ease, I didn't want her to worry about me when I left. I wanted her to just go on about life as she normally would knowing that I am doing fine. Once I finished with dinner I took our dishes in and cleaned up the kitchen. I ran the water as hot as I could possibly take it. I did the dishes and took out the trash. That didn't take up as much time as I had hoped, I was kind of dreading having to go back to my room and pack more. Although I knew I needed to that didn't mean that I wanted to pack anymore. I felt like if I looked abother bag or suit case of any kind I was going to scream bloody murder. With that being said I quit packing for the night not only because of that but because I was getting tired and I just really wanted sleep.

    So when I finally got to my room I changed into some shorts and a T-shirt and flopped down on the bed like a tree being struck down by a lumber-Jack. I hadn't realized how tired I was until my head finally hit the pillow and my eyes became heavy. Unconsciousness took over me immediately once I found a comfortable position to lay in. My sleep was dreamless to say the least, and if I did have any I sure as hell don't remember them. So in some case I guess it's a good thing I don't remember my dreams. It Saves me an entire day of trying to figure out what the dreams meant. I felt truly sorry for people who actually remembered their dreams because they had the task of figuring them out and from what I have learned you don't want to have to do that.

    Waking up the next morning it was cold but what else was new it was January in Colorado cold is to be expected. I wanted the last bit of time that I had left in Colorado to be great so I decided that I needed to hang out with my friends one last time before I'd probably never see them again. I had to call Kassandra and Kay because I knew they would never forgive me if I left without saying goodbye. That was just something that I couldn't do to them. So I made the call to Kassandra first.

                "Hey Kass, it's me Rhi. I was wondering if you and Kay would like to hangout today, I'm gonna be calling and asking Kay as soon as were done on the phone."
        "Sure I'd love to, don't you leave in roughly two days?" Kassandra asked trying to make sure that she knew what day I was leaving.
        "Yeah, I just don't wanna leave without saying goodbye to you and Kay." I said in a weak voice realizing that this may be the last time that I see Kassandra or Kay.
      "Well, I'll let you go so you can get a hold of Kay. We'll all just meet at your house since its the midway point between us."
          "Alright sounds good Kass." I said as I hung up the phone with Kassandra getting ready to call Kay, so that way she can get in  on this farewell girls night out. I sat there on my bed and listened to Kay go on and on about how she will miss me when I move to Washington. She also talked endlessly about her boyfriend Jack. We only hung up the phone because the pair of us had to get ready to meet up with Kass for one last night on the town as our trio
               I was terrified that this would be the last time the three of us girls ever hung out like this for a while. That made me want to cry, but  I didn't because I didn't want to brink Kassandra and Kay down with me. They wanted to have a good time and celebrate my turning 18 and being the first one to move out and away from home. This was something Kassandra and Kay wanted to do but just never had the guts or what they felt like was enough money to make it somewhere new without a single familiar face to guide your way.
        "Rhi are you okay?" Kassandra asked as we headed towards our favorite place to bake ourselves.
        "Yeah I'm fine Kass, I just realized how much I'm gonna miss this. Gonna miss hanging out with you and Kay like this. It kind of feels llike we'll never see each other again." I said sitting down in the alley way that we always went to when we wanted to bake ourselves. That was our favorite thing to do besides wander around aimlessly with no place to go.
        "Rhi, I know your mom is worried about you being in Washington by yourself how do you feel about it?" Kay asked as she lit the joint.
        "A little nervous but I think that's to be expected." I said with a small content sigh. We sat there in that dark alleyway in silence. Just baking ourselves past the point of return. This was the life, sitting in an alleyway just the three of us until the sun comes up. That was the way I spent many of my teenage nights. Kassandra and Kay have been my bestfriends  since we were all in Elementary School. 
        That night and the next couple after passed in a blur and before I knew it I was standing in the airport waiting to board a fight to Seattle. I was really kind of nervous about the idea of flying I was never much for flying or having my feet off the ground much. I was starting to feel sick to my stomach as  I was boarding my flight. I gave one final glance at my mother before I turned my attention straight ahead and got on the plane.