Your Love

January 4, 1988, Seattle, Washington

      When I half way stumbled off the plane in Seattle I felt like that was exactly where I was supposed to be and looking at it now I just might say you'd be right. I walked out of Seattle's airport into the cold dreary Washington weather. I started walking I didn't take more than a couple of backpacks with me to start, I told my mom whenever. I figured it out I would send money for her to send me the rest of my belongings. It was cold and rainy so I decided to walk until I got tired and needed to find a motel room for a few days. I started walking through the busy bustling streets of Seattle. It felt somewhat natural to me even though I had never lived there a day in my life but that was changing starting the minute my plane landed and I got off. I knew that the life  I once knew was over and I knew that I had to make it.
        I walked well a lot longer and farther than I had anticipated, I had decided that I didn't want to live in the city of Seattle it's self but more like somewhere else in Washington state. I wasn't too keen on the idea of hitchhiking or spending more money so I just kept on walking. I think I honestly wound up walking for a solid two weeks before I finally found a small quaint town that's name was Aberdeen. I wound up working at the local gas station in town, I was still in the motel until I could get enough money to get a place of my own. As soon as  I was settled I decided to call home to my family hoping that mom was near the phone and would answer.
        "Hello?" My mother's voice said as she answered the phone.
        "Momma its me Rhi."
        "Rhi why haven't you called me it's been two weeks since I dropped you off at the airport what have you been doing this whole time?" My mother demanded when she knew it was me.
        "Momma calm down I have spent the last two weeks walking through Washington state. I have just barely checked into a motel room. So will you please just give me a break mom. I already have a job so things are going fine. I'm trying to save up more money so that way  I can actually get a place to call my own." I said immediately trying to ease my mothers frantic worrying mind. She never did well when she thought that I was hurt or wasn't safe.
        "Okay well that's good that now that you're out there you have got something good coming your way." She said sounding like she was a lot less stressed than she was when I called her.
        "Yes it is momma, you know Washington is cold but really green and I think I'm really going to like it here." I said smiling even though I knew I was the only one who would know that I'm smiling.
        "Well that's good sweetheart I just want you to be happy, and if you're happy out there then I'm happy." My mother said and I could here the happiness, and sincerity in her voice.
        "Thanks mom, well I'm awful tired so I'm gonna let you go so I can get some sleep. I'm exhausted from not sleeping much while I was on the road." I said trying but failing at stifling the yawn that came out of me.
        "I for one as your mother agree with you, you need to rest call me when you wake up and you're well rested. Goodnight dear." My mother said before she hung up the phone.
        Part of me kind of felt bad and I wondered if I had woken my mom up with my call or if she had been sleeping as little as I had simply just because she was worried. That was my mother though, she always worried about me and everything that I did whether I was completely safe or had a possibility of getting hurt or even killed. She just never could seem to trust that I'm strong enough and smart enough to make it on my own.
        I got ready for bed and I laid down on the motel bed, I was so tired and I hadn't slept on a real bed in days and it felt good to finally lay on one. I drifted to sleep and had a pretty much dreamless sleep and that was pretty normal for me considering I was almost always had nightmare when I did dream. Or maybe I did dream but I didn't remember it.

    It was peaceful and I couldn't bring myself to find anything wrong with the peaceful feeling that was washing over me, as I was drifting further into unconsciousness. I awoke the next morning morning to find that I was pretty well rested. I had to get up and start getting ready for work. I had a feeling of dread because I had to be social and talk to literally a bunch of strangers all day long. That realization made me miss home but I knew I couldn't go back home.

    Inside I felt almost like I was miles away. I had to keep telling myself it was just the jitters because it being my first day at work and I'm totally alone. The gas station wasn't too far from the motel. When I got there my boss was the only somewhat familiar face.

    "Hey Rhi, glad to have you here."

    "Glad to be here John" I said with a smile. Training it was well exactly what you would expect. Boring and I just wanted it to be over. Everything he was showing me was simple enough but I paid attention anyways to make sure I knew what the fuck I was doing. Once that was over I was on my own. I was kind of happy about that.