The Beautifully Reckless

Chapter Eight

Mila-Rose's POV

It's been a week since I've had the surgery. Everything went well and I healed very quickly. I got my stitches out earlier and I'm now on my way to the Why Don't We house. I stop at the store and buy them each a little stuffed animal and then head to In and Out and get them all food. Gotta thank my boys. I pull up to their house and grab the food and stuffed animals. I trudge up to their front door and knock. As I wait for them to answer I feel my phone buzz a couple times. I wonder who it is. The door opens and I'm met with the face of Corbyn. "Hey Mills, come on in." He says, opening the door more so I can go in. I walk in and wait for him to close the door. "Where are the others, I need to talk to you guys." I explain my visit.

He gestures for me to follow him and starts walking towards the kitchen. "Look who decided to stop by." Corbyn announces when we walk into the kitchen. The boys all stop talking and focus on me. "What's up Mila?" Jack asks. "I wanted to thank you guys for being so helpful this week. You guys did a lot for me so I got you stuffies and food." I say, setting the bags in the counter. "You didn't have to do that." Daniel says. I wave him off and start handing out the food and stuffed animals. "What is this even supposed to be?" Zach asks, looking at the stuffie. I shrug and hand Jack his food and stuffie. "I have no clue. But they were soft and cute so deal with it." I say. The boys dig into their food and I laugh. "I also bought myself this stuffed unicorn because I got my stitches out earlier." I say, hugging the stuffed unicorn. "Oh yeah, how did that go?" Jonah asks. "Fine. It felt weird and the scar is kinda cool." I say. "Can we see the scar?" Jack asks. I nod and pull my shirt up a bit. I point out the scar and they all look at it. "What's that scar from?" Daniel asks, pointing at another scar above it.

I momentarily panic. That scar is about two inches long. "My mom gave me that scar when she stabbed me." I mumble. "I'm sorry, what was that?" He asks, tearing his gaze away from the scar. "That scar is from when my mom stabbed me when I was thirteen." I say, louder. All the boys look at me as I look down at my fingers. "Why did she, uhm, stab you?" Zach asks, breaking some of the tension. "I kept wiggling and screaming when her boyfriend tried to rape me. She got mad and stabbed me to show me a lesson." I explain. Confusion is on all the boys faces and I lower my shirt. "Anyways do you like the presents?" I ask, hoping to change the topic. "We love them Mills. And whatever that stuffed thing is, it's super soft." Corbyn exclaims. "Good I'm glad you like them." I smile. "You didn't have to get us anything Mills. You're like our sister. We would do anything for you." Daniel says. "You guys are my brothers, I guess except for Jonah with this whole ordeal going on, but I wanted to get you guys something." I explain.

"So what have you been doing this whole week in recovery?" Jack asks, eating a fry. "I got to go through some of my old things. I even found my old song book." I say. "You have a song book?" Corbyn asks. I nod. "When my mom first got really bad I bought a little journal and made it my song book. I kept writing when I first moved in with Logan and his family. I stopped after I started feeling better and I just recently found it again. Some of the songs aren't all that bad, they just need some work." I explain. "We can help if you want." Jonah suggests. "Well I have it with me if you wanna look through it." I say, grabbing my messenger bag. I rifle through it and pull out my tattered old song book. It's a black leather book with frayed and ripped edges. Papers are sticking out of it and some of the papers inside are folded over and ripped. I hand it to Jonah and the guys gather around reading over his shoulder. "How old were you when you wrote these?" Zach asks, looking up from the book. "I started when I was around thirteen. I stopped a few months after my fourteenth birthday." I say, playing with my shirt.

"These are really good Mills." Jack says, flipping through the pages. I thank him and take the book back, flipping through some of the pages. For almost two years this book was my safe haven. I poured out all my hurt and sadness into this book. This book brings back so many memories. Finding out my dad died, the abuse, the drugs, the almost rape, the cutting of my thighs, the almost suicide, getting adopted, Logan and Jake, my YouTube career, all the people I've met and can call family, my happiness. I don't even realize I'm crying until a tear lands on the cover of the book. "Milly are you okay?" Jonah whispers, laying a hand on my shoulder. I bring a hand up and wipe my tears away. "Yeah I'm good." I nod. "You sure?" He asks, concern all over his face. Instead of responding I pull him into a tight hug, burying my face in his shoulder. "Thank you, so much. For everything." I whisper. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me just as tight. "No problem Milly." He says, confusion laced in his words.

I pull back and wipe under my eyes before pulling Jack into a hug. "Thank you for everything Jack." I whisper, gripping onto his body. He hugs me back. "Why are you thanking me?" He asks. I don't answer and hug the other boys thanking them for everything too. They all ask why they are being thanked but I don't answer any of them. As soon as I release Corbyn, Logan bursts through the door. Before he can say anything I run up and hug him too. "Thank you for everything Logan." I say. "I didn't even do anything." He says, pulling away. "You've done so much Logan." I tell him before grabbing my song book and bag. "I have to go. I'll see you whenever." I announce. I walk out the door before anyone can protest. I have video ideas and I need to get started right away. I make my way home and throw my stuff on the couch. I race up to my room and grab my camera. 

I set it up in my living room and start filming. "Hey guys, it's Mila-Rose and today's video is gonna be different. My next handful of videos will be different. These are thank you videos. After talking to the WDW boys today I got this idea. I want to thank everyone but I needed to do it in a way they'll never forget. So I'm gonna post these for the world to see." I explain. I go into more detail saying there will be two to three people mentioned in each video so I don't have to make thirty of these. "The first person I want to thank is my eldest brother, Logan Paul. When I first met Logan he immediately made me feel welcomed. My depressed fourteen year old self hated how happy you were all the time. You were and still are loud and absolutely insane. I despised how happy you always were. But once I got to know you, I didn't hate your constant pep and cheer. I loved it because it made me feel human again. You have introduced me to so many opportunities in my life and I'm extremely grateful for you. I can't imagine life with out you now. Oh and congrats on ten million subscribers. Not to brag but I just hit thirteen million." I say.

"Next is the middle kid, Jake Paul. Jake when we first met you hated me. I made you the middle kid and I was the quiet little girl. I wasn't very open towards anyone and I practically never left my room. Logan would talk my ear off and you just sat there and rolled your eyes. But once I started becoming more open, you started to like me. You became super overprotective of me. Once you moved to LA you started doing these wild and crazy things. You never focused on the hate. And watching that video you did with that little girl from Make a Wish was absolutely beautiful. It was so heartwarming and in my head all I could think was 'that's my brother. Be jealous.' You are a good person and you do care. Don't let anyone contain your wild side. They need to unleash theirs." I grin. "Lastly is Lilly Singh. This woman is the definition of awesome. She has taught me how to be a boss and be confident in who I am as a person. She's like my older sister and I love her. She's so mature and wise but she isn't afraid to let loose and let her inner kid be free. She's a total badass and has major hair goals. I'm so glad I get to call you family. You don't listen to the haters at all and you are taking over the world. Naming your channel SuperWoman was probably the best thing ever because you truly are a superwoman."

I do an outro and put my camera away. I start making a list of people I need to thank. I didn't realize how many people have impacted my life until now. I sit back and realize how many videos I'm gonna have to make. I have such a big family. I take a break from the list and move onto my song book. I start rewriting some of the songs and pretty soon I've rewritten most of them. The words just flowed. I decide to go down to my recording studio and record the vocals for a few songs. (A/N: I own none of these songs. A list of all the songs used for her will be at the end of the story.) I record vocals for my song Rainbow, Praying, Learn to Let Go, Force of Nature, Paper Doll, I Can't Breathe, and Burning Bridges. I leave my recording booth and make my way to the trampoline room. I pull out my phone and go on Instagram for a bit before falling asleep.