{ 40 } Still

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CHAPTER FORTY

" she didn't realize she was actually drowning while she was trying to save everyone else. she didn't think she deserved to put her wants
first "

My eyes flutter open heavily, finding the red darkness all too consuming

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My eyes flutter open heavily, finding the red darkness all too consuming. My eyelids feel like heavy weights on my eyes, that crack open to blinding light.

It takes time for them to adjust to my surroundings, my whole body feeling trapped against the floor. I can't move, because if I try, the pain consumes me once again. It felt like something was lying overtop me, locking me to the floor. My right arm is in a sling against my body made out of tarps, probably put together by everyones favorite blondie.

The outline of a figure finally blurs into a recognizable face, the shaggy dark hair and worried gaze something familiar to me. It takes him a moment to realize that I've woken up.

I shiver, moving my fingers to wrap around the fabric surrounding me. I turn my neck slightly, confused by it. My jacket surely didn't survive that, did it? Then, when I inhale against my chest's sharp pains of protest, I know. I pull the jacket around me tighter, the smell of Bellamy encompassing me. I bury myself in it slightly, knowing he was okay. I push away the thought of wanting him here, knowing he's probably to mad at me for lying to see me. I get it. Finn and Raven were all I needed.

    "IQ?" Finn asks softly, startling me out of my thoughts. I open my eyes as wide as I can, yet one seems swollen so that I can't open it fully.

    "Is Raven okay?" My voice sounds unlike it, foreign to me in the way it's light and raspy. I find it a struggle to get a good breath of air, but disregard it as an outcome of the blast.

I can hear Finn's laugh, like music to my ears— I almost thought I'd never hear it again.

    "You died, and yet you don't care about yourself," Finn scoffs, taken aback by my reaction. All I remember is waking up with Clarke, Jasper, Bellamy, Octavia and Finn surrounding me. I never thought I had died, I just thought I was unconscious.

    "Finn," My eyes darken with concern, wanting to know if my best friend survived the sickness. If she didn't, I don't think I'll ever be okay again. Raven saved my life, and I won't ever be able to repay her for that.

I see Finn sigh, letting go of my hand before slumping forward beside me. "She's sleeping. I couldn't- I couldn't tell her. She'd be furious," Finn mumbles, unable to look me in the eye.

    "You said you were right behind me," Finn comments, his eyes darkening.

     "Well I'm here now," I answer, not wanting to argue with him. I was too tired to do any of that.

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